We Should All Have Android Bodies

You might think I’m joking about this, but I’m not. This is how the last couple of days have been for me.

Me: My injured foot is doing better. What a relief. I can’t wait to get back into my normal workout routines again.

Body:  Ooh, look! A shiny illness. I heard they pair perfectly with feet injuries, especially during cold and flu season when you can get fresh, locally-grown sicknesses at every corner store.

Me: Wait, what?

Body: It’s so sparkly. I want to cuddle it, name it Fluffy, and carry it around for a while.

Me: Illnesses do not sparkle and you do not want to touch that one. Trust me. It will be better for everyone if you put it down and go wash your hands with soap and hot water.

Body: Too late! Sorry not sorry, but I’m keeping it. The three of us are going to be besties until your immune and digestive systems figure out how fight back.

Based on how I’ve been feeling these past few weeks, I am beyond ready for humanity to figure out a way to give everyone an android body. Meat suits have some benefits, but they also need far too many repairs and recuperation time when they have accidents or pick up the wrong germs.

Give me a nice, robotic body instead. I’d be quite happy to never have to think about all of the things that can go terribly wrong with flesh, bones, and organs even when you’re only dealing with diagnoses that have an expiration date.

The science fiction genre often acts as though transitioning from having a purely biological form to at least partially existing as a computer program would be a terrible fate, but all I can think about is how nice it would be to no longer get sick or injured anymore.

Would you sign up to have your consciousness transferred to an android body if such a thing were possible?

 

6 Responses to We Should All Have Android Bodies

  1. My dumb body is ready. To be replaced. Especially the spine. And the ankle. And my broken nose. And my neck. And, ugh, actually can I also get an android brain while we’re at it? Because mine sucks.

  2. I’m working on a bionic ear (one cochlear implant company is actually called Cochlear Bionics). It’s an incredible pain in the butt. Surgery, computers in my head, wires in the inner ear–and they haven’t turned on audio yet. I miss the natural stuff. The real meat and bones. And I’m grateful if this all leads to hearing again. It should. I lifted weights the day before surgery on Feb. 5 but haven’t been able to lift since. I hope to return in 2 weeks (when I get medical permission) and start all over again. I know it works. Meanwhile, walking in the snow. Hang in there.

  3. Well, given that I’m battery operated via my cochlear ear implant, I see the benefits of both. But I doubt I’d be as empathetic if I didn’t have the aches and pains. Do you think an all-robot body would change our humanity?

    Feel better! This winter sucks for colds.

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