I’ve finally found a use for it: poetry. Everything in Letter to You (including the title!) was harvested from recent, unsolicited emails to me and Drew.
When you’ve finished reading it I challenge you to make the best of something. Copy my idea for spam poetry, transform something that you’d normally throw out or recycle into a work of art, laugh instead of scowl at adversity and then come tell us about it in the comment section.
From dubious links and pleading letters from Nigeria comes a maudlin poem about the intersection between love, loss and profit.
Without further ado I present:
Letter To You
This mail might come to you as a surprise
and the temptation to ignore it as unserious
could come into your mind but please consider
it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense
I never really cared about other people
before this happened.
(Died on the 24th of November.)
My business and concern
for making money was all I was living for.
(Plot 84, if actually this is true. Three
days from now and there is no response.
We will confirm that you are dead indeed.)
I made $450 in a few hours.
I snagged $888 in less then a day.
I have 18,000,000.00 U. S. Dollars.
But since the loss I have found a new desire to
assist the helpless orphans in orphanages/
Don’t say I never help anyone!
You did not die.
Please I want you.
You have to get back to us.
Kindly expedite action and contact me.
You’re going to be so happy!