When Life Gives You Spam, Make Poetry

Spam happens.

I’ve finally found a use for it: poetry. Everything in Letter to You (including the title!) was harvested from recent, unsolicited emails to me and Drew.

When you’ve finished reading it I challenge you to make the best of something. Copy my idea for spam poetry, transform something that you’d normally throw out or recycle into a work of art, laugh instead of scowl at adversity and then come tell us about it in the comment section.

From dubious links and pleading letters from Nigeria comes a maudlin poem about the intersection between love, loss and profit.

Without further ado I present:

 

Letter To You


This mail might come to you as a surprise

and the temptation to ignore it as unserious

could come into your mind but please consider

it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense

of humility.

 

I never really cared about other people

before this happened.

 

(Died on the 24th of November.)

 

My business and concern

for making money was all I was living for.

 

(Plot 84, if actually this is true. Three

days from now and there is no response.

We will confirm that you are dead indeed.)

 

I made $450 in a few hours.

I snagged $888 in less then a day.

I have 18,000,000.00 U. S. Dollars.

 

But since the loss I have found a new desire to

assist the helpless orphans in orphanages/

motherless homes/humanitarians.

 

Don’t say I never help anyone!

 

You did not die.

Please I want you.

You have to get back to us.

Kindly expedite action and contact me.

You’re going to be so happy!

12 Responses to When Life Gives You Spam, Make Poetry

  1. This is truly priceless. I laughed so hard! I just LOVE it. I usually  just delete my spam folder so now I’m hoping I actually have some spam to work with so I can post my own poetry. You did a great job! What creativity and fun!Thanks so much. (i use exclamation points way too much! lol)

  2. I needn’t have worried. I had tons of spam that needed to be deleted. But, first, I wrote a short Spam Poem just for you!!Want to know what’s in the future for 2011?
           Get your tarot reading now-

    Elder care
          Mature dating
    Sacred hair growth
          Medicare
    Hip recall
          Anti-aging

    Please do keep this to yourself
          I beg you not to disclose it
               Till I come over

    I believe you will not betray my trust

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