Spam happens.
I’ve finally found a use for it: poetry. Everything in Letter to You (including the title!) was harvested from recent, unsolicited emails to me and Drew.
When you’ve finished reading it I challenge you to make the best of something. Copy my idea for spam poetry, transform something that you’d normally throw out or recycle into a work of art, laugh instead of scowl at adversity and then come tell us about it in the comment section.
From dubious links and pleading letters from Nigeria comes a maudlin poem about the intersection between love, loss and profit.
Without further ado I present:
Letter To You
This mail might come to you as a surprise
and the temptation to ignore it as unserious
could come into your mind but please consider
it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense
of humility.
I never really cared about other people
before this happened.
(Died on the 24th of November.)
My business and concern
for making money was all I was living for.
(Plot 84, if actually this is true. Three
days from now and there is no response.
We will confirm that you are dead indeed.)
I made $450 in a few hours.
I snagged $888 in less then a day.
I have 18,000,000.00 U. S. Dollars.
But since the loss I have found a new desire to
assist the helpless orphans in orphanages/
motherless homes/humanitarians.
Don’t say I never help anyone!
You did not die.
Please I want you.
You have to get back to us.
Kindly expedite action and contact me.
You’re going to be so happy!
this is fun!
Thank you. I had a great time piecing it together.
Please, Tammy, write a poem!!!
This is truly priceless. I laughed so hard! I just LOVE it. I usually just delete my spam folder so now I’m hoping I actually have some spam to work with so I can post my own poetry. You did a great job! What creativity and fun!Thanks so much. (i use exclamation points way too much! lol)
I needn’t have worried. I had tons of spam that needed to be deleted. But, first, I wrote a short Spam Poem just for you!!Want to know what’s in the future for 2011?
Get your tarot reading now-
Elder care
Mature dating
Sacred hair growth
Medicare
Hip recall
Anti-aging
Please do keep this to yourself
I beg you not to disclose it
Till I come over
I believe you will not betray my trust
This is great, Teresa. I wonder why the narrator is so secretive about his/her health problems? It looks like you had a fantastic time putting it together.
Scholarly poetry with a flair of humorous hilarity has never better been written! Bravo!!
*bows* 😀
Excellent work!
Thanks!
Brilliant!
Thank you.