When Life Gives You Spam, Make Poetry

Spam happens.

I’ve finally found a use for it: poetry. Everything in Letter to You (including the title!) was harvested from recent, unsolicited emails to me and Drew.

When you’ve finished reading it I challenge you to make the best of something. Copy my idea for spam poetry, transform something that you’d normally throw out or recycle into a work of art, laugh instead of scowl at adversity and then come tell us about it in the comment section.

From dubious links and pleading letters from Nigeria comes a maudlin poem about the intersection between love, loss and profit.

Without further ado I present:

 

Letter To You


This mail might come to you as a surprise

and the temptation to ignore it as unserious

could come into your mind but please consider

it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense

of humility.

 

I never really cared about other people

before this happened.

 

(Died on the 24th of November.)

 

My business and concern

for making money was all I was living for.

 

(Plot 84, if actually this is true. Three

days from now and there is no response.

We will confirm that you are dead indeed.)

 

I made $450 in a few hours.

I snagged $888 in less then a day.

I have 18,000,000.00 U. S. Dollars.

 

But since the loss I have found a new desire to

assist the helpless orphans in orphanages/

motherless homes/humanitarians.

 

Don’t say I never help anyone!

 

You did not die.

Please I want you.

You have to get back to us.

Kindly expedite action and contact me.

You’re going to be so happy!

0 Responses to When Life Gives You Spam, Make Poetry

  1. This is truly priceless. I laughed so hard! I just LOVE it. I usually  just delete my spam folder so now I’m hoping I actually have some spam to work with so I can post my own poetry. You did a great job! What creativity and fun!Thanks so much. (i use exclamation points way too much! lol)

  2. I needn’t have worried. I had tons of spam that needed to be deleted. But, first, I wrote a short Spam Poem just for you!!Want to know what’s in the future for 2011?
           Get your tarot reading now-

    Elder care
          Mature dating
    Sacred hair growth
          Medicare
    Hip recall
          Anti-aging

    Please do keep this to yourself
          I beg you not to disclose it
               Till I come over

    I believe you will not betray my trust

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