Category Archives: Uncategorised

Here is this week’s list of short stories, photographs, jokes, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

History Explained for Toddlers via sillymummy88‬. This was so funny.

Do Yoga, and Show Kindness to Yourself via StellarJennifer‬. I was especially interested in this because I recently started trying yoga myself.

230:366 via hobnob‬. Be sure to read the tags on this photograph to get the full story. The photo itself was beautiful, but the explanation of what was going on in it made everything even better.

Here’s What Happens To Your Body When You Hike The Appalachian Trail. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to hike this trail. This was an interesting look at how all of that walking affects the human body in both positive and negative ways.

88 More Truths I’ve Learned About Life. I originally wanted to share an excerpt of this post, but I don’t want to spoil anything for you.

From I Remember Your Face:

“There’ll be storms tonight,” she heard her mother say to someone inside the bunker. “Kick up the dust.”

Storms meant sealed windows and no sunset. It meant masks as they slept, and the old car battery running all night, hooked up to the radiation detector. She was reluctant to go inside.

What have you been reading?

Photo credit: @weird_hist on Twitter.

Today has been a quiet and contemplative day.

There have been times when I skipped the polls because I didn’t think that my vote mattered. I know that’s an easy thought pattern to fall into, especially in political races where one candidate seems sure to win.

Your vote does matter, though. There was a time not too long ago when people would have done anything to have the opportunity you have to change the way things are run.

I’ve been thinking about the Suffragette movement on this quiet, contemplative day. On August 18, 1920, the Nineteenth amendment to the Constitution was ratified in the United States.

Women have had the right to vote in the States for less than a century. Several of my great-grandparents were children when this law passed (although not all of them were living in the U.S. at the time). One of them lived long enough for me to have many, clear memories of her.

Some of my extended family members are African-American. Disenfranchisement of their votes was extremely common until the 1960s in certain areas. It’s still happening today.

None of this is ancient history. There are still many people who remember when voting was a privilege that only certain folks got to have.

People who wanted to vote were threatened, arrested, and thrown into jail. Some of them died.

Think of them the next time you decide whether or not to vote this election cycle.

I’m not a big fan of Olympic games, but this video makes me feel like I could discuss it with someone who had been eagerly watching them since they began.

Watch the video regardless of what you think of the Olympics or how much you’ve been following the various competitions in it. John is such a witty, creative guy that I think he can find something to make just about everyone laugh.

A few weeks ago, my friend Michael asked me if I’d rather face a zombie apocalypse or a U.S. presidential election season. This post is the unexpected lovechild of that idea. It contains some spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen all six seasons of The Walking Dead yet.

Two things have been on my mind recently: The Walking Dead and the 2016 election in the States. They’ve both been full of unexpected surprises, both positive and negative. They’re both also threatening to go on until the end of time.

What interests me the most about The Walking Dead universe is that it’s a society without politics. Nobody there cares who you voted for or what party – if any – you align yourself with. It’s hard for me to imagine any of the characters arguing about abortion, marriage equality, the death penalty, police brutality, gun control, or any of the other issues that people have strong opinions about in our universe.

Rick, Michonne, and their friends have other things to worry about at the moment.

Still, it’s fun to think about what some of the main characters from that show would be like as political leaders. You don’t live very long in a zombie apocalypse without knowing how to finagle your way out of a sticky situation.  This is how I imagine they’d behave if they were transported to our version of Earth and decided to run for office.

Rick Grimes would start off by adding his name to the ballot and campaigning more aggressively than the average candidate. If he didn’t win, he’d pay close attention to the winner. An intelligent and fair one would have little to fear from him. Anyone else would be in grave danger of being deposed, especially if they threatened to reduce the funding of the public schools that Carl and Judith would and will be attending. Under no circumstances would he allow his children to run for office when they grew up.

Carol Peletier would skip straight to the deposing when her opponent won. She would be wildly uncomfortable with all of the schmoozing required to be a politician, but she also wouldn’t trust anyone other than herself to keep society chugging along.

Michonne would run a fair and honest campaign. She wouldn’t make any promises she couldn’t keep, and she’d treat her opponent with respect. For these reasons, she probably wouldn’t win unless the other characters were voting for her and she was running in a very small town. If she did win, though, she’d be the most competent leader out of anyone from this show.

Daryl Dixon would quietly disappear into the forest the second that anyone mentioned the possibility of him becoming a politician. He wouldn’t return again until someone else had been elected and he was sure he was safe from the possibility of being forced to take a bath and make small talk with strangers.  Morgan Jones would most probably leave with him, although they’d go their  separate ways once they were safely a few miles into the forest.

Glenn Rhee would relish the idea of being a mayor in a small town or in a quiet suburb of a bigger city as long as Maggie was with him. He would stand a good chance of winning, although he probably wouldn’t run for re-election. One term would be more than enough for him.

Maggie Greene would prefer the faster pace of life in a big city. She wouldn’t be opposed to running for more than one term if she won the first race, although at some point she’d probably want to move on to a more physically active career.

Abraham Ford would lie his way into office. Most of his constituents would love how much he accomplished, though, and wouldn’t have a problem re-electing him in the future as long as he wasn’t running against Rosita at any point and they didn’t find out about his trouble telling the truth until after he’d been in office for a few years.

Rosita Espinosa would only run if Abraham was also running. It would be a tight race, but she would probably be triumphant if she was willing to talk about all of the things her opponent was hiding from the public. She wouldn’t enjoy the pressures of being a public official, though, and would probably not run for re-election.

Which characters from The Walking Dead do you think would make good politicians? What characters from other shows have you imagined running for office?

To finally answer your original question, Michael: at this point, right now I think I’d take my chances with the zombies. 

Here is this week’s list of flash fiction and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

I included the picture on the right because it intrigues me. I sure wish I knew what book it was from.

Profanity Is Pretty F**king Good for Us, Actually. As true as this may be, I’d still feel weird about cursing in front of certain relatives. Ha!

Don’t Worry: Wi-Fi Isn’t Dangerous. This was a great article.

This Is the Best Way to Motivate Yourself to Exercise via SugarSavvyRN‬. I somehow managed to discovered several of these methods on my own when I started exercising regularly a few years ago. It’s nice to have confirmation, though.

Laying Down My Stethoscope via AnneLippin. Many professions are experiencing unrealistic pressures to do more with way less time, money, and support than even the most experienced and talented people working in them require to do their job safely. Pressuring health care workers this way is even more dangerous, though, because people’s very lives are at stake.

The Public Shaming of England’s First Umbrella User. One of the things I enjoy the most about casually studying history is occasionally running across strangely hilarious stories like this one.

From The Original Underclass:

One of America’s founding myths, of course, is that the simple act of leaving England and boldly starting new lives in the colonies had an equalizing effect on the colonists, swiftly narrowing the distance between indentured servant and merchant, landowner and clerk.

From A Letter to the Sister I Ate in Utero via shawnamawna:

I’m not sure why it happened. You were there in one ultrasound. A shadow person. A double image. The doctor says I absorbed you. Mama says that makes me twice the woman I might have been.

What have you been reading?

The other day when I was filling out a government form I was reminded of the process I went through to become a permanent resident – and later a citizen – of Canada. Someone recently mentioned wanting a post from me about these experiences, so I thought today was a good time to talk about it.

It all started 11 years ago when I married my Canadian-born husband.

The first thing you need to know about the Canadian government is that they love forms. If you want to live here, expect to answer 3596 questions about your relationship, wedding, employment history, Hogwarts house*, previous address, past and current affiliations with any organization, and a thousand other questions whose answers should be neatly printed in blue or black ink. Just when you think you’ve answered the last of them, two more will wiggle out after it.

After you have the paperwork filled out, it’s time to start visiting medical, photography, and police offices that are always on the opposite sides of the city. No, you can’t condense your trips. No matter which one you pick first, your next stop will be at least an hour away from where you currently are and will need to have an appointment booked for an entirely different day.

Once they’ve determined that you’re not a criminal, do not have vampiric tendencies, and that you haven’t secretly carried any communicable diseases into a country you’re already living in, it’s time to send in your application and lots of money.

Don’t worry – the government did receive all of your paperwork, and everything is in perfect order.

While you’re waiting for this news, you also won’t be allowed to work, collect social assistance, go to school, or leave the country. If you are very lucky like I was, your family will be able to come visit you in Canada while you’re in limbo. Those visits will be like a cup of cold water on a hot day.

The government will slowly acknowledge that your application is in order months later. A year or more after that they will summon you to a small office where an official will have you sign some forms. He’ll stamp something and then tell you where the nearest Ontario Works office is in case you’re in need of it.

You are now allowed to get a job, go to school, or leave the country if you so wish. If you’re gone too long, though, your permanent residency will be revoked and you’ll have to start again from the beginning. Time spent away from Canada also won’t count towards the 1,460 days you’ll need to live here before applying for citizenship.

This part of the story won’t apply to every permanent resident or citizen. When I started signing up for stuff like my Ontario driver’s license, though, I noticed a difference between how I was treated and how people from other countries were treated. As an American, I was allowed to get a license without any tests other than a quick eye test to make sure I could see a basic number of things. People from many other countries had much more rigorous experiences. Some had to start at the beginning with driving classes, while others had to take tests to prove they were competent before they were given a license. There were several examples of this, and it bothered me for reasons I’ll explain in a little while.

Fast-forward about 1400 days: it is now time to apply for citizenship. The good news is that the application form for this one is much cheaper and simpler. They will basically want an updated picture of you, a small fee, and the assurance that you speak English or French. Oh, and there will be a test.

The funny thing about the test is that no one tells you how difficult it will be. You will study the Canadian history and government book they mail to you like you life depends on it, memorizing all kinds of dates, names, and events that will float up into your memory again years later.

None of this will be necessary. The test is written at a sixth grade level, and most of the questions are about as challenging as this one:

Q. What is the meaning of the Remembrance Day poppy?

A. Every remembrance day we remember how delicious poppies are in pies.

B. Our queen thinks they’re pretty.

C. To remember the sacrifice of Canadians who have served or died in war.

D.  They’re the only flower that no one in Canada is allergic to, so everyone wears them when we gather in large groups and want to do something as a team.

Once again, this next part won’t apply to every new Canadian citizen. Those of us who are fluent in English have very different experiences when we hand in our tests. The clerks overseeing the testing room are supposed to ask you a series of questions when you turn in your test to ensure that you’re fluent in at least one of the official languages of the land. My clerk asked me if the weather in Ohio (the state I spent most of my childhood in) was similar to Ontario. When I smiled and said they were basically identical, she waved me off with a friendly goodbye.

The woman talking to the clerk next to me, meanwhile, was being asking very specific questions about where she lived and who she lived with. When her husband tried to say something as she struggled to talk, the clerk threatened to send them off to a judge for the spoken language portion of the exam if he interfered again.

While I completely agree that it’s a good idea for new citizens to understand at least one of the languages of their soon-to-be adopted country, it was odd to be bumped ahead in the process while she was asked so many extra questions.

I understand wanting to screen people carefully, but the process did not feel fair to me. I was scrutinized far less than other applicants for reasons that were 100% out of anyone’s control. I never chose to be born in the U.S. or to have English-speaking parents. It was all a gigantic roll of the egg and sperm dice.

But I digress.

The citizenship ceremony a few months later will be short and sweet. Mine was full of young families. Some of the new citizens were toddlers, so their parents had to carry them across the room to pick up their certificate of citizenship when their names were called.

And then you become a Canadian. For the rest of your life, you will get to tease Americans about that time we burned down the White House in 1814. Fun fact: that was the only time in U.S. history when the White House was attacked. Other fun fact: Canadians are extremely proud of this.

*This really only matters if you’re a Slytherin. Everyone else shouldn’t worry too much. 😉

No, that title isn’t misspelled. You’ll see why as soon as you watch this short film.

My grandparents have had a large garden for decades. This is the time of year when their kitchen is filled with all kinds of vegetables that will soon be frozen, canned, sauced, juiced, or otherwise preserved for the long, cold months to come.

Preparing for winter isn’t only for people who have gardens, though. Now is the perfect time to start thinking ahead about all kinds of needs that you and your family will have over the next six months or so.

First, Start Making the Lists

Clothing. Is there anything you currently own that no longer fits and should be donated to charity? What would work perfectly well if you replaced a missing button or sewed up a torn seam ? What will you need definitely to replace before the season changes?

Transportation. If you own a car, does it need snow tires or routine maintenance? How long are you planning to ride your bike before switching to public transit when the snow piles up? Will your winter boots last another season?

Gifts. Who are you planning to buy holiday gifts?  Does this list need to be culled or expanded this year? What is your budget for all of these gifts?

Now jot down a few quick gift ideas for anyone who is easy to buy for. If you’re planning to make or buy anything that isn’t easy to find, think about how much time you need to spend on it as well.

Health. Do any of your vaccinations need to be updated? It’s good to find out early when and where to get any boosters you might need. The health department in Toronto starts giving out free flu shots in the autumn, for example, but the lines can be very long for people who put it off.

Go through your cabinets and look at the expiration dates for all of the medications and vitamins you find there as well. Make a note of any medications that are running low or expiring soon. Cold and flu season is around the corner. It’s nice to already have at least some of the remedies you’ll need to get through the day when you wake up feeling terrible in a few months.

Projects and Distractions. Longterm readers know how restless I get at the end of every winter. One of the ways I’m planning to combat cabin fever this year is to have a list of movies to watch, recipes to try, and other fun ideas to perk me up at the end of February when I feel like spring is never going to arrive.

Your list is probably going to look quite different from mine, but now is a wonderful time to start writing it if there are things you want to accomplish over the winter or if you get a little blue by the end of it.

Put It All Together

The nice thing about having all of these lists compiled is that you don’t have to run around and check off every entry on them right away. Most of the major gift-giving holidays are still several months away, and the season won’t start changing for at least another month as well.

I keep a short list of what I’ll need on my cellphone and start paying attention to sales well before I actually need to pick up that item. Shopping isn’t something I find relaxing or entertaining, so I try to do it in small bursts. I enjoy shopping a lot more if I can pick up one item on sale and then ignore the rest of my list until the next time I notice a good deal or feel like browsing a different store for 10 minutes.

There have been times when I came up with creative gift ideas simply by giving myself plenty of time to think about what that person would actually enjoy and happening to run across something that would suit them well. While some people seem to enjoy last-minute shopping, I think there’s something to be said for taking your time and not buying for a dozen different loved ones at once. It also makes for a better shopping experience because December is such a hectic month in the retail world. I’d much rather avoid all of that frenzied energy and return to my list in January when things calm down.

The other nice thing about this tactic is that it gives you a lot of time to think about whether you actually need item X. For example, I’ve been mulling over the idea of  buying walking sandals for several years. There are always a few hot days every summer when I wish I had a pair, but so far I haven’t wanted them enough to justify spending the money on something I’d only use a handful of times a year. (On the flip side, I am very grateful for my prescription sunglasses every time I put them on and get a break from the glare of the sun. They’re worth every penny, and then some!)

I hope this post has inspired you to start thinking about the shifting seasons to come. I’d love to know what your plan is for the winter. When do you start planning ahead for it?

Here is this week’s list of poems, short stories, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Sleepy Heads via Modquokka‬. If we all lived in the same neighbourhood, I’d invite everyone over to my house to eat homemade chocolate chip cookies while I read this aloud to you.

Mango Nightmares. This is one of the funniest and most baffling things I’ve read in a long time. Do any of my followers have nightmares if they eat mangos?

Eating Habits – Clean vs. Unclean via TakingtheNicki. What a healthy way of looking at food. I really love it.

Two Singles Mean a Lot via infinitewords14‬. This post was so vivid that I felt like I was standing alongside the author as he decided what to do when he noticed a stranger who needed help.

The Summer People. The perfect thing to read at the end of summer.

49 False Health Myths Debunked by Science. I believed quite a few of these when I was a kid. Did you used to believe any of them?

What have you been reading?

In as little as three decades, much of the Middle East and North Africa will be too hot for humans to survive, forcing people to flee in droves, according to stark climate predictions released last month.

From: Swathes of Middle East and North Africa Will be too Hot for Humans as Early as the 2040s.

This article has been weighing on my mind today.

August in Toronto is hot and humid. We’re currently in the middle of another heat advisory. When this happens, the city offers free air-conditioned places for people to cool off during the day. Our public pools are often kept open later in the evening as well.

Even with these precautions, about a hundred and twenty people die in Toronto every year from illnesses related to the heat. Most of them are homeless, elderly, or have underlying health problems. Millions more of us cope with the heat without any major issues, so it’s easy to sweep it under the rug and forget how dangerous hot weather can be.

There is a hard limit to how much the human body can take, though. We’re beginning to see what that limit is in the Middle East and North Africa.

The humanitarian and environmentalist in me is cringing at the thought of all of the suffering to come. First, people and animals are going to die terrible deaths through no fault of their own. Then entire cities that are going to be abandoned because of their harsh climates. The ecosystems in those areas will permanently change as well. I don’t expect every species to die out, but I think we’ll lose enough of them to disrupt the local food chains.

I wonder how far this uninhabitable zones will spread. While I don’t think climate change will cause humans to go extinct, I do think it will make life much more difficult for the generations to come. They’re going to live on a planet that is hotter, has more unpredictable weather, and has fewer species than it’s had in a very long time.

As a writer, I wonder what it would be like to be the last person to leave one of those communities. How long will it take before humans – or maybe another sentient species altogether – rediscovers them and pieces together the story of how they were created and why they had to be abandoned?

I don’t have any answers. None of this might occur after all. Maybe a team of scientists will invent something that scrubs all of the excess carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and reverses the effects of climate change. (Wouldn’t that be cool if it were possible!)

But it is something I think about a lot as I drink extra water and try to stay out of the sun.