Family Day

Photo by Roland zh.

Photo by Roland zh.

Happy Family Day to my Canadian readers!

Confession:  manufactured holidays like this one are a little silly to me.

Most of us don’t choose our families. We’re born, adopted, or married into them. And that’s it. You’re one of the group now for better or worse. I’m very lucky to have a close-knit immediate family, but even in my specific situation it feels weird to take one day out of the year and focus so intensely on such a small group of people.

These kinds of relationships should be nurtured in small ways over the course of a year, not crammed into one day of mandatory togetherness like Valentine’s Day.

When the card companies start making greeting cards for this holiday – and I have no doubt that they eventually will – who will count on Family Day? The list of people I love absolutely includes family members, but it also includes friends. And a few pets I had growing up that still hover on the edges of nostalgic dreams.  Sometimes animals are people, too. 😉

To reduce the observation of this holiday to “real” relatives would be like trying to celebrate Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie or Easter without jelly beans.

(Why, yes, I do rank holidays at least partially by what kinds of food one should expect at them. Goodies are a big part of what makes almost any holiday special. Some things are only available for short periods of time!)

 

On a less serious note, as I was writing this post I giggled at the thought of turning up on my oldest brother Jesse’s doorstop someday.

“Um, what are you doing here?” he’d ask. We live on nearly opposite sides of North America, so it would be highly unusual for me to visit spontaneously.

“It’s Family Day!” I’d squeal.

“Ok?”

“We’re siblings. This is Family Day. We’re supposed to do something as a Family ™ to observe it.”

“Well, I have to go to work now. We could go out to dinner tonight if Jeni is free…”

“That’s ok. I’ll follow you around all day in the meantime and tell your coworkers really embarrassing stories about your childhood. It’ll be great. ”

“Er, is that really what Canadians do on Family Day?”

At which point I’d pause and consider the likelihood that anyone on my side of the family googled this distinctly non-U.S. custom ahead of time.

“Sure. And then we eat cake.”

“……..”

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Suggestion Saturday: February 15, 2014

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, poems, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Mint Tea Crushed via FrenzyOfFlies:

Mint leaves,
From the Chinese restaurant.
Crushed, stirred with sugar, tea,
Poured into plastic cups.

A Linguist Explains the Grammar of Doge. Wow. This is one of those articles whose comment section should not be overlooked. The response to the post is just as interesting as what was originally said, especially for those of us who are linguistic nerds.

100 Famous Movie Quotes as Charts via InlawsOutlaws. Some of these I understood right away. Others not so much, but it was still fun to give it a try.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman Did Not have Free Choice and Neither Do You. A long but excellent blog post about addiction, free will, mental health, and why some people can safely dabble with mind-altering substances while others get hooked on them in a very short period of time.

Monday Goblin via flirtybloomers. I love the imagery in this poem.

One glance at Harry Stamps’ obituary makes me wish I had known him in person:

He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devil’s Time. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. This can only be viewed as his final protest.


Wild Fell is the best ghost story I’ve read in a very long time.

What I love about ghost stories is how tightly they cling to the past. Whether the deceased died 5 years ago or 200, who they were when they were alive and what happened to them still matters. The unfurling of their lives is as fascinating to me as it is to walk through a graveyard or comb through other people’s memoirs.

This particular book is made even more amazing by its prose. The descriptions are so detailed that I honestly felt as if I was walking alongside the characters as they meet their fates. This is a fantastic choice for anyone who has never read a ghost story before because the paranormal elements are so well balanced by the ordinary activities of daily life.

What have you been reading?

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After the Storm: Part Forty-Three

691px-Orange_tabby_TonyJust tuning in? Start here. 

“No, she didn’t ask that,” Wilma said with a shrug.

Daphne sighed. There were times when the girl’s unusually concrete frame of mind made speaking with her difficult. Subtle nuances in the meanings of words or gestures that other kids picked up early weren’t easy for Wilma. Last summer she’d dragged two yowling cats to hide out in the barn after hearing Isaac casually referring to the fact that there was more than one way to skin a cat. It took more time than Daphne cared to remember to convince her that it was an idiom and the pets were safe.

But today Daphne was thrilled that Wilma needed extra prodding in unfamiliar conversations. Rey might know they have moved, but she didn’t know where they’d ended up. Yet.

The stone was still sending and receiving messages when she shooed the girl off to finish her chores before dinner. Wilma’s conversation was exactly how she had described it. There were no surprises, save for the fact that the girl’s spelling was even more atrocious than Daphne remembered. She was a little surprised Rey was able to make out some of the words.

What surprised her even more was how much the face of the stone had changed since it was last activated. The little buttons on it were larger and brighter. A few options had disappeared entirely, and of the ones that were left not all of them seemed to work any longer. The writing tablet section was still functional. The supply and personnel lists were not. Most curiously of all, the button that once included a series of stories about what was happening in the capital hadn’t been updated at all since the last time the stone stopped working.

After spending a long day surrounded by other people it was actually kind of nice to sit quietly and play around with this puzzle. It was like a book whose pages never stayed the same, except that books never needed to be left in the sun to give them energy. An old word flitted around in the back of Daphne’s mind.

Newspaper.

They had been a kind of book she read about once, but she didn’t remember their characters moving around as much as this one did.

“Does Lemon still like cheese?” The message startled Daphne. “I’ll bring some for him if he does.”

She stared at the screen for a minute. The three-letter answer would be so easy to type out, but what little Daphne knew about the soldiers made her hesitant to give them any information. Lemon had unintentionally intimidated them before, and as soon as he recognized their scents she had no doubt he’d try to lick them to death again.

“Wilma?” The screen blinked. Had a real person been standing in front of her it would have been terribly rude to ignore them. Words weren’t people, though, and Daphne’s conscience only stung her a little as she wrapped the stone in a clean cloth and took it inside without a word.

***

Waiting was the hardest part of this chapter in her life. Daphne had routinely gone days – if not weeks – without speaking to anyone in years past. She’d enjoyed the long, quiet days of rest during the worst heat and the short, busy ones when it was time to plant or harvest. Back then there had been few things to anticipate. When she felt restless she went on long walks at dawn or dusk. On the rare occasions she was lonely she’d go on a short visiting tour, only stopping to see those who’d been kindest to her.

It still felt odd sometimes to wait for the world to come to her. Had the sheriff visited Henry yet to see how serious his threats were? How quickly would Rey and her soldiers track down their new home? Or would she assume they’d died off like so many others? Was there any recent news about the resistance that Avery had told the Reeds since the last time she’d seen them?

Would the baby ever grow into her name? Daphne knew her opinion didn’t count, but she thought it was silly to give such a long one to someone so small. Better to start out with something simple and change it once the kid was old enough to warrant so many syllables. Of course, what else would she expect from a woman who decided that Rosamund was a good name for a burro?

One of these days she would have to start using it, though. The baby was beginning to recognize it as something that belonged to her and her only.

Isaac went back onto the road soon after Wilma’s conversation with Rey. He was never happy in the same location longer than a few weeks. There were only so many places to visit in the valley, though, so Daphne knew she’d see him again soon. The baby grew. Paige shrank even further into herself. It felt like winter would never end.

And then one day the sheriff came walking up the path to Mariposa’s house. He carried a grim smile on his face and a worn satchel over his left shoulder.

 

 

 

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Silent People Love Story

800px-Candy-heartsSomeone found my blog by searching for this phrase recently. I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but I thought I’d write a flash fiction for those of you who do. 

Candy hearts litter the dash. What a nice touch for our last Valentine’s Day.

I sneak one as Jake permanently seals the doors and starts the engine. We’ve been together so many years that we don’t need words at takeoff. He does his work and I do mine.

The cargo growls. A faint, sulphuric odour fills the cabin. Damn, the meds can’t be wearing off already. The last dose would have knocked out an elephant. I double the next round and text Melinda. If nothing else, she’ll know how to slow these things down if any more of them hatch. There’s no way this one will survive its midnight crash into Kīlauea.

A silent nod from my captain. All systems go.

I’m ready.

 

 

 

 

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Suggestion Saturday: February 8, 2014

Here is this week’s list of blog posts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

How Fruit Juice Went From Health Food to Junk Food via StoryRoute. What I find most interesting about this article is how our notions of what is (and isn’t) healthy are influenced by trends. Yes, new research occasionally does show that certain foods are much more (or less) healthy than what we had originally believed, but a lot of it boils down to hype.

Neptune Memorial Reef – An Under Sea Cemetery. I’ve been fascinated by cemetery art and architecture for many years. Some people are amazingly creative when it comes to designing their final resting place, and the people profiled in this article are no exception to that rule.

Yellow Pills and Green Pills. It’s so hard to comment on this comic strip without inadvertently giving away the ending. All I can really say about it is that it reminds me of something my parents used to say about the downside of intelligence.

When You Can’t Be Trusted to Hurt Yourself via dorsalstream. The best line from this piece is: “Sessions are like getting your hair cut, only your hair is broken and it hurts.”

From What I Saw:

He slumped against the gym wall and slammed his head back. The act was met with a sharp reprimand from a bystanding aide. And I know what they saw.
They saw defiance. Headbanging behavior. A tantrum.
I saw a student trying to block out external input. I saw. Everyone else gawked and chattered as the other kids did the warm-ups. I stood by helplessly.
I saw a humiliated man sitting against a wall in a corner, helpless and outnumbered, with no way to communicate.

From Wendel’s Tips for Travellers via Skelemika:

What to seeThe Extravaganza of Personalities.  This is my favorite.  Admission is free, and you can stay as long as you like.  You can watch the Turning Worm grow razor sharp incisors right before your eyes (rarely after).  Or hear a Grand Tirade by King Sneer as he leans out across the Barrier of Insolence to address the crowd (sometimes spelled cowed).


If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in a fishbowl, Diary of a Stage Mother’s Daughter is the perfect book for you.

I watched occasional reruns of Little House on the Prairie as a kid, but I knew nothing about any of the child actors who illuminated Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books. Celebrity worship was never something that my family encouraged. It would be really interesting to hear from any readers who were big fans of Melissa Francis when she was young if there are any reading this post!

Melissa definitely didn’t live a charmed life, and what I liked most about her story was how completely different her actual childhood was from the image she portrayed. We rarely know what’s really going on in other people’s lives.

What have you been reading?

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After the Storm: Part Forty-Two

800px-Desert_flower_UtahJust tuning in? Start here. 

“Mariposa, we need to talk.”

The room was all but empty now. Sometimes they stuck around to socialize after less contentious meetings, but several hours of bad tempers flaring in a room far too small for the number of people crowded into it left almost no one interested in making small talk.

“Henry said something as he was walking past me. Did you hear him?”

Mariposa shook her head and she reached for her baby. Daphne stretched her arms in relief. It felt good to let her muscles relax after hours of cuddling.

“I heard him say, ‘I guess I’ll have to bury the bodies myself, then.'” The younger woman froze for a second before offering up a weak smile.

“He’s always been hot-tempered. He didn’t mean it.” One of the benefits of growing up in a community as close-knit as Peoria is that you quickly learned who was truly dangerous and who simply craved a captive audience for their temper tantrums. Mariposa was certain Henry belonged in the latter category. True, he’d always kept to himself and what family he had left had long since scattered to faraway towns, but he wasn’t dangerous. Not really.

“Are you sure? He sounded like he meant it.”

“There’s no way anyone could hide something like that in Peoria. We’re not like -” Mariposa stopped. She’d been brought up to view Mingus with a tinge of fear due to their extremely punitive social customs, but she didn’t want to offend the only living grandmother of her child. “We don’t live like that,” she finished weakly.

Her community was known for many things, not all of which were necessarily positive. But murder was most definitely not one of their collective flaws.  Daphne was just about to speak when her daughter-in-law opened her mouth again.

“Look, I know Henry can take some getting used to. He’s not the friendliest person you’ll ever meet in this life, Oma, but that doesn’t mean he’s actually killing people. He just likes to blow off some steam sometimes and shock people he hasn’t met yet.”

“That’s not what it sounded like to me. Can’t you have someone check on him?”

Mariposa sighed. Technically this wasn’t in her job description. All she really needed to do was cajole her neighbours into sharing their precious water sources and refrain from stealing livestock, spouses, or tools from one another.

“I’ll ask the sheriff to stop in on him the next time he’s sober.” Knowing the sheriff this might take a while, but it was better than nothing. Daphne nodded and started walking slowly to the exit. She could hear Rosamund stamping her feet in the courtyard. The burro had grown accustomed to these trips and knew that the humans should have untied her and headed home by now.

*****

Wilma had never quite caught up from the long, hungry summer when she first joined Daphne’s family. She was unusually short for her age and had learned to read and write much later in life than her older brother. Felix was small for his age, too, but he seemed to understand numbers and letters much more easily than his baby sister.

Every curve of the brushstroke was a triumph for the girl. When traditional teaching methods failed to take root in her mind, Daphne had been forced to find other ways to explain abstract concepts to her adopted granddaughter. More than once Daphne had wished her own grandfather had still been around. She’d forgotten much of what he’d taught her about how children learn, and she would have loved to pick his brain about some of Wilma’s more unusual challenges.

Which was part of the reason why Daphne was so surprised to see the girl hunched over the strange, silent rock when she arrived home. It had stopped working so long ago that Daphne assumed Wilma had forgotten all about it. Even if she had remembered, Daphne didn’t understand how a child who learned so slowly could figure out more about the strange object than a house full of quick-witted adults.

“r u alone?” the message read on the flat portion of the rock. It shimmered for a moment before the reply appeared.

“No, I’m travelling with my platoon. Do you still live in the flat, empty area beyond The Three Sisters?” They were left behind from a time when the ones who came before could build something many times higher than the tallest man. No one knew what they were, exactly, only that there were three of them standing in a row beside one of the roads that lead to nowhere and they weren’t made from wood or stone. To be honest, Daphne didn’t live anywhere near them other than in the sense that they shared a valley.

But they were the only landmark of Mingus. To claim you didn’t live near them was to admit that you didn’t really belong.

“Wilma, what are you doing?”

The girl looked up at her with bright, shining eyes.

“I made a friend,” came her cryptic reply. “Her name is Rey and she can’t wait to meet us for dinner.”

Daphne dug into memories she had long since ignored.

“Who is Rey?”

“She said she knew you, but she thinks you still live at your old house.”

Another memory puffed past Daphne’s vision. She wondered if her old house was still shut up tight waiting for her or if it had long since smouldered into ruins. A lot of occupied houses in Mingus had been burned to the ground when their occupants refused to cooperate with the crowds who gathered outside of them. It seemed unlikely that an abandoned one would have fared any better. This was one of many reasons why they hadn’t returned yet.

“Wilma, this is important. Have you told her where we live now?”

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January 2014 Search Engine Questions

Sometimes readers find this blog through funny or unusual search terms. Here are my responses to the ones that showed up last month. 

What are some good small talk questions to ask kids? Let them lead the conversation. My nephew loves to talk about all kinds of stuff –  war, world history, how babies are made, sports, whether or not he can have another cookie before dinner. 😀

What is the best occupational category for a creator? Writer. Artist. Painter. Sculptor. Singer. Carpenter. Cook. Baker. Storyteller. Street performer.

How to bring up deconversion to friends? I wait until it comes up naturally in conversation.

Did you eat another candy cane snake? I’ve never eaten any of them.

How can you live with the only one sister who won’t forgive the other sister? Let them sort out their own relationship. It’s not your job to fix the entire world.

Is it ok not to be like children? Yes.

Is telling the truth gossip? It depends on your intentions and to what extend it is your business. Are you finding pleasure in someone else’s misfortune or disapproving of decisions they make that aren’t actually harming anyone else? Useless gossip. Are you warning an innocent third party about someone who is known to be dangerous? Possibly ok.  Deciding if you have enough evidence to call CPS or to convince a frail, elderly relative to get outside help before someone gets seriously hurt? Go for it.

 

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No Place Like Home

Photo by Chris Evans.

Photo by Chris Evans.

There’s a difference between thinking about travelling and actually doing it.

A few years ago my husband was enamoured with the idea of travel. He spent his entire childhood in the same province and only ever lived in two different houses while growing up as far as I know. To him the idea of going somewhere new was exciting.

To me it was old hat. I moved eight times growing up, and while we only lived in three different states the act of packing up and going somewhere new happened often enough that as an adult I’m not particularly keen on repeating the experience. I like the familiarity of staying in the same place year after year, of not starting over fresh in a brand new city or town. Yes, eventually you will meet new people and know where to find the best of everything, but that kind of knowledge takes time to build.

This is one of those things that doesn’t have a right or wrong answer. It’s perfectly ok to love travelling or to loathe it, to wish to move every six months or to hope to stay in the same place for the rest of your life.

It’s been interesting to see how our opinions on the topic have shifted in the nine years we’ve been together. I’m beginning to like travelling a little more. It’s exciting to visit a new town and try something unique to that area. There is something to say for breaking out of old routines and forging new ones for what you already know is going to be a limited amount of time.

But it’s also great to go back home. The end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014 included a lot of travel for my husband and me. We enjoyed our trips, but I’m happy to be home.  Routines can be so soothing.

One of our neighbours has the friendliest dog in the world. If you so much as glance in her direction she will bounce over for as many head rubs  and ear tickles as she can squeeze out of you before it’s time to part ways. It’s impossible to meet this dog without grinning, and I am thrilled to cross her path when we meet. This is just one of the many small ways in which it feels so good to be home.

If you’ve travelled recently, I’d love to know what you missed most about wherever you call home while you were gone.

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Suggestion Saturday: February 1, 2014

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, poems, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From They Sent a Knight to Save You Once:

they sent a knight to save you once and found you curled up with the dragon crown askew, skirt singed.

Has America Progressed? This is the first time I’ve ever linked to an ESPN article on any blog I’ve ever written in my entire life because I’m not really interested in athletics. Not to mention that the types of exercise I have learned to like generally aren’t competitive enough to be featured on sports sites. But this is a fantastic essay about how far America has come in learning acceptance as well as how far they still have to go, and I think everyone – amateur athletes and otherwise – will love it as much as I did.

The Race to Save a Language  – and Its People. My grandparents generation grew up speaking German, but their descendants do not. This isn’t quite the same thing as what is discussed in the article, of course, but I do think there are a few similarities between the two. It’s interesting (and a little sad)  to see how or if a culture is preserved over the course of a few generations.

That Depends on What the Meaning of ‘Is’ is (or What Is the Definition of Person). This is the beginning of a great series by someone I’ve known online for a few years now. Click here for the second and final part of it.

The Untold Tale of Pow!, the Fourth Rice Krispie Elf. I’d never heard of this elf before. What a fun article!

Wilderness Women. This is a great essay about a competition women in Alaska (ironically) participate in when they’re looking for a husband. The pictures that accompany it are almost as good as the words themselves!

I used to love poetry, but for many years now I’ve struggled to find new collections that ignite my imagination. Our Andromeda is the first book of poetry in a long time that has reminded me of the way things used to be. I will admit to not finishing every poem in this book, but the ones that I finished I really loved. The home-like imagery in “Streetlamps” sent a shiver down my spine, and the spacefaring in”Nemesis” made me wish it was a novel instead.

What have you been reading?

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After the Storm: Part Forty-One

392px-Redon_cactus-manJust tuning in? Start here. 

The lunch break was far too short. Before Daphne knew what had happened she was back sitting on the hard bench, once again rocking the baby awake while Lemon felt asleep underneath her skirt on the floor.

The Miller case’s verdict was as expected. A community can only survive if the members work together and share their resources. Mariposa and her fellow ombudsmen could really only rule in favour for the plaintiff, as obnoxious as his complaints about his neighbour might be.

A brief silence overtook the room as the plaintiff and defendant walked out of the small, stuffy room.

“Do we have any more business for today?” asked the head ombudsman. Mariposa shook her head as Daphne’s hopes rose. They might actually get to go home early!

“I have a question,” a short, man sitting in the corner said bristly.

“Yes?” Daphne sighed as he walked to the front of the room. She didn’t recognize him but knew from experience that audience members who took that liberty also tended to be long-winded. At least Lemon could sleep through whatever was coming next.

“What are you going to do about all of the foreigners coming into Peoria?”

“Sir – ”

“There are getting to be too many of them. We’ve absorbed what we could, but we need to send the rest packing. You represent all of us and it’s your job to carry out our wishes. Now how do you plan to do that?”

“Sir, this isn’t the right –  ”

“Every month there’s a new one! You have to do something about this.”

“That’s not something we have the resources to handle,” said the man on the opposite end of the table. They barely had the authority to make their own people pay attention to their rulings. Telling strangers what to do and actually having them listen to strangers who honestly could do nothing to stop them was impossible.

“Then who in the hell does?”

“Our sheriff – ”

“He’s useless. All he does is sit around and drink.” Daphne stifled a giggle. She’d been so excited to meet the sheriff a few months after moving here as Mingus had never had a position like that before, but the man who was supposed to keep Peoria safe seemed far more interested in long naps and winking at the last dregs of his bottle before it fully emptied. It was a wonder the man could walk in a straight line, never mind do any of his other duties. And yet every time he came up for reelection he won again without a whiff of competition.

Of course, it probably helped that his father was the head of the council and had been for the past 20 years. Having a small group of experienced ombudsmen had its advantages when it came to complicated cases or questions that weren’t raised very often, but it also made it easy for a handful of families to calcify their influence on the rest of the community in ways that Daphne wasn’t convinced were entirely helpful.

“But we need support! I can’t keep everyone safe on my own.” The man’s face reddened as his temper grew more tender.

“No one is asking you to do that, Henry. But you haven’t to understand – ”

“There’s been enough understanding. We have to act now before those damn foreigners come back.” The atmosphere in the room became prickly. Well over a third of the people sitting and standing there had been born elsewhere. Peoria had become quite the popular   place to migrate into after disease and a series of battles with Mingus killed off so many of its original inhabitants. Without immigrants it was doubtful that the community would have survived the past thirty years.

The argument droned on as the baby fell back asleep. It would have been amusing to watch the ombudsmen argue with their fed-up neighbour if Daphne hadn’t been so tired of sitting on the cold, hard bench. Her tailbone ached as if she was carrying a baby inside of body instead of cradling it on her lap. Razor-sharp memories of the time she was trying to forget scraped against her skull as she adjusted her weight and stretched her feet out in the aisle. At least her ankles weren’t swollen today. It had been quite irritating to walk around without shoes when her feet became too cumbersome to fit into the only shoes she had owned back then.

“Are there any other relevant matters to discuss today?” Daphne felt the sharp edge in Mariposa’s voice cut through the restlessness in the room. Silence. Even Lemon stopped wagging his groggy tail as everyone waited for an answer to the youngest ombudsman’s question. There was no response.

“The meeting is adjourned. We will reconvene at the beginning of next month.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to bury the bodies myself, then.” The man grumbled as he paced back to his original seat to gather up his travelling cloak and water bottle.  He said it just loudly enough that Daphne heard his growl. She looked around the nearly-empty room with wide eyes. No one else seemed to react to his pronouncement. If anything, they acted like he was an invisible man.

He slid through the door with the last of the audience members as Daphne rocked the baby and waiting for Mariposa to finish the quiet conversation she was having with the head ombudsman. She must have misheard him. It was the only rational explanation for why no one else was reacting to the terrible image he’d planted into Daphne’s mind.

 

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