The Sea Cucumber

you see there was this sea cucumber and normally they don’t talk but for the sake of the story…

Last week someone typed that run-on sentence into a search engine and ended up here. 

I don’t know who you are. I probably never will. But this is what happened next:

she did.

What she didn’t have was a name. She didn’t need one to be honest. All of the other sea cucumbers recognized her from the faintly-sweet taste of her hormones floating through the water. If sea cucumbers had names her would have been Strawberry.

But I digress.

One day Strawberry spoke.To her siblings and children (although she didn’t know the word for either of those concepts) the word looked like a tiny burp floating up from the ocean floor. Unremarkable.

What she meant to say was this: “Light.” They’d all seen it. Only she had noticed it.Strawberry swallowed her last mouthful of plankton and gingerly floated up.

The light grew strong and bright. The currents were stronger in the heavens. She found herself floating away from her herd.

A shadow fell across the water. Something large scooped her up in a painfully firm grip. She couldn’t breathe. Panic.

Pbbbth.

Some of her breathing tubes spilled out into his hands.

“Ewww,” the stranger said, dropping her back into the water.

She sank.

Down.

Down.

Down.

To the edge of her colony.

Plop.

Back onto the ocean floor.

Hearts quivering.

Her lungs grew back in a few weeks.

Her courage did not.

But sometimes when she had a fully belly and a quiet circulatory system she’d stare up at the surface again, looking at that light.

And when the eggs of her eggs hatch, when the moon hangs still and bright in the sky tomorrow, next week, next months she’ll hunker down with the hatchlings and tell them of the world without water.

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Suggestion Saturday: April 14, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comics and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

A Man and His Hummingbird. Start with one injured baby hummingbird. Add a concerned human. Mix well. Serve immediately.

How to Start a Fire. This is exactly what it sounds like. I don’t know why I found it so interesting. Maybe it’s because I’ve only ever tried to build a fire once (and failed miserably)?

Don’t Hold Hands Until Marriage. I grew up in a rural, midwestern community that believed in abstinence-only sex education. The sex ed curriculum was worse than useless – it actually taught us some horrifically inaccurate things about sex and relationships. For example, we learned that condoms have holes in them large enough for HIV to pass through. We learned that men and boys are only nice until a woman or girl has sex with them; as soon as they get what they’re looking for they’ll leave you. Words like pleasure, orgasm, clitoris, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered weren’t part of the curriculum.

Now students are being taught that it’s not ok to even kiss or hug one another. When will it end?

Humanoid Cartoons. How various species of animals reproduce. Hint: it’s not always as simple as you’d assume.

What have you been reading?

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Wind Up That Yarn

Many years ago I read a fable about a boy who discovered he could fast-forward through life by pulling on the edge of a magical ball of yarn.

School is boring? Let’s jump ahead to graduation. Can’t wait to have enough money to get married? Skip to the wedding. Tired of waking up with a cranky baby every night? *poof*, that baby is now a child.

Eventually he pulls out so much yarn that he leaps to his golden years. His children are grown, he’s too old to work, his wife grows frail and dies and he is left alone with a patchy memory of the last 60+ years.

Just as he is about to give up hope, though, the old – now young – man wakes up and realizes it was all a dream. He solemnly swears to savour every stage of life and goes off to visit his sweetheart. I was all of eight years old at the time and even I knew that was an exceedingly poor poor way to end the story. 😉

Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. It’s very easy to gloss over the difficulties in life, though. Would it be great to have the boundless energy of childhood again? Yes! Do I want my parents to tell me what to eat, which television shows I’m allowed to watch and when to go to bed? Not in the least.

That story should have ended with Thomas (the name I’ve assigned to the old man – I’ve forgotten what he was originally called) either figuring out a way to wind the ball of yarn up again or dying peacefully, the last scene of the story showing someone new stumbling across this  mysterious ball of yarn.

 

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Suggestion Saturday: April 7, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

I’ll Protect You. Had a long week? Click here for a virtual hug.

When Online Friends Aren’t the Same In Person.  Funny!

From Could Imposter Syndrome Learn from Sports? 

And while these tales of achievement and shining sources of confidence may be inspiring, they are also intimidating. They make us think we can never live up to what the successful among us have done. That we will never be enough. From where we sit, it looks like these people never saw failure in their lives. Oh, we know intellectually that it must be there. But we never, ever see it.

Friday the 13th: A Ghost Story. If only this was true. It could be like a modern-day version of A Christmas Carol.

Great Expectations – Musings of a Soon-to-be Wife. This blogger has some interesting ideas about what should (and should not) keep a marriage together. My parents have been happily married for 30 years, my grandparents for 50+.  I only have six years tucked under my belt so far so I don’t think I’m qualified to answer this question yet. Maybe those of you with more experience can chime in? 😀

The Toronto Public Library ended their strike last week! It’s nice to have new books again. This week’s recommendation is If I Stay. Seventeen year old Mia has just barely survived a horrific car accident. As the doctors and nurses fight to keep her comatose body alive Mia observes them and tries to decide if she should fight to live or slip away into the next world.

What have you been reading?

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Wild Card Wednesday: How Far You Go In Life

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong…because sometime in your life you will have been all of these.

George Washington Carver

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Three Questions About Earth Hour

This past Saturday millions of men, women and children turned off the lights to observe something called Earth Hour.

I first heard about this phenomenon a few years ago. It’s a nobel idea but I have a few questions about how it works:

1) Why are we focusing on what individuals consume when most waste is created by structural inefficiencies and large corporations? Recycling one glass bottle or turning off that light is meaningless if you don’t overhaul the system. It isn’t easy to change public policy, of course, and it isn’t something one does by sitting in the dark for an hour…but it’s the only way anything is actually going to improve.

2) Is technology evil? I find it kind of odd that Earth Hour is about not using technology. A lightbulb (or any other manmade item) is just a tool. Yes, they can be misused but they aren’t inherently “bad”…or “good”! It all depends on how you use them.

3) Is environmentalism a religion? Ok, so this question is a little facetious. It is odd to see so much attention paid to what one does for one hour once a year, though. How do you bridge the gap between that ritual – however meaningful it may be for those who participate –  and what people do the other 8759-8783 hours of the year?

Respond

Did you participate in Earth Hour this year? What do you think of my questions?

 

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Suggestion Saturday: March 31, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comics, twitter feeds, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

I’ve never done this before on Suggestion Saturday but if you have a Twitter account go follow @vulgar_tongue. They tweet entries from the 1811 edition of Francis Grose’s Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, a directory to English slang from 200 years ago.

And here’s something else I’ve never done.  Click here if you want the AgeAnalyzer to guess your age based on what you write on your blog:

The AgeAnalyzer thinks http://www.on-the-other-hand.com is written by someone 36-50 years old.

I wonder why it thinks I’m at least a decade older than my actual age? 🙂

Mutually (un)Intelligible. A short video of two birds talking about…something.

I Hope Barack Obama. This is a blog full of people wishing good things for President Obama. You can submit your own wish for him or just read through it. I hope this becomes a meme. It feels so much better to bless others than to curse them. (Thanks for the link, Undercover Nun!)

From An Open Letter to My Muse:

But, here’s the thing. I show up everyday. Every single day. I’m here while I’m working and I’m here on my days off. I’m here when I feel like it and I’m here when I don’t. I’m here whether I have the time or not. Because I treat this thing seriously.

I really wish you’d show up more often. Because I feel like I’m doing my part.

 

(Comic via AsboJesus.)

The employees of the Toronto Public Library have been on strike for the past few weeks so my access to new books has been slim. What have you been reading?

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Iraqi Woman Murdered in California

[Shaima] Alawadi, a mother of five, had been hospitalized since her 17-year-old daughter found her unconscious Wednesday in the family’s house in El Cajon, police Lt. Steve Shakowski said.

The daughter, Fatima Al Himidi, told KUSI-TV her mother had been beaten on the head repeatedly with a tire iron, and that the note said “go back to your country, you terrorist.”

Rest of the article.

There aren’t enough words in the English language to express my sorrow over this.

I wish I had something profound to say. I don’t.

I just read this article over and over again trying understand how anyone could do this to another human being.

 

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A Response to Picking Up the Best Bits

Photo by Joe Ravi, license CC-BY-SA 3.0.

Olivia at Reading in the Bath recently had something interesting to say about her experiences with online childfree groups:

So one of the things I’ve enjoyed about sticking around in a few different groups for a while and getting past all the (to me) slightly awkward ‘I like children…with sauce’ jokes, is that I’ve found there are many other people who don’t come from a place of hatred or hostility either.

To be honest my sexual orientation and non-theism tend to surprise others much more often than my decision not to have children.

But there are certain similarities between being childfree and being part of other minority groups or subcultures.  Answering the same questions over and over again grows repetitive and there are times when I wonder, “why is s/he so focused on this one issue instead of everything else we have in common?”

This is where it really helps to have relationships with other people who are also members of group X and grok why I’m so frustrated (or confused, thrilled, or irritated!)

Just like Olivia says, though, sometimes you have to filter the wheat from the chaff. I’m not an angry person and I don’t dwell on the offensive stuff other people say or do.  These things happen.

Angry people aren’t the majority, though. From what I’ve seen for every person looking for a reason to be offended there are two or three who just want to live in peace. The problem is that when the media or the rest of society notices group X they tend to seek out the most controversial, outspoken member they can find. It’s good for ratings and page views and, to be honest, the rest of us are often not as interested in outside attention.

And so the rest of the world continues to assume the worst about group X while those of us who are actually living it roll our eyes and continue on with our daily lives.

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Suggestion Saturday: March 24, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Discrimination Against the Long-Term Unemployed. Sad.

What Makes Sex Good? So it’s spring and once again street preachers are asking strangers what I consider extremely personal questions. Not everyone considers the topic of religion to be a private matter, of course, but I’ve often wondered how they would react if I started asking them  for a detailed description of their sex lives. Would they realize I was making a point about the (in)appropriateness of certain topics when meeting someone new? Eh, probably not. 😉

Lady Magazine. To be honest these kind of magazines all but satirize themselves. It’s still a funny picture, though.

The Red Ball Project. Because our world needs more whimsy.

President Obama On Trayvon Martin’s death (if you haven’t heard of Trayvon Martin the link does explains his death in more detail):

My main message is to the parents of Trayvon Martin. You know, if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon. And you know, I think they are right to expect that all of us as Americans are going to take this with the seriousness it deserves and that we’re get to the bottom of exactly what happened.

Interesting speech:

What have you been reading?

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