Forgotten Heroes: Josephine Butler

I’m starting a new series of posts here at On the Other Hand about extraordinary men and women who are (probably) not remembered by the average person. Yes, the drawing on the left is of a young Josephine Butler!

History buffs, if you know of a forgotten hero who should be included in this series let me know about him or her via the contact form

Time: The mid 1860s- early 1900s.

Place: Liverpool, England.

What might your life have been like if you were born poor and female 150 years ago in England?

The jobs available to women of your station in this period were limited and paid pitifully. There was no welfare, no unemployment, no medicaid or medicare for people too old or ill to care for themselves. There were workhouses and other charitable organizations for the indigent but the conditions in them were, in many cases, horrific. Many people avoided these forms of assistance unless they had no other option.

You’re a pregnant 15 year old scullery maid whose middle-aged employer has been interfering with you for six months. When you begin to show you’re cast out of his home. No other home will hire you without a letter of recommendation so you begin to work as a prostitute to avoid starvation.

You’re a 12 year old girl who was snatched off the street while walking home from an errand and subjected to a humiliating, painful gynaecological exam to prove that you don’t have a venereal disease. Thanks to Contagious Diseases Act this was perfectly legal and could be done to any woman suspected of being a prostitute.

You’re a twenty-four year old woman who has just been raped. It is, of course, your fault. The man who attacked you would never have been provoked had you been a decent woman.

An embryonic feminism has just begun to address the deep social, legal, financial, religious and other inequities between men and women but so far the vast majority of early feminists were focused on the lives of women from wealthy families. A few have recently begun to work with poor, fallen women but it always with the sense that you somehow deserved or wanted what happened to you.

And then you hear about a woman named Josephine Butler who invites former prostitutes to live with her, her husband and their three teenage sons, an unthinkable act at a time where women from Josephine’s station weren’t even suppose to know about the types of human misery she encountered in her work every day.

Sick women who succumb to their illnesses are buried in alongside Josephine’s niece in a private cemetery. Women who recover or who were never physically ill are taught a new trade.

Josephine doesn’t stop there. In 1886 her decades-long effort to repeal the Contagious Diseases Act was finally brought to fruition. The year before she successfully lobbied to raise the age of consent from 13 to 16 to help protect young girls who were being forced into prostitution.

Simply put, Josephine Butler was instrumental in the earliest struggles against the institutionalized discrimination of women and the poor despite a lifetime of poor health, multiple family tragedies and a prevailing culture that was anything but understanding of her values.  I wish I had been born a hundred years earlier so I could have met this incredible human being in person.

Interested in reading more about her? Click here.

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Suggestion Saturday: July 23, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, poems, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Peanuts on Theology. Other titles Snoopy should write: What if I Am Wrong?, How to Discuss Theology Without Irritating People Who Don’t Share Your Beliefs.

Untitled. I’ve posted similar charts on unproductive worrying on Suggestion Saturday in the past but this message bears repeating.

Your Limbs Will Be Torn Off in a Farm Accident. Despite the unsettling title this is the best poem about adapting to (and even thriving in) new circumstances that I’ve ever read. Thank you to my friend Liz for sharing it!

Unto the Third and Fourth Generations. Before you read this imagine the worst and best case scenarios for how we will live in 2031. Now go see what this author thinks it could be like!

First World Problems. An amusing rap song about the myriad of problems facing people in first world countries.

This week I thoroughly enjoyed Ursula K. LeGuin’s The Lathe of Heaven. It tells the story of a man whose dreams change reality. When he awakens the change may be as subtle as a different style of painting hanging in a room or as formidable as the disappearance of billions of humans.

What have you been reading?

 

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What a Heat Wave Taught Me About Gratitude

Several days ago the air conditioner broke in the house Drew and I are staying in. By Monday afternoon the combination of high temperatures and humidity made it feel like I was inhaling warm, bland soup instead of air. The combination of smog, a heat wave and being exposed to more outdoor allergens due to windows being left opened at night irritated my lungs and I broke into a long coughing fit after running to catch a bus.

To be honest I was not terribly patient or easygoing this week. Feeling hot and short of breath day after day wears on a person after a while. It’s embarrassing to admit this but before this week I’d never really thought about what it would be like to coast through a heat wave (much less an entire summer) without having home air conditioning even though the vast majority of the people on this planet do exactly this.

Today has been forecasted to be the hottest, most humid day of the week. We weren’t expecting the repair person to arrive until today but an unexpected cancellation yesterday lead to it being repaired sooner than expected.

That first breathe of cold air was delicious. Every so often I take a deep breathe and marvel at how much oxygen my lungs can hold. Before this week I took air conditioning for granted. I won’t be assuming it will always be around again in the near future. Every blast of cool air is a gift.

Respond

For what are you grateful for today? Have you recently realized you were taking anything for granted?

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Beauty in Three Ordinary Things

Most of the time we glide past ordinary objects without thinking about what it is we’re experiencing. There’s nothing wrong with doing this.  Few people can focus intensely on everything around them all of the time.

Last week I stumbled across some magnified photographs of sand. This is what grits between your toes and stubbornly clings to your towel at the beach. Amazing.

Your challenge today is to pay attention.

Kneel down.

Look up.

Back away.

Peer closer.

Sometimes beauty pops out at us right away, at other times it comes in unexpected packages: edges worn smooth, weeping rust, flaky paint, a shaggy dog panting in the shade.

This is what I’ve seen over the last year. What do you see in your environment?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Suggestion Saturday: July 16, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Everyone Is Born With a Missing Piece. This is a fantastic twist on the marketing of philosophies, religions and physical objects meant to make one feel whole.

Pointless. I’ve had similar thoughts about Facebook. While it can be a good way to keep in touch with family and friends who live far away there is also a fair amount of proselytization and arguing for the sake of arguing. On the bright side, it’s much easier to side step these issues online than it is in person!

From The Ease of Dehumanizing Strangers:

Can you honestly say that you have never done something unintentionally idiotic or rude? Maybe you were distracted. Maybe you just got some bad news and were upset. Maybe you were in a rush to get somewhere. No matter what it is, we usually find a way to justify our actions, to explain it away. We do the same when a family member or friend does something foolish or mean. We know there are extenuating circumstances.

Secrets of Adulthood. What has adulthood taught you? I would add this quote: “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good & how he treats people who can’t fight back.”- Abigail Van Buren. For better or for worse I learn quite a bit about those I spend time with by how they treat, say, store clerks, servers or homeless people. People who are consistently dismissive and rude in those situations tend not to be invited out again.

This made me smile:

What have you been reading?

 

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Just One More Step: Motivation for the Unmotivated

Over the last six months Drew and I have have lived at three different addresses. That is quite a bit of change for someone who prefers a predictable routine! (Photo credit – Ozizo.)

In some ways our lives are like this photo. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know this stage won’t last forever but I still feel the gritty edge of transition scraping against my shoulder blades.

In some ways seeing the light is worse than being surrounded by darkness. It’s easy to grow impatient when you’re so close to the end. More than anything I want to stumble through that lambent light into whatever it is we will be doing next.

In the meantime I poke my foot out and carefully take just one more step.  Just one more job application. Just one more revision of a short story or blog post. Just one more idea to sketch out.

Each day only requires enough motivation for that next step toward what I hope to accomplish. An entire week’s or month’s worth of goals is overwhelming so I focus only on what can be done today. There’s something motivating about distilling a long term goal into such simple terms.

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Wild Card Wednesday: Summer 2011 Blogs

Are you looking for some new blogs to follow? In no particular order here is a list of fantastic ones I discovered over the last several months:

Grief Beyond Belief. A support group for non-religious people who are grieving the death of a loved one.

Tiny Buddha. Simple, often Buddhist-inspired wisdom. It is the only blog I’ve ever come across that urges people to only read what they need!

Daphne’s Haiku. My friend Daphne posts a new Haiku every day. Some are playful, others profound.

Microprogressions. A record of all of the ways in which our world is growing less prejudiced and hateful over time. I especially appreciate how much it relies on reader submissions for new posts.

Color Me Katie. The most whimsical, joyful blog I’ve ever read. When I have a bad day I read through the archives for a mood boost.

Castles in the Air. I don’t always agree with what Nina has to say about minimalism but she definitely gives me food for thought.

Unplugged Sunday. The challenge: set aside one day a week to unplug from your computer, cellphone, television and other technology and spend time in nature with your loved ones. Each post discusses various activities that the authors have tried with their families.

Respond

What great sites have you come across recently?

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What Would You Ask Your Ancestors?

 

What will we say to our children
when we discover we were wrong?

– HK Stewart, Heated Conversation.

We might say things like:

  • It seemed too horrible to be true.
  • I didn’t think it would happen so quickly.
  • Denial is a powerful defense mechanism.
  • I didn’t think I could make a difference.
  • No one I knew was worried about it.
  • I thought we’d come up with a solution in the nick of time.

The history section is one of my favourite places to browse at a bookstore or library. This wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed studying in school but as an adult I’ve grown to appreciate it.

Certain chapters of our past make me wish I could go back in time and ask the people involved with them a few questions. How often did, say, people who worked in the earliest stages of the eugenics movement or the creation of Indian residential schools realize the damage they were inflicting on others?

As valuable as books, letters, journals and other documents are when learning about events that happened two or six or twenty generations ago they can’t tell us everything.

Respond

What questions would you ask if you could speak to someone from a former generation?

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Suggestion Saturday: July 9, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, poems, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The Perfect Life Myth. Also known as: you can have it all but you cannot have it all at once.

Goodbyes. The problem with saying goodbye. I’ve never liked saying it whether the separation is for now or forever.

The World of Seven Billion. Wow, apparently earning $12,196 or more per year earns you the label high income level. One day I hope to see the cost of living for each society taken into account for this sort of thing. Yes, $12,196 is a larger number than, say, $995 but a family of four in a western country like the US or Canada would be extremely hard-pressed to survive on that amount of money for a year.

Solve. Don’t complain, go out and do something to fix the world.

Online Meditation Timer. I haven’t meditated regularly in a long time but this is prompting me to get back into the habit. Being disconnected from time was one of (many) reasons why I haven’t kept this habit up and a timer is a good way to ease into stilling my mind. If you try this time let me know what you think in the comment section!

What have you been reading? I haven’t read any books worth recommending this week but I do like this quote:

When people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past. ~Austin Kleon

 

 

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Family Is

Over the last half decade I’ve been running into more and more organizations who co-opt the term family to describe how they hope people feel about being part of them.

Is it possible for members of a workplace, religious or community group, or neighbourhood to grow this close? Absolutely. The vast majority of the time this does not happen, though, and it seems insincere and vaguely Newspeak-y to act otherwise.

Your idea of the term family may not line up with my examples of how one functions. I know people who assembled a chosen family after being cut off from their biological one and others who draw a bright, red line between those they are related to through blood, marriage and adoption and everyone else in the world. That’s ok.

Family Is

  • Genuinely wanting the best for someone.
  • Knowing about a loved ones medical, religious or ethical diet restrictions and making sure they have more than enough to eat when they come to visit.
  • Adopted. Biological. Foster. Step. Once removed. Chosen.
  • Helping someone move in the middle of winter.
  • Mutual unconditional love and acceptance.
  • Holding the fussy baby so a new parent can finally shower and grab a bite to eat.
  • Being thrilled when a loved one lands the perfect job or introduces you to their new significant other.
  • Slogging through the grief together after a death.
  • Saying, “come sleep in my spare room until you get back on your feet!”
  • A soft place to fall.

It cannot be compelled into existence. Deciding that an organization or group is a family because you like the sound of the word or want people to remain loyal to the group is about as effective as writing down the name of your favourite extinct animal on a piece of paper, taping it to a cat and then calling the local zoo to ask what they would recommend feeding a [brontosaurus, mammoth, dodo, golden toad, etc.].

I propose that organizations who want to emphasize how well they treat their members or how close everyone is either make up a new word or dust off and re-imagine old terms like horde, sodality or coterie.

Respond

What do you think of organizations who refer to their members as a family? Do you agree with my alternatives to that word?

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