Hosted by Long and Short Reviews.
Click here to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and here to see the full list of topics for the year.
Just so you all know, I’ve been having trouble leaving comments on some WordPress blogs recently. They ask me to log in even though I’m already logged in, and then when I leave my comment it never appears on the post. If I don’t comment on your post, I am not ignoring you.
Now onto today’s topic.
I wish I were better at starting and keeping conversations going with people I’ve either just met or don’t know much about.
As someone who is shy and introverted with a splash of social anxiety to add another layer of difficulty to it all, I still do not always know what to say to enrich a conversation.
I worry about accidentally hurting someone’s feelings by mentioning something that is a sensitive topic for them.
If I’m talking to someone I already know, I can easily steer the conversation away from topics I know are tricky for them and to things I know will make their faces light up with joy.
With a stranger or acquaintance, you can’t possibly know in advance where all of their sore spots are even if you try to avoid the most obvious topics that should be handled delicately if at all.
I’m also uninterested in stuff like sports, fashion, or celebrity gossip that many people use as icebreakers. So you can ask me about that sportsball game or which actors are secretly dating if you wish to…but I won’t have a solitary clue what you’re talking about and so will just be smiling and nodding along without anything new to add to whatever just happened.
This is something I’ve gradually gotten better at over the years, but it’s still not easy for me to come up with general interest topics that are inoffensive and interesting but that I also know enough about to keep talking about.
Thank goodness for books is all I can say. Without them and the interesting ideas they contain, whether they’re science facts or cool plot twists in fictional tales, I truly would be permanently stumped.
I love this post, Lydia. We are so similar. I also worry about accidentally hurting someone’s feelings or upsetting them. I’m so introverted that I’m practically inside out.
And on the other end of the spectrum are people will start making jokes about politics without the slightest hint of where their interlocutor stands!
Very true!
We have a lot in common for sure! I love that analogy for how introverted you are and think I’m in the same way.
I do my best to let the other person lead the way in small talk, which is great if they don’t have the same issue. 😂
Heh, for sure.
Have we just started an introvert meetup? 😆 Introvert here too. I try to follow the rule “to be interesting, be interested” so I ask questions if I can,
then try and identify interests. People usually love talking about their interests… I certainly do myself 🫣
Yes, I think we have. Ha!
And, yeah, that’s a great way to keep a conversation going.
It is so tough to strike up conversations, so I totally get it. I’m a much better writer than speaker.
I’m glad you get it!
I know how you feel, Lydia. I’m not good at conversations with new people either.
Thank you. I feel better now. 🙂