Wild Card Wednesday: Mixed Metaphors

Photo by Kanko.

So last Saturday I posted a link to this article about terrible sex scenes in modern novels.

In response my friend Zora wrote this hilarious satire. My favourite section is as follows:

She looked at him with eyes as moist as huevos rancheros, and the tiny pink bud of her lips was like a perfectly formed rose on the top of a birthday cake, artfully sculpted, reminding him of his birthday candle which he imagined her blowing out, wondering what her secret wish might be.  Her body was full and soft like a ripe peach, and her perfectly round breasts bounced languidly like buoys on the surface of a calm sea.  The look on her face was one of the most intense desire, and sensing the fire in her loins, he leaned down to that sweet furnace and lit a cigarette.

Click on the link above for the entire story. Need I say it’s NSFW? Well, unless you write or publish these kinds of stories for a living. 😉

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