I really don’t like wearing it but I have to do it…
she said with a soft sigh. Somehow the conversation had tumbled into all of the stuff women do to look presentable – high heels, makeup, shaving.
What I wanted to say:
So stop wearing it! It’s your body, your decision. Why waste your time and money on something that you dislike so much? Most people will never notice a thing and anyone whose opinion of you is changed by something so petty doesn’t deserve to be part of your life in the first place.
What I actually said:
We haven’t known one another for very long. It felt weird to tell her what I thought she should be doing instead. What works for one person may fail miserably for another.
And it was hard to think of a spur-of-the-moment way to say that some of us don’t bother with any of that stuff without sounding like a sharp-tongued street preacher I saw last year who yelled at a woman for daring to walk past him while wearing a skirt he thought was too short.
Maybe someday our conversations will circle around to this topic again and she’ll ask me questions about my life. If that happens I’ll answer them happily.
In the meantime, though, I am not a guru. Neither are you.
how do you get away with it? By just doing it. But respect where others are coming from…even if their reasons are circular.