Cat Identity Theft and Other Misunderstandings

Earlier this week while walking down the street I noticed an odd advertisement on the side of a truck.

Cat Identity Theft

Is what I thought I read.

Toronto is an extremely diverse city.  No matter what your hobby, belief, or identity is, there is almost guaranteed to be at least one business or activity group catering specifically to your subculture. Most likely there will be dozens of places to find likeminded people if it’s something that has ever known even the slightest whiff of recognition by mainstream society.

Most Torontonians seem to be politely uninterested in other people’s predilections – regardless of what they are –  as long as no one is being harmed against their own will or waking up the neighbours. It’s one of the reasons why I love living in this city so much.

Photo by SanGatiche.
Photo by SanGatiche.

But Cat Identity Theft? That’s a new one even for us.

What possible reward could there be for the average human in replacing one cat with another one? The cats would probably find it stressful, and it’s not like you can trust one of them to hack a computer password or rifle through bank documents to see what their humans have been purchasing.

A small camera or other recording device embedded into a cat’s collar might work if you were willing to wait a long time for it to land on the right surface. You’d most likely end up with hours of footage of sunlight slowly creeping across the room as the cat dozed.

I’m no investigator, but this plan sure seemed like it was full of holes to me.

So of course I had to look again. Most likely I’d misread the sign, but if it was real I wanted to google their website.

What did it actually say?

Cut Identity Theft. 

Yes, it made much more sense, but there was a small part of me that was sad to see such a profound lack of cats in their logo. It makes me want to write a short story about my much more interesting interpretation of how this company operates.

How about you? What have you misread or misheard recently?

4 Responses to Cat Identity Theft and Other Misunderstandings

  1. Oh my gosh love this! Have you heard that song thats been on the radio lately with the line “Why you gotta be so rude? Don’t you know I’m human too.” I kept thinking it said “Why you gotta be so ride? Cooking up human food.” and I thought it was a terrible deranged song. Thankfully kids filled me in on the proper lyrics before I sang it in front of anyone.