Author Archives: lydias

About lydias

I'm a sci-fi writer who loves lifting weights and hates eating Brussels sprouts.

Dear Buddha…

Photo by ShakataGaNai.

Photo by ShakataGaNai.

Originally posted on August 5, 2010. Rewritten and revised for Thanksgiving 2013.

A half dozen Thanksgivings ago Drew’s mother, a devout Christian, asked him to lead the family in prayer before we ate. We all bowed our heads and he began to pray,

“Dear Buddha, please bless this food….” 

His sisters and I failed to stop laughing before their parents opened their eyes again. It’s been about six years since his side of the family accidentally prayed to Buddha, and they still haven’t asked Drew to fulfill that particular duty again. 😉

 

Neither Drew nor I are Buddhist and I don’t know why he picked Buddha that night. He has always been honest about his convictions with everyone he meets, though, which often leads an ebb and flow of discussions about faith, philosophy and other topics over dinner. One of the things I really admire about him is how eager he is to discuss these things with anyone willing to join the discussion.

I prefer to stay out of debates. Instead I reveal my beliefs and identities over time as they pop up in conversation. If a certain topic happens to come up in our first conversation, great! If not, no worries.

This isn’t about hiding anything…I’m just much more comfortable letting people figure me out over time rather than handing them the official list of Things You Didn’t Know About Me ™ the first time we meet. Many of us, myself included, carry around strange, preconceived notions about certain groups, especially if they haven’t known very many people from that group before. It’s  easier to dislodge some of these ideas if others know you as an individual before they figure you that you’re also [fill-in-the-blank ].

Respond

What has been your most memorable experience at a family gathering so far? What topics do you hope to avoid this Thanksgiving?

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November 2013 Search Engine Questions

Sometimes readers find this blog with unusual search terms and questions. Here are my responses to the ones that showed up this month.

Wyoming heat wave. I remember wishing for air conditioning a handful of times in the four years my family lived in Wyoming. In general summer weather is warm and beautiful in Wyoming, though.

Why don’t doctors wear makeup? Some folks don’t like it.

Prince ōkuninushi. To the best of my knowledge I’ve never mentioned this man on my blog, yet searching for him leads people here anyway.

How hard it is not celebrating Christmas? Christmas is mostly for kids, so as a childfree adult I’m happy to treat it like any other day. Well, other than buying soy eggnog. That stuff is delicious.

Does anyone know what the name Bruxy means? Not as far as I can tell.

What are the risks of multi-gender bathrooms? Waiting in line for a shorter amount of time.

How does “The Reason I Jump” end? The final entry is unusually poignant. Naoki has come to some surprising conclusions about human society based on how we treat our most vulnerable members. It brought a tear to my eye, but what really sealed my interest in this book was what happens next. Just before his entry ends Naoki describes an alarming condition that has recently popped up all over the globe. Those who suffer from it develop cataracts and cold, grey skin, are highly aggressive, have no visible reaction to even severe injuries or pain, and seem to have an insatiable need to consume human flesh. There are rumours claiming victims die before somehow reanimating, but the local newscasters assures everyone this isn’t scientifically possible.

Governments all around the world have begun temporarily shutting down schools, public transit, shopping malls, movie theatres, and all other non-essential businesses. Civilians have been strongly urged to stay in their homes until further notice. The last thing Naoki notes in his journal before abandoning it is that some of the afflicted have broken police barricades and are slowly shuffling toward the elementary school.

Or, you know, you could read it for yourself instead of expecting Internet strangers to either spoil it for everyone or tell you a tall tale.  😉

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After the Storm: Part Thirty-Three

Photo by Wolfgang Sauber.

Photo by Wolfgang Sauber.

Just tuning in? Start here.

The strange contraption continued to beep at regular intervals. Once again Daphne was glad she had insisted her sons know how to read as both Isaac and Ephraim took turns attempting to decipher the strange messages. It would have been exhausting to figure it out herself day after day, especially when half of the words were gibberish. Internet. Survey. Sale. Aluminum. Biosphere. Election. Daphne had never heard of any of them.

Reports of the strange disease slowly became more frequent on the unofficial channels, although no one noted any additional mentions in the daily briefs that came from higher up the organizational chain. Instead there were birth announcements, jokes, and references to games Daphne had never heard of before.

“It’s like they’re a nation of children,” she said with a wry grin after reading yet another description of one of the games the strangers took so seriously. It was one thing to kick or throw a ball around as a child, but she’d never heard of adults taking such a thing so seriously before. She wondered if they also still believed that the Tooth Fairy would steal them away to the underworld if they forgot to leave her their baby teeth the night after each one dropped out. Daphne had secretly enjoyed frightening her sons with that story, especially once they grew old enough to ask her logical questions about what faeries did with teeth and how they lived in black, cold caves without any food, heat, or light.

The next week was oddly quiet. Esther Penn never made it to her next visit, and when Daphne asked Ephraim to quietly scout the surrounding area to see if any soldiers were passing by he returned with nothing to report day after day. It was almost as if they’d disappeared from the face of the earth, although Daphne knew it was just as possible that they’d altered their routines once again. The visitors were nothing if not inconsistent.

It was just as well. Their food stores had just run out, and the herbs Daphne had dried for tea were nearly gone as well. The hollow time of year required all of one’s attention.

For a moment Daphne considered eating the mule, but her deep aversion to red meat and every step of the butchering process as well as her complete inability to replace the animal if anyone found out where it had been taken made her pause. They’d buried the body deeply enough that it was unlikely ever to be discovered, but the penalty for stealing such a valuable creature was enormous. Daphne soon let the mule wander around the property instead and started wondering if she should give the creature a name. She ate anything she could find, which at this time of year wasn’t much, and other than Lemon there was nothing the mule encountered that she found particularly interesting or terrifying. None of these traits immediately pointed to a name for the strange creature. Perhaps it would come with time.

Daphne had forgotten how often children needed to eat, but autumn was nearly here. Surely they could all find something else to fill their bellies soon. Wilma and Felix quickly made their displeasure known when they realized that even their one reliable meal of the day had dried up. Daphne tried to get them to fill up on weak tea, but neither child was interested in the taste of any of the herbs she still had in her pantry. In desperation Daphne mixed several of them together into a kind of cold soup for the children.

“This smells like medicine,” Felix said, wrinkling his nose.

“That’s because it’s only for grownups,” Ephraim said as he slid the bowl away from the boy who had picked it up. Felix watched warily as Ephraim’s lips touched the water and he pretended to drink.  “You wouldn’t like it anyway.” The boy wasn’t entirely convinced, but an hour later when Daphne offered him another batch of medicine soup he at least was willing to swallow a few gulps of it.

Since their return Paige had slowly stopped interjecting herself into the decisions Daphne made about their everyday lives. She still followed Daphne from the kitchen to the bedroom, but she left the childcare and discipline up to the younger members of the household. Sometimes Paige stared off into the corner, and once when she didn’t realize anyone was watching Daphne caught her silently mouthing something to the cobwebs.

“Lemon, come with me,” Isaac said. The lethargic dog lifted his head and whined. “I know you hate this, mom, but we’re going to see if Lemon can catch any rabbits. I’ll keep an eye out for edible plants, too.” Ephraim nodded and stood to join his brother.

Daphne felt old arguments bubble up in her chest, but each one popped before it reached her lips. At this time of year it was unlikely they’d catch or gather anything. Her more traditional son didn’t see the point in sitting around doing nothing when the food ran out. At least a rabbit would fill them up for one meal, and it would give the boys something constructive to do in the meantime.

Flavoured tea was a temporary distraction from their hunger, but Daphne knew it wouldn’t last for long. After her sons left for the hunt she invited the children to sit on her bed as she told them old stories about an impossibly strong hero who travelled from another world to save this one. Like Felix and Wilma he had been raised by people who weren’t his biological relatives, but unlike them he grew up knowing virtually nothing about where he came from or why certain rocks made him feel so weak.

It was such a good tale that Daphne didn’t register the crunch of boots in her front yard or the low murmur of voices until moments after someone began quietly wiggling her front doorknob.

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Delayed Post

Part thirty-three of After the Storm is taking longer than I anticipated to finish up. It will be posted tomorrow. My apologies for the delay.

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Suggestion Saturday: November 23, 2013

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, Q&As, short stories,  and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

I know this post is longer than normal, but I couldn’t bear pushing anything to the end of the month. My readers need all of these excellent links this weekend!

Polly Answers Your Questions via Brucegerencser. Bruce finally convinced his wife, Polly, to answer some reader questions. I hope this will become a regular column on his blog. It’s so interesting to hear things from her point of view. A lot of marriages wouldn’t have survived all of the transitions these two have weathered.

Bubble on a Mud Puddle via JexShinigami. An imaginative short story that I can’t say anything else about without risking spoilers.

Do You Need to Eat That? I really dislike it when one person criticizes what someone else is (or isn’t) eating. This article provides a long list of ways to handle obnoxious behaviour like this without telling the reader that there’s only one right answer here. In the past I’ve ignored these comments, but I’m seriously thinking about switching up my responses in the near future.

Interview with Alara Branwen. Alara is the author of a series of short stories about romantic interludes between dinosaurs and prehistoric women. In this interview she describes how she stumbled upon this highly unusual niche and why she finds it so interesting. No, this isn’t satire or a trick of some sort. She honestly does write dinosaur romances. What I find really interesting is how comfortable Alara is with the  campy-ness of her stories. I can think of a lot of other creative folks whose work would be much better if they publicly acknowledged that sometimes they create stuff that’s kind of silly.

He Was Arrested 20 Times for This…but I Think It’s Totally Worth It! via KenKaminesky. I have no reason to believe in ghosts, but I’ve been intrigued by abandoned buildings for a long time. There’s something sad and slightly bittersweet about walking through or past a building that was once filled with people. It’s even worse with houses because I imagine all of the triumphs and tragedies of daily life brushing against those walls over the years. And now all they hear is silence.

She Deserved My Undeterred Love. One of the most powerful things I’ve read in 2013. Possibly NSFW.

From Pernicious Hope:

The work of psychotherapy is often to chase down Pernicious Hope in all its daemonic and slippery aspects. To capture it, examine it, to challenge and question its true mission, to find out which god this Hope actually obeys.

To exorcise it.

From Naked Joe:

One hundred years ago, Joe Knowles stripped down to his jockstrap, said goodbye to civilization, and marched off into the woods to prove his survival skills. He was the reality star of his day. For eight weeks, rapt readers followed his adventures in the Boston Post, for whom he was filing stories on birch bark. When he finally staggered out of the wild, looking like a holdover from the Stone Age, he returned home to a hero’s welcome. That’s when things got interesting.


Did you know that sugar was once used as a medicine? Sweet Tooth delves into the history and sociology of candy. With the holiday season quickly approaching most of us are going to be surrounded by sugar for the next six weeks or so.  As much fun as it is to eat it, I found even more pleasure in learning how generations past made, ate, and thought about sweets.

History isn’t only about war, religion, and disease. You can learn a lot about a culture based on their attitudes on mundane, everyday experiences like buying sugared medicine for sick loved one or picking out treats for your kids.

The only thing I didn’t like about this book was the author’s memories of the candy she ate as a child because it was a little repetitive. It would have been more interesting to hear stories from people who came from a wide range of ages and backgrounds. Some families have a constant supply of candy around, others never allow their children to eat it. And even what is considered good candy varies quite a bit based on the culture and class you grew up in.

What have you been reading?

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I’m Happy to Visit, but I Don’t Want to Stay

800px-Pink_BowA while back Drew and I were talking about weekend plans. The thing we were planning on doing required much more travel time than we normally commit to on weekends, and as we discussed it I felt my stomach tense up. I really didn’t want to tie up an entire day with this particular get-together. It’s the sort of event that can be over in 15 minutes or stretched out for hours, and right now I’m at a place in life where I really don’t like spending so much extra time on something that can be wrapped up quickly.

But I also don’t want to disappoint anyone. I simply had and have a strong preference for spending our days together in other ways. There was a time in my life when I would have quietly gone along with the flow even though I really didn’t like it.

I’m very slowly changing, though.

Instead of agreeing to spend an indeterminate amount of time on it, I said, “I’m happy to visit, but I don’t want to stay as long as we did last time.” And then I gave a rough estimate of how much time I was willing to spend on it. We came to agreement and made a plan.

While it was scary to say exactly what I did and did not want to do, it was also incredibly freeing.

I’d love to hear your stories. What have you said no (or yes!) to lately?

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iDiots

If the embedded video in this post doesn’t show up, click here.

I actually use Apple products exclusively, but I still think this is humorous.

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After the Storm: Part Thirty-Two

Picture by Jože Gorjup.

Picture by Jože Gorjup.

Just tuning in? Start here.

“Guarantee me at least another decade and I’ll go peacefully with you at the end of it.”

If Death still had the muscles necessary to cock his (non-existent) eyebrows Paige would have immediately known what he thought of this deal. He rubbed the nearly invisible line on his clavicle as she finished her argument. It had long since healed, but the thought of it snapping in two again aggravated nerves that really shouldn’t exist in a skeleton.

“I want to see the girl grow up. Once she no longer needs me you can have me.” Malachi had lost just as much as his sister had in their short lifetimes, but somehow the idea of Wilma growing up without any memories of her parents, grandmother, or great-grandmother seemed unfair. Paige wanted both of her descendants to remember where they came from, especially if they were going to grow up around a woman like Daphne.

“Fair enough. Do you want to pick the day, or should I?”

“Make it the first unbearably hot day of summer. No one expects the very old to survive that time of year anyway.”

“I will.”

“Would you like a cup of tea before you go?”

“Yes.”

Lemon whined as Paige began heating up the water and rummaging around in all but bare cupboards for clean cups and the last of the tea. The table smelled like sour milk, but he couldn’t see who or what the oldest member of the household was talking to. She patted his head as she poured out the tea and began an animated conversation with the empty chair on the other side of the table.

The children had been left more or less to their own devices while Daphne and her sons were gone. Paige fed them their daily meal, but other than that Wilma and Malachi slept when and where they pleased and wandered as far away from the house as their legs would carry them. Her hip was bothering her more than it had even a week or two earlier, and she had trouble keeping up with even the lightest chores.  Yet if she stopped to rest it was hard to do so without falling asleep or sinking so deeply into her thoughts that she lost track of what was happening around her.

It was not surprising, then, that she didn’t hear Daphne walking into a house full of air that smelled like unwashed dishes, smoke, and old sweat long after Lemon had gone to investigate what the smallest humans were doing in the other rooms of the house. For once it was too rainy outside for them to explore.

A strange smell snagged Lemon’s attention. There was a creature standing outside in the courtyard he’d never seen before. Daphne grabbed him before he could greet his newest friend, but Lemon barked a celebratory hello anyway to make sure the creature took notice his presence.

“I thought we’d have to swim our way home,” Ephraim said with a wry grin as he shook the water out of his hair and onto everyone near him. Isaac grabbed the harness and lead the mule to their shed. It was really too small for such a large beast, but he wasn’t sure if it was safe to leave the animal out in the rain and cold all night. His brother followed him to help make room, and once the source of his newest reason for excitement was out of sight Lemon curled up near his favourite human’s feet.

“I have to see if I can make this work again,” Daphne said to no one in particular after she’d washed her hands. “Sometimes there are new messages.” Paige watched Daphne carefully as the younger woman took a tablet out of her knapsack and set it on the table. She frowned but said nothing. It was a good thing Death left just after the young folks arrived back home.  The light flickered a little more dimly as the strange contraption slowly turned on.

The only new message was from Tara. The epidemic had grown so serious that it was actually referenced in their local paper. A small article appeared on the fourth page warning citizens to wash their hands, avoid contact with the sick, and continue taking their vitamins. Once again Daphne stumbled over words that she’d never read before, but she wondered how terrible the situation really was in the capital if even the official spokespeople were beginning to acknowledge it.

“I saw one of those things once,” Paige said.

“What?”

“When I was a girl I saw a box that acted like that thing. It had words in it that would disappear if you shook it. My Ma thought it was evil, though, dug a very big hole, and buried it.” Daphne didn’t know how to react to this revelation. She knew Paige had lived a very long time, but she had heard very little about the older woman’s childhood.

“Who gave it to you? Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know,” Paige said. “Dad was a trader so he might have brought it back on one of his missions, but until things got really bad there were always a few families that had an odd item or two. Most of them didn’t light up, but they did do things that no one could explain or were made of materials I’ve never seen anywhere else.”

“What happened to them?”

“We got rid of them in The Purge.” A virulent disease had shaken the valley many years before, killing many times more people than had died this past summer. To stop the deaths the ombudsmen had burned, buried, or shipped out everything that was suspected of harbouring evil spirits. To even mention their names risked summoning them, and very few families were willing to hold onto trinkets that no longer held any real purpose.

Once again Daphne wished she had been born in Mingus instead of being awkwardly transplanted there as a child. There was still so much she didn’t know about her adopted community.

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Suggestion Saturday: November 16, 2013

Here is this week’s list of blog posts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Confessions of a Funeral Director. Imagine pallbearers accidentally dropping a casket in the middle of an ice storm. What happens next is something you’ll have to read for yourself.

God and Death Play Cards While They Wait for an Old Man to Die. There’s more going on in this painting that meets the eye. Can you spot what’s really happening?

Two Different Ways to Be a Good Person. I don’t think life is quite this simple, but do see value in teasing out the difference between thinking you’re a good person and seeing yourself someone who occasionally/regularly/often does good things.

Buddha Spirit via WilSenior. This article is about the connection between therapy, Buddhist meditation, and awakening your compassion for yourself as well as other people. I have a very tough time getting my mind to shut down when I occasionally try to meditate, but maybe I should give it another shot.

One Man’s Epic Quest to Visit Every Former Slave Dwelling in the United States. Historical reenactments aren’t just for wars. I would have never guessed that some slave quarters are still standing, much less that at least some of them are structurally sound enough to sleep in for a night or two. This is the kind of history that piques my interest. It’s easy to reconstruct how extremely wealthy and powerful people lived, but I find it much more interesting to learn about the lives of individuals who lived and died without those privileges. I think you can tell far more about any society from how it treats it’s most vulnerable members than in how caters to the top 1%.

10 Things You Should Never Say to Yourself via DearAnnMarie. I tend to be a little suspicious of the self-help market in general, but this is wonderful advice.

From The Hand That Feeds You:

After working at the farmers’ market, I’ve come to love fresh local food—and hate the people who buy it.

Every Saturday before dawn, I traveled from deep within Brooklyn to the northern tip of Manhattan to welcome a truck fresh from the fertile Hudson Valley loaded with fist-sized beets, shaggy bunches of kale, quarts of yogurt, loaves of organic spelt breads, and almost all the staples of a pesticide-free fridge.


Last week my friend Heather recommended the author Connie Willis to me. The first book of hers I read is Fire Watch, a fantastic collection of scifi/fantasy short stories. Most of them are hard science fiction, a subgenre that I haven’t spent as much time reading as I have other types of speculative fiction.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who prefers character-driven plots. The scifi elements of this book are interesting, but the characters are what kept me reading. Each one is sketched out in such great detail that it felt as if they were moving through full-length stories instead of the much shorter works they actually occupied.

What have you been reading?

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Who Should Speak for Pastors’ Kids?

How likely is it that preachers’ kids will lose their faith? Is it any different from the general population?

The Barna Group, a Christian polling organization, just published the results of its study of pastors’ children to see whether it was true that ‘those who’ve grown up closest to the church are the quickest to leave it….’

I think it’s important to point out here that all of these results came from telephone conversations with pastors, not their children.

From Why Do Pastors’ Kids Leave the Church? A New Poll Investigates…by Asking the Pastors.

Photo by Richard Melo da Silva.

Photo by Richard Melo da Silva.

The results of this poll aren’t as important as its methodology, but the above links do make for an interesting read if you have a spare 20 minutes.

Longterm readers know that I was a preacher’s kid. I spent all but the last six months of my childhood immersed in subculture that holds pastors and their families to a very different standard than is expected of the average Christian family. Explaining what it’s like to grow up in this environment is like emigrating to a new country as an adult and then attempting to explain your childhood to people who have no personal experience with the culture or history of your home country.

Now imagine someone who grew up elsewhere deciding that they know your life better than you do. When people ask why you emigrated, they start spouting off statistics about the increasing number of polar bear attacks or your chances of drowning in maple syrup.

Yes, sometimes they might actually stumble upon the truth. There are people out there who are sensitive to unspoken assumptions and cultural mores, but the fact still remains that they’re putting words into your mouth. Their experiences are not yours, and as important as it is for them to learn about other points of view being told what something is like is no substitute for actually living through it. Even preacher’s kids from the same family can have very different reactions to their childhoods. I know PKs who are Atheists and devout Christians, straight and gay, traumatized and deeply happy as adults.

Gather 20, 50, 100 of us in the same room and you’ll find 20, 50, 100 different stories. Invite our parents to join us and I have no doubt that in many cases their understandings of where we are now won’t be the same as ours. It doesn’t mean that anyone is lying, only that families are complicated, past experiences colour present expectations, and not everything in life in static.

Ideally there would be no spokespeople. Asking a handful of people to speak for an entire group usually leads to only certain stories being told. Everyone who doesn’t fit a narrow definition of what is acceptable is filtered out during the selection process, and that only leads to more misunderstandings.

But at the very least you should be directly interviewing the subjects of any study. No one who wants to be taken seriously would poll men on what women think, teachers to speak for firefighters, Christians to weigh in on Tibetan Buddhism, or straight people to explain what it’s like to be LGBT.

If anyone from the Barna Group ever reads this, I would be happy to participate in a new poll. I would pester…er, encourage all of the other PKs I know to hop in as well. If you want real data, we can help.

 

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