I’m Happy to Visit, but I Don’t Want to Stay

800px-Pink_BowA while back Drew and I were talking about weekend plans. The thing we were planning on doing required much more travel time than we normally commit to on weekends, and as we discussed it I felt my stomach tense up. I really didn’t want to tie up an entire day with this particular get-together. It’s the sort of event that can be over in 15 minutes or stretched out for hours, and right now I’m at a place in life where I really don’t like spending so much extra time on something that can be wrapped up quickly.

But I also don’t want to disappoint anyone. I simply had and have a strong preference for spending our days together in other ways. There was a time in my life when I would have quietly gone along with the flow even though I really didn’t like it.

I’m very slowly changing, though.

Instead of agreeing to spend an indeterminate amount of time on it, I said, “I’m happy to visit, but I don’t want to stay as long as we did last time.” And then I gave a rough estimate of how much time I was willing to spend on it. We came to agreement and made a plan.

While it was scary to say exactly what I did and did not want to do, it was also incredibly freeing.

I’d love to hear your stories. What have you said no (or yes!) to lately?

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