Author Archives: lydias

One of the reasons I started this blog was to pull down the masks we wear. It’s easy to pretend to be someone or something you’re not in order to get through the day.

Is this necessary sometimes? Yes.

But it’s not the only way to live.

“The Things We Dare Not Tell” by Henry Lawson reminds us why.

***

The fields are fair in autumn yet, and the sun’s still shining there,
But we bow our heads and we brood and fret, because of the masks we wear;
Or we nod and smile the social while, and we say we’re doing well,
But we break our hearts, oh, we break our hearts! for the things we must not tell.

There’s the old love wronged ere the new was won, there’s the light of long ago;
There’s the cruel lie that we suffer for, and the public must not know.
So we go through life with a ghastly mask, and we’re doing fairly well,
While they break our hearts, oh, they kill our hearts! do the things we must not tell.

We see but pride in a selfish breast, while a heart is breaking there;
Oh, the world would be such a kindly world if all men’s hearts lay bare!
We live and share the living lie, we are doing very well,
While they eat our hearts as the years go by, do the things we dare not tell.

We bow us down to a dusty shrine, or a temple in the East,
Or we stand and drink to the world-old creed, with the coffins at the feast;
We fight it down, and we live it down, or we bear it bravely well,
But the best men die of a broken heart for the things they cannot tell.

A question, readers. But first a little backstory.

I’m 29 years old and still don’t have any interest in many grown up activities.

I rarely drink alcohol and I’ve never learned to like beer or wine.

Dinner is always casual – often it’s leftover from the night before or something simple like soup or a salad. I never make multiple-course meals.

Brussels sprouts will always be unpalatable.

I don’t own dressy clothing and have no desire to change that.

I still think science fiction is better than serious literature at pointing out the flaws in our current societies or governments.

As much as I like being married I have no desire to push others into it. Being single (or being in a relationship that isn’t legally recognized) isn’t something that needs to be fixed. There are as many ways to live a good life as there are good people.

When I was a kid I thought becoming an adult meant taking on more serious opinions and roles. Most of the adults around me seemed so sure of what they were doing and what they wanted out of life.  Some of them had strong opinions and had no problem pressing those beliefs on others.

I didn’t feel or act that way but assumed I would as I grew older.

It never happened.

Tell me, readers –

When did you first feel like an adult?

If you were uninterested in stereotypical adult things as a teen or young adult did you ever learn to like them? Or have your interests stayed more or less the same over the years?

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The Link Between Reading and Being Thin. Interesting stuff.

35 Lifechanging Ways to Use Everyday Objects. My favourite was the can opener trick.

21 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity. I don’t normally post multiple links from the same site but I could decide between this link and the one above it! As much of a cliche as this is to say there is so much good in the world if you go looking for it.

All the Angels Are Smiling with Bob. I didn’t know Bob personally but this was a fantastic online eulogy for someone who sounds like an incredible human being. Non-theists, don’t worry – despite the title it’s not a religious piece.

From Why We Shouldn’t Judge People of the Past with Our Knowledge of the Future:

We often believe that in our own worst moments that we will be our best selves. So we create an infallible righteousness persona and time travel inside of our minds to a different era. We state hypotheticals…It is easy to be an armchair revolutionary.

Canadian readers have no doubt heard of this book already but As for Me and My House is an  eerily accurate look at what it feels like to be closely related to a pastor. Mrs. Bentley, the narrator, is the wife of a Protestant minister living in a small prairie town during the Great Depression.

As a former preacher’s kid I know exactly what it’s like to live with the impossibly high expectations placed on the wives and kids of ministers, to grow accustomed to the loneliness that comes with being a good example and to be the unwitting target of small town gossip. Mrs. Bentley and I may be separated by six decades but some things never change.

To my international readers, you may not be able to find this book at your local library, but this is something that’s well worth purchasing online or at a bookstore.

What have you been reading?

I’ve learned so little about this picture.

It was created in 1884 by Anna Bilińska-Bohdanowicz, a Polish painter who was known for doing portraits of women.

I do not know the name of the woman in this painting. Her eyes haunt me, though. A story still smoulders behind that faraway gaze.

Does anyone know anything more about her?

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, pictures, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Treat People How They Want to be Treated:

My entire life has been filled with lessons saying that I should be treating people the way I want to be treated. It’s a great lesson, in theory but if that is your life philosophy, allow me to simply state the following:

You’re doing it wrong.

This Column Will Change Your Life: Underachieving. I love this.

From 8 Myths About Sex Differences:

Gender is a powerful reality; it is the perception and expectation of differences between males and females and it shapes both our bodies and our society. Gender differences are real and important, but they are not hard wired or even static. There is no biological or evolutionary mandate that only women really care for babies and show emotions, or that males are the best at economics and politics and prefer beers and skirt-chasing to domestic bliss.

The 25 Most Awkward Cat Sleeping Positions. Just a little something to make you smile.

My last few trips to the library have been uninspiring. What are you reading?

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, articles and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Does Organic Food Make You a Jerk?

According to a study by a Loyola University professor, people who eat organic are more judgmental and less inclined to engage in altruistic behavior. In short: Maybe you’ll live longer if you eat organic, but everyone will wish you hadn’t.

I’m not thrilled with the methodology of this study but the results are eyebrow raising. If this sort of trend actually does exist I think it’s the result of rigid, judgmental personalities and not the food itself, though. I’ve seen similarly snobby attitudes about all kinds of stuff: religion, politics, gender roles, etc.

Contemporary Authors We Think We’ll Still be Reading in 100 Years. Looking for some new reading material? One of these authors might be right up your alley. I can vouch for anything from Doris Lessing if you like science fiction or fantasy. Her writing is extraordinary.

The Image Language. This is one of the most incredible websites I’ve ever visited. Click on the link, type any sentence or paragraph into the box on the left and hit enter. The site automatically posts the first google picture connected with each word in your entry. You end up with a collage of images that, as much as I’d never think to link them together, often really do match up well to the tone of your text.

The Dangers of Rom-Coms. Go pop on over to my friend ‘Seph’s blog for a thought-provoking discussion about how romantic comedies mislead us on what a healthy relationship looks like.

We Love to See You Smile. As much of a cliche as this may be to say a small act of kindness can have a big effect on someone who is having a terrible day. Click on the link to read one such story.

My reading list has been skimpy lately but I finally found something worth recommending. Everyone hopes that they and their loved ones live long and healthy lives. When this dream is disturbed by a bad diagnosis the fear can be overwhelming.

Memoir of a Debulked Woman tells the story of Susan Gubar’s experience with ovarian cancer. I’ve had two loved ones struggle with serious illnesses in the last few years. (No, neither of them have ovarian cancer.) I know what it’s like to be a family member of someone in this situation – this book shows you what it’s like to be diagnosed with something  terrible.

What have you been reading?

Welcome to summer!

John Keats’ “On the Grasshopper and the Cricket” captures the sluggishness of this time of year well:

The poetry of earth is never dead:
   When all the birds are faint with the hot sun,
   And hide in cooling trees, a voice will run
From hedge to hedge about the new-mown mead;
That is the Grasshopper's--he takes the lead
   In summer luxury,--he has never done
   With his delights; for when tired out with fun
He rests at ease beneath some pleasant weed.
The poetry of earth is ceasing never:
   On a lone winter evening, when the frost
      Has wrought silence, from the stove there shrills
The Cricket's song, in warmth increasing ever,
   And seems to one in drowsiness half lost,
      The Grasshopper's among some grassy hills.