Recently some new readers have found this blog using phrases like, “a person wants to apologize but doesn’t think they were wrong.”
I wish we had more details about what’s happening in their lives. Since this didn’t happen here’s are a few questions I recommend asking yourself for future readers who find On the Other Hand through this topic:
- Is this a pattern in their life?
- Is this a pattern in your life?
- What do trustworthy friends and family members think about the situation?
- Have you asked them to explain their point of view? If so, can you understand why they were offended?
- Would you be offended if someone else had said or done to you what you did to them?
These questions are not foolproof but they’re a good start.
I know I’ve said things that later made me cringe. Sometimes I didn’t realize how terrible they sounded until long after the conversation ended.
Barring an abusive environment I think it’s good to apologize if you’re able to do so genuinely. If you can’t fully apologize don’t give a half-hearted, “I’m sorry if you were offended.” This will only make things worse.
If I was in this situation I’d say, “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” If they were open to it I may start a conversation about why X is offensive or what I should say instead in the future.
How have you reacted in this situation? Do you agree or disagree with my advice?