A Response to Picking Up the Best Bits

Photo by Joe Ravi, license CC-BY-SA 3.0.

Olivia at Reading in the Bath recently had something interesting to say about her experiences with online childfree groups:

So one of the things I’ve enjoyed about sticking around in a few different groups for a while and getting past all the (to me) slightly awkward ‘I like children…with sauce’ jokes, is that I’ve found there are many other people who don’t come from a place of hatred or hostility either.

To be honest my sexual orientation and non-theism tend to surprise others much more often than my decision not to have children.

But there are certain similarities between being childfree and being part of other minority groups or subcultures.  Answering the same questions over and over again grows repetitive and there are times when I wonder, “why is s/he so focused on this one issue instead of everything else we have in common?”

This is where it really helps to have relationships with other people who are also members of group X and grok why I’m so frustrated (or confused, thrilled, or irritated!)

Just like Olivia says, though, sometimes you have to filter the wheat from the chaff. I’m not an angry person and I don’t dwell on the offensive stuff other people say or do.  These things happen.

Angry people aren’t the majority, though. From what I’ve seen for every person looking for a reason to be offended there are two or three who just want to live in peace. The problem is that when the media or the rest of society notices group X they tend to seek out the most controversial, outspoken member they can find. It’s good for ratings and page views and, to be honest, the rest of us are often not as interested in outside attention.

And so the rest of the world continues to assume the worst about group X while those of us who are actually living it roll our eyes and continue on with our daily lives.

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Suggestion Saturday: March 24, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Discrimination Against the Long-Term Unemployed. Sad.

What Makes Sex Good? So it’s spring and once again street preachers are asking strangers what I consider extremely personal questions. Not everyone considers the topic of religion to be a private matter, of course, but I’ve often wondered how they would react if I started asking them  for a detailed description of their sex lives. Would they realize I was making a point about the (in)appropriateness of certain topics when meeting someone new? Eh, probably not. 😉

Lady Magazine. To be honest these kind of magazines all but satirize themselves. It’s still a funny picture, though.

The Red Ball Project. Because our world needs more whimsy.

President Obama On Trayvon Martin’s death (if you haven’t heard of Trayvon Martin the link does explains his death in more detail):

My main message is to the parents of Trayvon Martin. You know, if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon. And you know, I think they are right to expect that all of us as Americans are going to take this with the seriousness it deserves and that we’re get to the bottom of exactly what happened.

Interesting speech:

What have you been reading?

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Wild Card Wednesday: Capturing a Moment

Time: 1943

Place: Clinton, Iowa

Don’t you wish you could slide into an empty seat and listen in on these  conversations?

 

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When Words Are a Feast or a Famine

Photo by Ben Pollard

Is rain in the forecast for today?

Hey, I didn’t know swans lived in Ontario!

Have you had your tea yet?

 Let’s go for a walk.

Drew smiled.

 What? Am I talking too much?

Smile.

 You know I only operate on two different speeds. Tomorrow I’ll probably grow silent again so enjoy this while you can! 

Smile.

Most of the time I’m quiet around even those who mean the most to me. Occasionally I have a long list of thoughts that aren’t too private to share. I’ve never been able to find a balance between the two, though.

Have you?

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Suggestion Saturday: March 17, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Did Stone Age Cavemen Talk to Each Other in Symbols? We need a Rosetta Stone for these symbols.

Four Seasons, One Photo. What the same patch of land looks like in all four seasons.

Music Lessons. If you give a dog a music lesson…he or she just might learn something!

Thanks to Daphne for sharing this video with me a little while ago!


What have you been reading?

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Forgotten Heroes: Jane Jacobs

Forgotten Heroes is a series of posts about extraordinary men and women who are (probably) not remembered by the average person.  Previous heroes include Nellie Bly,  Charles Loring Brace and Emily Murphy.

If you know of a forgotten hero who should be included in this series let me know about him or her in the comment section or via my contact form

 Time: 1968

Place: Toronto

“Cities have the capability of providing something for everybody, only because, and only when, they are created by everybody.”
― Jane Jacobs, The Death and Life of Great American Cities

To whom does your neighbourhood belong?

Businesses?

Politicians?

Advertisers?

Jane Jacobs thought it belongs to you.

Well maybe not legally. But she saw a difference between building a city for cars and building it for people.

She thought of a city – of any community, really – as a living thing. Just as you or I wouldn’t survive very long if we traded in our livers for an extra stomach Jacobs believed that cities need to be mixed-use and dense in population in order to prosper over the long haul.

If all of the businesses are at one end of a city and all houses on the other it’s going to be pretty difficult to maintain a sense of community. Everyone will be too busy driving from one end of the city to the other to go to work or pick up a loaf of bread.

There was a time when I spent four hours a day travelling to and from work. It doesn’t leave much time for getting to know the neighbours…or to browse at a local store.

A few generations ago it was common for people from every class, but especially the poor, to live in the same neighbourhood in which they worked. Sometimes shopkeepers lived in the same building as their shops and business owners sold products from their living rooms.

Fashions and zoning laws changed and this isn’t something you hear about very often these days.

I wonder if it will ever be allowed again?

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Suggestion Saturday: March 10, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Why I am a Male Feminist:

The following day, I attended a workshop about preventing gender violence, facilitated by Katz. There, he posed a question to all of the men in the room: “Men, what things do you do to protect yourself from being raped or sexually assaulted?”

Not one man, including myself, could quickly answer the question. Finally, one man raised his hand and said, “Nothing.”

Taking Care of the Basics. This is marketed to people living with serious mental illnesses but the message is universal.

From The Big Event:

From a personnel standpoint, it’s like herding cats. Delicate, finicky cats that only eat quail meat and that need silt from the Nile to fill their litter boxes.

Existential Parenting. When my youngest brother was a preschooler he used to tell us stories about what he did and thought in the womb. Specifically, he talked about “seeing red blood cells float by.” I don’t remember him ever talking about his pre-existence but this link reminded me of that story.

Some science fiction stories make you wish our world actually had their technological advancements. As comforting as it would be to (sort of) survive even the most horrific accident Her Husband’s Hands is not exactly a ringing endorsement of the technology we’d need to make that world possible.

What have you been reading?

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Wild Card Wednesday: This is Spring

If there comes a little thaw,
Still the air is chill and raw,
Here and there a patch of snow,
Dirtier than the ground below,
Dribbles down a marshy flood;
Ankle-deep you stick in mud
In the meadows while you sing,
“This is Spring.”

  • C. P. Cranch, A Spring Growl.

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5 (More) Books that Changed My Worldview

The first half of the list. 


William Golding, The Inheritors. One of the questions I’ve come back to again and again over the years when I want something interesting to think about is this: what was it like to grow up Neanderthal 30,000 years ago? What were the real differences between Neanderthals and Homo sapians sapians?

Golding’s answer to this question doesn’t agree with current research but the characters he breathes to life are unforgettable.


John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath.

This book taught me more about the Great Depression than any history class in public school.


Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace.

(Very) loosely based on a real murder trial in the 1840s. The narrator is at time unlikable and unreliable (or maybe she really doesn’t remember what actually happened?) but Atwood’s description of what life was like for a working class Canadian woman is chilling. I suspect even an innocent narrator would have been found guilty by virtue of the horrifically sexist and classist society that tried her.


Susan Goldman Rubin, Emily Good as Gold.

It’s been 15 years since I last read this book but Emily is still one of my favourite characters. I don’t know how accurate the depiction of her developmental disabilities is – I’ll leave that argument up to people with firsthand knowledge of the subject. What I can say is that I remember this being one of those rare young adult books that takes a hard look at sensitive topics like sexual assault and discrimination against people with disabilities without sounding like an after school special.


John Colapinto, As Nature Made Him.

One of the most captivating books about gender, sexuality and how society influences our identities that you’ll ever read. In a nutshell, when John he was an infant a botched circumcision destroyed his penis. The doctor treating him told John’s parents to move to a new town,  change his name and raise their son as a girl.

So they did.

As soon as John could talk, though, he insisted he was a boy like his twin brother. This is the story of what happened next. It’s a powerful argument for the idea that gender identity and sexual orientation are inborn traits, not something that anyone can change.

 Respond

Do you have a list of unforgettable books?

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Suggestion Saturday: March 3, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Notes from the Field:

You hear a lot of talk about relocalization and deindustrialization. The pastoral life, the good old days. How romantic! Reality pays you a visit when your pick-axe hits a rock, a chunk hits your face, and you taste your own blood.

Right Versus Pragmatic. This is so true.

From Why Anti-Authoritarians are Diagnosed as Mentally Ill:

Americans have been increasingly socialized to equate inattention, anger, anxiety, and immobilizing despair with a medical condition, and to seek medical treatment rather than political remedies. What better way to maintain the status quo than to view inattention, anger, anxiety, and depression as biochemical problems of those who are mentally ill rather than normal reactions to an increasingly authoritarian society.

Interesting premise!

Combing the Fringe: Death of the Mayans. A year from now will anyone actually admit to believing they thought the world would end in 2012? This whole thing reminds me of the Y2K hype. I spent that world-ending night  earning easy cash by babysitting for family friends – their kids went to bed early and I stayed up to see if all of the computers actually were going to crash 😉

Let’s Look at Amazing Photos. The link title says it all.

I’m still trying to figure out what I think about Nancy Fulda’s Movement. What have you been reading?

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