Suggestion Saturday: February 11, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

What the Childfree Have in Common with Introverts. Good stuff.

Shadow Puppets. How many shadow puppets can you make?

Genetic Portraits. Retouched pictures of family members – one half of the “face” you’ll see is one person, the other half is another.

From The Science Behind the Kiss:

Our lips are packed with sensitive nerve endings so that even the slightest brush sends a flurry of information to our brains that often feels very good. Although we often don’t think of them in this way, our lips are the body’s most exposed erogenous zone.

The Shitty Competition. In my experience people who act like this around others don’t like themselves very much either. Knowing this doesn’t make them easier to get along with but it can help you cultivate compassion for them.   Not a work-safe link.

Marcel Theroux’s Far North frustrated and piqued my imagination this week. The idea of anyone attempting to survive alone in an Arctic, post-apocalyptic environment is chilling. Makepeace’s descriptions of living in this world – especially when it comes to all of the details left unshared until the last possible second- were in turn intriguing, shocking, terrifying, and at times even a little irritating.

The story itself was full of surprising turns and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in this genre…I just wish a few key scenes had been described in more (or in some cases, any) detail.

What have you been reading?

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Thursday Challenge: Listen Twice, Speak Once

 A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends…

Click here for the rest of the tale.

Almost everyone who has ever met me in person has at one point or another said, “Lydia, you’re so quiet!”

It’s true. I am quiet.

Maybe part of it is because I’m an introvert and my energy lasts longer in social situations when I speak less.

Part of it is because I don’t always know what to say. Sometimes I don’t have an opinion on topic X, or I feel an embryonic poem or short story quivering on the tip of my tongue, or I’m enjoying listening to everyone else talk too much to chime in.

And part of it is because words are permanent. You can almost always say it later but you can never take it back if you’ve made an incorrect assumption or judgment of the situation.

So I listen first, try to absorb all of the available information before forming an opinion.

Your challenge this week, should you choose to accept it, is to listen twice as long as you did last week before speaking up.

Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won’t. The only way to know is to try! 😉

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

Is Forgiveness Without an Apology Really Forgiveness?

Is forgiveness without an apology [really] forgiveness?

Someone recently found this blog by typing that question into a search engine.

I know I’ve mentioned this here before but the answer is yes. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.

At the bare minimum reconciliation requires an apology, a commitment to change and stitching your relationship – professional, romantic,  platonic or otherwise –  back together. In short, it’s something that can only happen if everyone participates. Reconciliation is a beautiful act…but it’s never guaranteed to happen.

One can forgive someone without being given an apology because it’s not about them or what they did anymore. Instead it’s about allowing yourself to walk away from the cycle of harm.

And even with forgiveness the person who harmed you still has to face the consequences of his or her actions – legal troubles (in extreme cases), the erosion of trust, a relationship that may or may not overcome whatever has just happened.

Often forgiveness is the first step to restoring things to the way they used to be.

Sometimes people forgive and the relationship continues with a few additional boundaries in place.

And every once in a great while a person will forgive without allowing for the possibility of reconciliation. I’ve only ever had to exercise this option once but it was the best choice for that situation.

Respond

What do you think? Have you ever struggled with differentiating between forgiveness and reconciliation? What have been your experiences with forgiving someone who never apologized?

 

 

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: February 4, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, message board threads, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Ode to Bella Santorum. I avoid politics – especially U.S. politics –  as much as humanly possible but this bears repeating.

Sheep Herding Swedish Bunny Hops to Fame. This is one of the cutest, funniest things I’ve ever seen.

From a discussion on Letter From Former Slave to Former Master:

Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you…At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars.

Hobo Life in America. There’s a story in every wrinkle, every scar.

From MacArthur’s Address at Los Angeles Banquet, 1955:

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair — these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.

Once again I haven’t read anything worth recommending this week. What have you been reading?

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

You Were Born in the Sea: Part Four

A parable, of sorts.
Part one.
Part two.
Part three.

You’ve grown sleek and strong eating their food and drinking their soft waters.

“Are you ready?” One says.

“Yes.”

You didn’t realize how much you needed water until there was none to be had.

This land is strange. When the wind blows pieces of it coat your travelling clothes and sting your eyes. Your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Suddenly she’s sitting on an old red rock.

“You look thirsty, friend.” Even her water tastes like the land, hot and gritty.

“We need to talk about the water people,” One says.

“What’s there to say about ignorance?” she huffs. “They swim with the dead, they pee where they drink. They have no respect for the water, the land or the rest of us.”

“They don’t actually know that land exists,” you say. “Or at least not in the way you think of it. Everything is different degrees of water to us.”

“Well, where do they think all of those tributaries come from?” she asks. “Without them the seas would dry up.”

“We think it’s endless,” you say.

“But it’s not.”

“No.”

“You should go tell them! There’s far more land than water out there.” You wonder if that is true, if the seas you grew up in are an aberration.

“They don’t listen.”

“Well, how did you learn how to listen?”

“A storm washed me to shore. I was too curious about the hard waters to swim back home.”

“See! If you can change so can they.”

“It’s not always that simple.”

Hmmph.

Days pass. The others of her pod vary in opinion:

“I’d always thought a valley full of water was a myth…”

“How could anyone be so wasteful? Water shouldn’t be used for anything but cooking or drinking. If you need to pee, find a rock.”

“Why would someone born in paradise want to leave it?”

“Imagine never running out of water!”

Your walk back to the foothills is quiet.

“Why doesn’t anyone understand?” you ask One.

“Well, why do you understand?”

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

You Were Born in the Sea: Part Three

A parable, of sorts.
Part one.
Part two.

Two strangers stand at the edge of the woods. One is tall, the other short.

“We’ve been watching you for a few days,” Tall says a round of introductions later. “Where are your people?”

“Back home,” you reply, your arm sweeping back to the gentle waves behind you.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she says with a flinch. “We thought you were a traveller.”

“I am.”

“But you came home to bury your kin?”

“My pod isn’t dead. Or at least I don’t think they’re dead. We live in the sea.”

“Oh.” Tall and Short exchange glances. “And where did you live before then?”

“I don’t understand the question,” you say. “We have always lived there.” Short steps forward, gingerly touches your warm hand.

“You’re still alive!”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We release our dead to the sea. We thought you were one of the ones that try to come back,” Short says with a grimace.

Time passes. Night falls. You had all but forgotten what it felt like to share a meal, to listen to others breathe as you fall asleep.

In the morning Tall and Short convince you to swim to their pod.

You are too lonely to do anything but agree.

The waves grow larger the longer you swim. Their people huddle behind the peak of one of the biggest waves you’ve bobbed through so far.

The pod parts. One paddles up to you and touches your hand.

“You’re still alive!” One says.

“So are you!” you reply. One really looks too old to swim. You wonder why he continues to kiss the sky with so many new swimmers competing for air.

“The sea hasn’t called me yet,” One replies. “How did you manage to escape it?”

You share your story.

“There’s someone you need to meet,” One says. “I’ve never heard of people living in the water but she may have. But first you must rest here, build your strength.”

“Is it a long swim?” you ask.

“Swim?” One laughs. “Where you’re going there isn’t any water at all!”

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: January 28, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The Love Story that Changed History. Amazing photographs of Mildred and Richard Perry Loving, an interracial couple who challenged the Racial Integrity Act of 1964 (which banned interracial marriages in Virginia). The case eventually went to the Supreme Court and the verdict changed history.

From Time in a Capsule at Maple Leaf Gardens:

Every time capsule needs a mystery item—something whose inclusion puzzles the people who find it decades later. In the MLG time capsule that mystery is provided by a pendant-sized ivory elephant, whose significance has officially stumped Ryerson officials.

Daydreamers. Have you ever wondered what strangers are thinking? This is not a work-safe link.

Upside Down. And have you ever wondered what seals are thinking? This is a work-safe link. 😉

I haven’t read anything spectacular this week. What have you been reading?

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

You Were Born in the Sea: Part Two

A parable, of sorts. Click here for part one. 

Time trickles by.

One day you wander so far that you end up spending the night in this strange new place.
It feels good to slip into old habits the next day and give your sore muscles a rest. There are so many new things to explore, though, that you slowly begin spending more and more time wandering away. Eventually you don’t even need to come back for.

Seasons pass.

One day you come back to the in-between place. The others have returned, their solemn heads bobbing up and down as they watch you swim to them.

“You won’t believe what I’ve seen! The water there is solid but not frozen. Instead of swimming you stand or climb. I’ve even seen some who have figured out how to swim above it.”

Some of the others look puzzled, angry, skeptical.

“There are still places where water is wet…especially after a storm. But you can usually find a puddle of it somewhere when you’re thirsty.”

“What’s wet?” one of the leaders asks.  You hesitate, wondering how to describe something they’ve always had.

“Have you been eating that weird algae again?” someone else asks.

“No,” you say.  “Listen, it’s hard to explain. Why don’t you come see for yourselves?”

“There’s no such thing as solid water,” the leader replied. “Maybe you stepped on a sea turtle by mistake. Come back home with us. There’s no need to mention this again.”

Part of you wants to swim back and forget everything. It’s incredibly lonely to eat, sleep and explore without any companionship but you cannot imagine pretending to un-know all that you have seen.

“No, I’m staying.” The others begin to slowly swim away.

For a moment the companion you originally discovered this new sea with hesitates and then she, too, joins them.

There is silence once again.

You settle back into a routine of eating, sleeping and exploring. At night you stare at the stars and tell yourself stories about their origins.

And then one day just as you’ve slump into the realization that there is no one else in this strange new place….

“Hellllooo!”

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

You Were Born in the Sea: a Parable

You were born in the sea.

You didn’t call it that, of course. Everyone knew the waves have no beginning or end.

Occasionally someone would swim in from somewhere far away with fantastical stories about warm, sweet water in the south, icy saltwater to the north.

One of you even claimed that she’d seen water so salty you couldn’t swim inside of it.

No one really believed her, though. She must have eaten too much algae before bed.

A storm rumbled across the sky. You were floating next to her when the first flash of lightening scratched through the clouds. You reached out to hold her hand (as was the custom).

When it ended you both were in unfamiliar waters…some of which was curiously un water-like.

“See?” she said, standing up with a wobble. “It’s too salty to swim in. Only my toes are covered now.”

“Strange,” you replied.

“It gets saltier the further you swim,” she said. “A little farther in and even my feet float.”

“What happens then?”

“I don’t know.”

You decide to find out. She stands over the salty water, waving as you swim on to saltier waters. Some are as hard as bone, others as sharp as fins.

Perplexing.

When you return the others are waiting. No one believes you about the bone-water. They wouldn’t believe her stories, either, except that a few brave souls have tested the saltier waters for themselves.

She leaves with them. You stay. There must be a reason why this water behaves so strangely.

(to be continued…)

 

 

 

 

5 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: January 21, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, pictures and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

This picture was snapped in 1928 on a field trip taken by Waterdown Public School students and teachers. Old photographs always make me wonder what happened to the subjects in the years that followed.

The Male Explorer Who Was Actually Female. I wonder how many other stories like this have been long-since forgotten?

100 Most Powerless New Yorkers. We need more lists like this one.

What Slippery Slope? Good stuff.

 

From Helping the Homeless at the S.F. Public Library:

What started as a tough situation – staff members worried about people washing up in the bathrooms, or acting badly – turned into an opportunity. The library, which has always thought of itself as a resource, found it had nothing to offer people who came in asking for help finding housing or places to sleep.

Thomas Grant Wynn’s How to Think Like a Neandertal condenses all of our current knowledge about neanderthal* physiology, culture, diet and religion into a book that’s accessible even for people who know little about the subject.

Several times while reading it, though, I’ve wondered how accurate even our most educated guesses actually are – if only we could interact with living, breathing members of this species!

*Apparently either spelling is acceptable. 🙂

What have you been reading?

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised