Lydia Schoch

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, quotes, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Wanna make a monster? Take the parts of yourself that make you uncomfortable — your weaknesses, bad thoughts, vanities, and hungers — and pretend they’re across the room. It’s too ugly to be human. It’s too ugly to be you. Children are afraid of the dark because they have nothing real to work with. Adults are afraid of themselves.- Richard Siken, “Black Telephone”

What if Disney’s Princess Movies Were Horror Stories? I’m a big fan of reworking classics but these tales are definitely not kid-friendly. Then again, neither were many of the originals!

Sexist Humor No Laughing Matter. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same can be said about racist, homophobic, classist, etc. jokes as well. Laughter is wonderful…but not if it’s coming at the expense of someone else.

Sisters Separated by WWII and Seventy Years, Reunited by Facebook. Wow, I can’t imagine the emotional pain Tanija and Hedija Talic and their brother experienced. My brothers and I had typical childhood squabbles growing up, of course, but I bonded with them before they were even born. One of my favourite memories is of Jesse and me having a long conversation with our very pregnant mother’s belly about everything we wanted to show the new baby. To be separated from my siblings would have been excruciating. I hope this family has many happy years together and is able to find their missing brother.

What Would the Apocalypse Mean To You? A great thought experiment.

12 Ways to Make Talking to Strangers Less Awkward via mediocreventure. I disagree with the book recommendation in this link as I don’t find Dale Carnegie’s work to be helpful. The list, though, is worth reading.

On a lighter note:

To be quite honest with you I knew little about Etta James’ life before I read Rage to Survive. I’ve never been a drug addict or professional singer but it’s amazing to see what has actually happened in other people’s lives. There is a sense of relief that comes when one realizes that behind the shiny exterior every one of us has struggled with something. Some are big, others small but no one lives a charmed life.

What have you been reading?

Photo by Kanko.

So last Saturday I posted a link to this article about terrible sex scenes in modern novels.

In response my friend Zora wrote this hilarious satire. My favourite section is as follows:

She looked at him with eyes as moist as huevos rancheros, and the tiny pink bud of her lips was like a perfectly formed rose on the top of a birthday cake, artfully sculpted, reminding him of his birthday candle which he imagined her blowing out, wondering what her secret wish might be.  Her body was full and soft like a ripe peach, and her perfectly round breasts bounced languidly like buoys on the surface of a calm sea.  The look on her face was one of the most intense desire, and sensing the fire in her loins, he leaned down to that sweet furnace and lit a cigarette.

Click on the link above for the entire story. Need I say it’s NSFW? Well, unless you write or publish these kinds of stories for a living. 😉

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

When Good Paranormal Fantasy Sex Scenes Go Really, Really Bad. This is why I’ve yet to include sex scenes in my stories.  It’s quite difficult to write one without falling into tired tropes or using metaphors that just don’t work.

Smile. I dare you to not to smile.

From A Letter to Adam , The Newtown Killer:

Dear Adam,

Let me start by saying that I wish for you to find peace. It would be easy just to call you a monster and condemn you for evermore, but I don’t think that would help either of us.

Codecademy. No, that isn’t a typo. Codecademy is a free, online tutorial for anyone who wants to learn programming languages like Javascript, HTML or CSS. I’m pretty computer literate but have yet to find a method for learning this sort of thing that doesn’t make me feel like a bad geek for not already knowing concept X. Until now.

Draw a Stickman via Mzzlee. An interactive drawing game.

Best Practices for Raising Kids? Look to the Hunter-Gatherers. One of the biggest cultural differences between downtown Toronto and northwest Ohio is how over-protected kids are in the former. In the 8 years I’ve lived here I’ve never seen anyone under the age of 12 walk down the street alone. Even in the suburbs kids don’t seem to have the freedom to wander around that I had growing up. A few years ago a teenage relative was forbidden from browsing on a different floor the library because there weren’t any adults from the family on that floor. This makes me feel sad because Toronto is an incredibly safe city. While I’d never tell others how to raise their children I wish the culture here was less neurotic. Part of becoming a well-rounded adult is learning to manage time, memorize how streets and landmarks interact (e.g. how to get un-lost if you wander too far) and solve interpersonal problems without assistance.

Winter is poetry season. The juxtaposition between the lively imagery in A Thousand Mornings and the grey world around us (at least in continental climates) is delicious. The grass and trees may be dormant for the next few months but our imaginations are fertile!

What have you been reading?

We’ll go back to discussing serious topics on Thursday. In the meantime this is a fun short film about a boy who desperately wants to lose his robot. Enjoy!

Here is the final list of blog posts, quotes, poems, paintings, charts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web for 2012.

I know this quote is talking about individual human beings but it’s thought-provoking to apply it to our species as a whole (or even to the year that we will soon bid farewell!)

We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves. I wish for all this to be marked on my body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography – to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves on a map like the names of rich men and women on buildings. We are communal histories, communal books.- Michael Ondaatje 

Mermaids of the Canary Islands. This painting is a great short story prompt if any of you are looking for such a thing.

How an ENFP Celebrates the Holidays: AKA Why You Should Invite an ENFP to Your Holiday Party. If I were planning to throw a New Year’s Eve party I’d invite this blogger in a heartbeat. She sounds like a delightful guest! Hopefully she wouldn’t mind this INFP writing a few poems about her the next morning.

The First Rule of Hug Club. I like this idea but I have complicated feelings about hugging. I’m cuddly with my spouse and love hugs from family members and friends but social situations in which one is expected to give physical affection make me quite uncomfortable. Hugs should always be given and accepted freely. They should never be an obligation.

The Basement. Go take a look at this photo essay. Everything I want to say about it will spoil the surprise but you’ll like it more if you have no idea what to expect. Don’t worry, it’s nothing frightening!

The Meaning of Life Illustrated. The 9 pleasures of stimulation chart is a tongue-in-cheek look at the meaning of life. My favourite combinations are AG, DH, EH and HI.

From Lights Out:

a child’s question

pulls my attention

from a book to his questing eyes

‘did you ever fall in love?’

Althea’s family only looks rich. Since the death of her stepfather they’ve rapidly been running out of money. Her home is rotting away and the only way a woman of her generation can come up with the money to restore it is for her to marry a rich husband – and fast! One of the bloggers I follow recommended Keeping the Castle. Initially I was skeptical as I’m usually uninterested in love stories. What can I say, I’m not very romantic. 😉

I’m not ashamed to admit how much I loved this book, though. It was funny in a deliciously snarky (although never cruel) way and the interactions between Althea and her beaus reminded me of the pitfalls of modern dating and relationships. Too often we think more about making a good impression than actually getting to know the person sitting across the table from us.

What have you been reading?

This list is (mostly) for folks who celebrate the upcoming holidays, and are fortunate enough to have people and resources to celebrate with; if you don’t fit that group, skip to the bottom. If you do fit, then even if your family are your favorite people and you look forward all year to the holidays, you still may find useful hints here.

– A Bit of Holiday Advice.

I love this list.

Drew and I don’t exactly celebrate Christmas but last year and this one we made a point of having a quiet day at home on the 25th.

I cook whatever we both feel like eating and we watch movies or give my parents a call. It’s incredibly relaxing and we’ve ended up following a lot of the ideas on the above list even before Laurie and Debbie posted the list. Most of the suggestions are common sense but it’s nice to see other people coming to the same conclusions about what one “ought” to do this time of year.

I hope your holidays – whatever you celebrate – are just as wonderful as ours.