Suggestion Saturday: February 25, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Scars:

But the more we learn about our own perspective and the more we see that it is just that, our perspective based on all that has happened to us and probably most influenced by whatever scarring we have undergone, the more we can relate to others and understand that they are doing the same thing, working from their perspective which, like ours, has been molded by whatever they have undergone.

The Tale of My Broken Neck. Why you should always wear a helmet when riding a bike, skateboarding, skating, etc.  This story includes graphic descriptions of the aftermath of a bike accident. The rest of the site may not be work-safe. Consider yourself warned. 😉

20 Reasons Why People Have Sex. I’m feebly trying to resist the urge to quote all 20 reasons and explain the difference between marked and hidden estrus the next time someone insists the purpose of sex is reproduction. Possibly not a work-safe link.

From Spotlight or Fame:

We loved her voice. We rooted for her comeback. But perhaps she moved into the spotlight too suddenly. Perhaps the flame from the light burned her in places no one could see.

The Paper Menagerie sent a chill down my spine. What have you been reading this week?

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A One Hour Trip? That’s Too Far Away!

Seven years ago when I moved from Ohio to Ontario travelling wasn’t a burden.

I’d spent the previous eleven years living in a small town. Going almost anwhere – church, the grocery store, school, the gas station – required a vehicle. Sidewalks existed mostly in the older sections of town and not all of them were well-maintained. Often my mom and I would take a twenty or thirty minute walk without seeing anyone else on the sidewalk.

Friends would sometimes say, “I saw you out walking last weekend. Is everything ok?” It was  assumed that the only reason someone would walk is because they didn’t have enough money to drive (or had lost their license).

Enter Toronto, the walkable city.

Coming from my background it was strange at first to “share” the sidewalk with other people. Sometimes there would be so many people walking that everyone walked single file for several blocks!

I loved the idea of visiting three or four different stores without once climbing into or out of a vehicle but it was kind of funny to hear Torontonian friends say, “You want me to travel an hour just to go to dinner? That’s too far away!

Fast forward to 2012. I’m turning into one of those Torontonians.

An hour or two of travelling on it’s own doesn’t sound too bad until you realize you have to do the same trip to get back home. Before anything else happens, then, you’ve already spent 2-4 hours of your day just travelling.

Once you arrive at your destination you’ll probably spend at least that much time- if not more –  eating dinner, socializing and participating in other activities. It wouldn’t make sense to spend more time travelling than you do at your destination, after all.

Suddenly a “one hour” trip turns into a full 8-hour day and that’s if there are no public transit delays and everyone moves smoothly from one activity to the next.

I don’t want to become one of those people who stays in the same neighbourhood all of the time…but I’m really beginning to understand why it happens.

A one hour trip just for a meal? That’s too far away!

Respond

How has moving to a new area or spending time with new friends changed how you think?

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Wild Card Wednesday: Where You Go From Here

” ‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’

‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.

‘I don’t much care where –‘ said Alice.

‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.

‘–so long as I get somewhere,’ Alice added as an explanation.”

-Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

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Forgotten Heroes: Emily Murphy

Forgotten Heroes is a series of posts about extraordinary men and women who are (probably) not remembered by the average person.  Previous heroes include Elijah McCoy,  Nellie Bly and Charles Loring Brace

If you know of a forgotten hero who should be included in this series let me know about him or her in the comment section or via the contact form. My list of future Forgotten Heroes is growing short!

Time: 1917

Place: Alberta

Photo by Jkelly

Are women people? You might have smiled wryly or rolled your eyes as you read that question. Emily Murphy wasn’t smiling.

In Alberta in 1917 women weren’t legally included in the term persons according to how the British North American Act was interpreted at the time. Among other repercussions, this mean that women weren’t allowed to serve in the Senate. Emily wanted to change this.

The first step was to have women legally declared as persons. Her campaign became known as the Persons Case.

1 year passed.

Then 2.

5.

10.

Finally the case reached the Supreme Court in March of 1928. The question at hand:

Does the word ‘person’ in Section 24 of the British North America Act include female persons?

Five weeks later their unanimous answer was a resounding no.

Emily appealed to the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council in Great Britian and a year later the Supreme Court’s decision was overturned. (Remember, Canada didn’t officially become independent until 1982.)

I rarely venture into politics on this blog, but Emily’s decade-long struggle for women’s rights reminds me of something that recently happened in the country of my birth.

Last week a bill was passed in Virginia requiring women to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before they are allowed to have an abortion.

Sometimes doctors do need to do these types of ultrasounds during a pregnancy to diagnose potential problems. But politicians are not obstetricians. They do not have the appropriate background or training to determine if any – much less all – women need this procedure.

This is not a medical issue.

Once you peel back a few layers it’s not even really about abortion.

It’s about the same damn question we’ve been wrestling with in western society for generations:

Are women people?

Can they be trusted to own property, have a bank account, vote, run for office, work, fall in love (or stay single),  decide when or whether to become a mother?

Or are men the only ones qualified to decide what women are and are not “allowed” to do?

I think we need another Emily Murphy in this world.

 

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Suggestion Saturday: February 18, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Fake Rhino Attempts Zoo Escape. This is one of the oddest news stories I’ve ever read. Love the idea of disaster preparedness, though!

Urine Color Chart. This reminded me of how I read my mom’s nursing school textbooks and academic journals as a kid. Can anyone confirm the validity of this chart?

From Personal Bill of Rights. The rest of the list is just as good:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

MLK on the Vietnam War. A side of Martin Luther King, Jr. most people don’t talk about very often.

 

What have you been reading?

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You Are Not a Guru

  I really don’t like wearing it but I have to do it…

she said with a soft sigh. Somehow the conversation had tumbled into all of the stuff women do to look presentable – high heels, makeup, shaving.

What I wanted to say:

So stop wearing it! It’s your body, your decision. Why waste your time and money on something that you dislike so much? Most people will never notice a thing and anyone whose opinion of you is changed by something so petty doesn’t deserve to be part of your life in the first place.

What I actually said:

We haven’t known one another for very long. It felt weird to tell her what I thought she should be doing instead. What works for one person may fail miserably for another.

And it was hard to think of a spur-of-the-moment way to say that some of us don’t bother with any of that stuff without sounding like a sharp-tongued street preacher I saw last year who yelled at a woman for daring to walk past him while wearing a skirt he thought was too short.

Maybe someday our conversations will circle around to this topic again and she’ll ask me questions about my life. If that happens I’ll answer them happily.

In the meantime, though, I am not a guru. Neither are you.

 

how do you get away with it? By just doing it. But respect where others are coming from…even if their reasons are circular.

 

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Wild Card Wednesday: Winter 2012 Questions

Search engine queries from the winter of 2012.

1. Do most people enjoy small talk? Yes. Even though it can be pretty dull sticking to mundane topics is better than inadvertently hurting or offending a new friend by bringing up a touchy subject.

2. What was Nellie Bly afraid of while she was in the Blackwells Island Insane Asylum? She might have feared being injured by a staff member or fellow inmate, never being released, contracting a lethal disease or all of her hard work being ignored or dismissed by the outside world.

3. Is it bad to snap at someone? Yes. How you conduct yourself after the fact is very important, though.

4. Will the smell of a rotten potato go away when you cook them? Food poisoning is brutal. Just buy new ones.

5. Where to go if you do not want to celebrate Christmas?

A few ideas:

  • The nearest big city. There are bound to be neighbourhoods there populated with ethnic and religious groups that also don’t celebrate Christmas. Maybe you’ll find a new favourite restaurant or store!
  • The great outdoors. Go hiking, sledding, camping (or swimming if you live in a mild climate. 🙂 )
  • Online. Bake cookies/pop popcorn and catch up on that movie or tv show you’ve always wanted to see.

6. How do you avoid awkward conversations? Smile politely and then suddenly notice that someone across the room urgently needs your assistance.

7. List of compliments for relatives? Look for even the smallest accomplishments or acts of kindness and acknowledge them sincerely. Not possible? see #6.

8. Is anonymity destroying social skills? No. It can make some people more willing to tear down others, though.

9. % of people who lodge a compliment? 2.*

10. Bruxy Cavey is wrong. Yes, but so are you occasionally. I don’t have such a great track record either.

11. Deconversion hurts. Sometimes. It gets better, though!

12. How do quiet people make friends? Quiet people naturally exude a tantalizing pheromone that is irresistible to social butterflies. After our victims new friends are tagged and released we track them back to their social networking sites and cannibalize their friend lists.;)

13. What were the likelihood of John Watkins prophecies coming true? About as likely as any other prediction.

14. Is it passive aggressive to dump [someone] by email? Yes, unless you fear for your safety.

15. When is violence acceptable in religion? It depends on the interpreter. Some people believe their religion allows for violence on any day that ends in a Y, others think it’s ok under specific circumstances, and still others never condone it.

16. How do you become talkative and philosophical? Find a notebook, dress warmly and head to the nearest park or forest. Spend half an hour watching the local wildlife and writing down every question about humanity and the world around us you can think of that cannot be answered with the scientific process. When you have your list find someone who is interested in following these questions wherever they may lead. Finding this person will be by far your biggest challenge.

17. Bible character skinned alive.

Bartholomew.

Lachish captives (an unknown number).

Two Elamites.

18. Dialogue for two people in a dark alley.

Person #1: Did you hear that?

Person #2: Yes. Keep walking. We’re almost out of here.

The footsteps quicken.

Person #1, growing anxious: What happens if they catch up?

Person #2, smirking: Buffy isn’t the only slayer in town.

19. [Do] highly sexual cultures have less violence? This study says there’s a correlation between the amount of physical affection (or abuse) shown to infants and the level of violence in adult society. That’s not exactly what you were asking but it will be interesting to see if any further research is done on this topic.

I highly suspect there is a link between violence and living in a repressive culture – sexually or otherwise. Correlation is not causation, though, so high levels of violence and repression could actually be caused by something else entirely.

20. The word that means “the use of profanity as a stress reducer.” I couldn’t find any current words with this meaning. Let’s make one up. Any ideas?

*Not a scientifically accurate figure.

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Death and Winter

The middle of February is the deadest time of the year.

Most years those of us living in temperate continental climates have been slogging through cold and slush for two months and have four, six or more weeks left of it. Even the most stubborn trees have been stripped of their leaves and there are few signs of life – animal or plant –  on the land.

It’s difficult to stand in a forest or garden with the wind gnawing through your coat and remember that in a few months the sun will grow stronger and flowers will once again peek through the soil.

But it will.

This is the time of year when death is on my mind the most. Not in a depressed  or anxious sort of way, understand, but just the realization that all of us have a beginning, middle and end.

It also reminds me of Edna St. Vincent Millay’s “Low-Tide”:

 These wet rocks where the tide has been,
Barnacled white and weeded brown
And slimed beneath to a beautiful green,
These wet rocks where the tide went down
Will show again when the tide is high
Faint and perilous, far from shore,
No place to dream, but a place to die,–
The bottom of the sea once more.
There was a child that wandered through
A giant’s empty house all day,–
House full of wonderful things and new,
But no fit place for a child to play.

High tide, low tide, death, life, winter, summer. Nothing is constant but there is a pattern to it all.

Now to hunker down and wait for spring!

 

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Suggestion Saturday: February 11, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, videos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

What the Childfree Have in Common with Introverts. Good stuff.

Shadow Puppets. How many shadow puppets can you make?

Genetic Portraits. Retouched pictures of family members – one half of the “face” you’ll see is one person, the other half is another.

From The Science Behind the Kiss:

Our lips are packed with sensitive nerve endings so that even the slightest brush sends a flurry of information to our brains that often feels very good. Although we often don’t think of them in this way, our lips are the body’s most exposed erogenous zone.

The Shitty Competition. In my experience people who act like this around others don’t like themselves very much either. Knowing this doesn’t make them easier to get along with but it can help you cultivate compassion for them.   Not a work-safe link.

Marcel Theroux’s Far North frustrated and piqued my imagination this week. The idea of anyone attempting to survive alone in an Arctic, post-apocalyptic environment is chilling. Makepeace’s descriptions of living in this world – especially when it comes to all of the details left unshared until the last possible second- were in turn intriguing, shocking, terrifying, and at times even a little irritating.

The story itself was full of surprising turns and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in this genre…I just wish a few key scenes had been described in more (or in some cases, any) detail.

What have you been reading?

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Thursday Challenge: Listen Twice, Speak Once

 A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends…

Click here for the rest of the tale.

Almost everyone who has ever met me in person has at one point or another said, “Lydia, you’re so quiet!”

It’s true. I am quiet.

Maybe part of it is because I’m an introvert and my energy lasts longer in social situations when I speak less.

Part of it is because I don’t always know what to say. Sometimes I don’t have an opinion on topic X, or I feel an embryonic poem or short story quivering on the tip of my tongue, or I’m enjoying listening to everyone else talk too much to chime in.

And part of it is because words are permanent. You can almost always say it later but you can never take it back if you’ve made an incorrect assumption or judgment of the situation.

So I listen first, try to absorb all of the available information before forming an opinion.

Your challenge this week, should you choose to accept it, is to listen twice as long as you did last week before speaking up.

Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won’t. The only way to know is to try! 😉

 

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