Food Is Not the Enemy

Recently I saw this commercial at the home of the relatives we’re staying with while we look for a place of our own. (Photo credit – Miss Karen.)

The premise: a woman stands in front of a fridge, stares at a raspberry cheesecake and desperately tries to justify why she should be allowed to have a slice of it.

(This in and of itself was really weird. Unless you have medical restrictions on your diet or are wanting to sample a portion of someone else’s food, why would the concept of being allowed to do something ever be attached to what an adult chooses for his or her afternoon snack? )

Her friend walks up, mentions that she has been craving raspberry cheesecake and grabs a container of raspberry cheesecake flavoured yogurt. It ends with a voice-over announcing that this line of yogurts only have about a hundred calories per serving.

The commercial has been pulled off the air but I’m wondering how it was ever approved in the first place. No, it wouldn’t be advisable to eat a large piece of cheesecake every single day but food is not the enemy. It isn’t intrinsically good or bad, a reward or punishment, it’s fuel for growth, healing and everyday activities. If we don’t eat enough of it we will eventually die.

When others share unsolicited opinions on what I do (or do not) eat it doesn’t make me want to change my habits. If anything it makes me want to hide what I am eating, whether a salad or a handful of cookies. Shame and guilt aren’t good methods for changing behaviours.

Respond

Had you heard of this commercial before reading this post? Why do you think some people have such fractured relationships with what they think they ought to eat versus what they actually eat?

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: June 18, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, poetry, art, songs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The Teacher. Once while driving home from a funeral my father compared the life of the person who had died to a book. For better or for worse the last chapter had been written and I wished that there was a way for us to read everything that individual had known.

Am I Delusional? Why do some people – theist and non-theist alike –  become so militant about their beliefs? Click on the link for an engaging discussion of this question.

Viruses as Glass. It takes a highly creative individual to find the art in disease. Most of us can only see the suffering.

10 Ways to Show Yourself Some Love. I love this list!

In the Year 2525. Futurology and a smattering of philosophy set to music.  This is why I adore baby boomer music. 😉

What have you been reading?

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

The World Beyond Your Cage

Two of my favourite cartoonists posted strips on the same topic on the same day recently.

David Hayward had this to say about emotional cages. Nina Paley added her own twist:

around your mind

Both reminded me of an incident last week here in Toronto. A young squeegee kid and a middle-aged motorist allegedly got into a violent confrontation after the young man dripped dirty water onto to the older man’s vehicle. The motorist ended up with a nasty gash on his head. This article describes the incident in more detail. Fair warning for sensitive readers: the video embedded in it includes graphic photographs of the injury.

What I find most interesting in all of this is how much we assume that our responses to hypothetical situations are the only rational ones. People who are enraged by this incident seem to think we should fight off these encounters with as much force as is necessary to protect our families and possessions. Others point out how humiliating it must be to be constantly treated poorly by everyone else because you are homeless and urge compassion for the alleged assailant.

I don’t know what to think other than I suspect that our reactions to events that don’t personally affect us have a hell of a lot more to do with what is inside of us than what is going on in other people. Can this be changed? I don’t know. This isn’t even necessarily a bad thing. It is just what it is.

What do you think?

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised

When Life Gives You Spam, Make Poetry

Spam happens.

I’ve finally found a use for it: poetry. Everything in Letter to You (including the title!) was harvested from recent, unsolicited emails to me and Drew.

When you’ve finished reading it I challenge you to make the best of something. Copy my idea for spam poetry, transform something that you’d normally throw out or recycle into a work of art, laugh instead of scowl at adversity and then come tell us about it in the comment section.

From dubious links and pleading letters from Nigeria comes a maudlin poem about the intersection between love, loss and profit.

Without further ado I present:

 

Letter To You


This mail might come to you as a surprise

and the temptation to ignore it as unserious

could come into your mind but please consider

it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense

of humility.

 

I never really cared about other people

before this happened.

 

(Died on the 24th of November.)

 

My business and concern

for making money was all I was living for.

 

(Plot 84, if actually this is true. Three

days from now and there is no response.

We will confirm that you are dead indeed.)

 

I made $450 in a few hours.

I snagged $888 in less then a day.

I have 18,000,000.00 U. S. Dollars.

 

But since the loss I have found a new desire to

assist the helpless orphans in orphanages/

motherless homes/humanitarians.

 

Don’t say I never help anyone!

 

You did not die.

Please I want you.

You have to get back to us.

Kindly expedite action and contact me.

You’re going to be so happy!

12 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: June 11, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, poems and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The Bridge Poem. What would we be like if we didn’t need human bridges?

From Your Body is Beautiful. My only critique: I wish it had acknowledged that not every body is healthy. The core message is fantastic, though.

Realize that beauty is just a concept. Keep it in perspective. Meditate on the miraculousness of your body, the cohesiveness of your insides. Those are the things that truly matter.

Your body is beautiful, perfect, outstanding the way it is.

Sperm Grown in a Test  Tube. How long will it be before human sperm is manufactured the same way? I also wonder what other applications this will have in the medicine of the future. Will it pave the way for us to create vital organs? Limbs? Entire new bodies?

Lessons We’re Learning Riding Mass Transit. The advantages of using mass transit. If only every community had buses, streetcars or a well-designed subway system!

The Case of the Missing Phone Call. Of compassion, medical appointments and crossed wires. I liked this post because it’s a good reminder of how hard it can be to step into someone else’s shoes.

This week I’m reading Peace Pilgrim. What have you been reading?

 

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Ancestor’s Eve: Why Stories Matter

Earlier this year Drew and I watched Star Trek: Voyager. In the fifth season one of the characters invents Ancestor’s Eve, a spring holiday honouring some of the crew’s ancestors.

On April 22 I celebrated Ancestor’s Eve by re-telling stories from both of our families of origin. Some were silly, others serious and even though we have nine months to go before this holiday comes around again I’ve already begun to collect new stories. Next year we’ll expand the traditional definitions of ancestor and kin for this project- wisdom does not always come with age and there is far more to being a family than sharing DNA or bumping names in a genealogy.

Sermons – religious or otherwise – are a dime a dozen and morality tales only work if one already agrees with their underlying assumptions. A story without strings is different, though. (By that I mean a tale told without painting the moral of it in neon green letters across the exposition.) Yes, some mistakes we do have to muddle through ourselves order to grok a particular lesson but others can be learned from through observation.

One of my favourite things to do growing up was to sit with the adults and listen to their stories about engagements, abuse, comical misunderstandings about moist towelettes, the harrowing effects of untreated physical and mental illnesses, summer droughts, death, new babies, and conflicting opinions about that new restaurant in town.

As a PK (preacher’s kid) I probably heard more about the dark side of life than most kids who grow up in loving families. Occasionally mom and dad would gloss over certain details or clarify particularly troubling situations later on with us but I was never frightened by what I overheard. It was just part of pastoring. I’d like to recreate this experience here at On the Other Hand.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to begin gathering your own stories for Ancestor’s Eve next spring. Anything that has taught you or someone you know is eligible. I’ll mention it here sporadically over the next ten months and am hoping to share some of your stories along with my own at the end of April 2012.

Are you in? 🙂

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Destination: Confirmation Bias


Today’s topic: Confirmation bias.

Drew and I have moved back to Ontario and are temporarily living with family while we look for a new apartment. One relative is well-versed in common things that could kill you, from e-coli on produce to traffic accidents, skin cancer to home burglaries.

There are several news programs and talk shows this individual watches religiously that discuss ordinary people who are harmed or killed in unusual ways. This seems to have created a feedback loop in which the world appears more dangerous with each special report on the hidden dangers of [insert food, product, species, activity or habit here.]

This isn’t something only this one relative does, of course. I’ve walked into more than one situation assuming the best (or worst) and basically ended up with what I expected. If only we could be divided into two or more consciousnesses. How fascinating would it be to see all of the possible outcomes of one event or decision based on what each person involved thought might happen?!

I’m slowly learning that while we can influence some of the things that happen to us no one can control everything. Trying to do so actually seems to make things worse than going with the flow and worrying less.

Respond

Here are some of the questions that have been rolling around in my head: what came first, the sensationalistic programs or the anxiety about those things we cannot control? Is worrying about these things more or less common in stable countries with good safety nets?

What do you think?

 

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Suggestion Saturday: June 4, 2011

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The explanation for the figure on this tree is something I haven’t figured out yet. (Photo credit – Usien.)

Oprah and Zoe. How do you respond to people who assume that you share their religious beliefs and are dismissive when they discover the truth?

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. – Susan B. Anthony in an address to the National American Woman Suffrage Association (1896). If only she and I had been born into the same generation. We would have so much to discuss!

Torches on the Earth. There’s something soul-soothing about watching a day unfold into night.

You Can Talk to Me. I hope this catches on. Sometimes it’s nice when friendly extroverts start up a conversation.

From Let Love:

You too are enough, you too are perfect in your imperfection.

That knowledge is all the momentum you’re ever going to need. If you’re looking for answers, for meaning or purpose, for a way to change or to gather hope, for a bit of peace or a little faith, then look in the mirror. The answer is you. You are what you’ve been looking for. You are where change, hope and faith live and breathe.

That Ringing Sound. Is this the future of story-telling?  It reminds me of stories I grew up hearing from other kids.

A Post-Apocalyptic Society and How it Can Save Us. My brother, Aaron, sent this to me. Read it even if you have no interest in this genre. The yearnings it describes are, if not universal, then at least extremely common.

I haven’t read any new books in the last week or two. What have you been reading?

 

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Preventing Burnout

Abby at New Urban Habitat recently shared an excellent post on recovering from burnout.

Today I’ll take the conversation a step further: why are you burned out? what can we do to prevent it from happening again?

Have you taken on (or been assigned) too many responsibilities? Are you in a profession that is a poor fit for your interests and strengths? Do you have underlying health or relationship problems that are exacerbating the problem?

From Abby’s post:

For me the key is not avoiding burnout (or any other emotion), but learning from it, developing resiliency – bouncing back. That’s why I’ve been accumulating these strategies for inevitable bouts of burnout:

Resiliency is a fantastic trait but I’d argue that prevention just as important.

When I was ten my brothers and I came down with the chicken pox. It was a miserable, itchy experience that left behind a constellation of scars from the largest sores. Yes, we are probably immune for life now but I would have much preferred to be immunized against this disease as a small child instead.

A few years ago I became burned out. The process of figuring out what I needed to do to become happier was incredibly valuable. I have an arsenal of skills at my disposal if or when this happens again. More importantly, though, I know what I can do to (hopefully) prevent it:

  • Eating a healthier diet.
  • Exercising.
  • Meditating.
  • Enforcing better interpersonal boundaries – no is complete sentence.
  • Avoiding caffeine and refined sugar.
  • Transitioning to a career better suited to my personality and interests.

Then again, burnout to me is something to be taken seriously. It isn’t one bad day…it’s a month, season, year of them.

Respond

What do you do to prevent burnout? Do you agree with Abby when she says “as the years pass, I’m more accepting of life’s seasons, of natural cycles of dormancy and energy, of the inevitability of falling into ruts”?

(Photo credit – Sebastian Ritter.)

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorised

Pick a Label, Any Label

Time: 1998-ish.

Place: My rural, northwest Ohio high school.

Characters: Yours truly and a persistant classmate I’ll pseudonym Chris.

Chris: So, you’re a Christian, right?

Lydia: Yes.

Chris: What kind are you?

Lydia: Just Christian. My church doesn’t belong to a denomination.

Chris: Oh. Are you Catholic?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Methodist?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Charismatic?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Lutheran?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Baptist?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Presbyterian?

Lydia: No.

Chris: Eastern Orthodox?

Lydia: No.

Five minutes later the conversation was still circling. We were beginning to veer into types of Christianity I’d never even heard of.  Finally I decided to act.

Chris: Anglican?

Lydia: Sure.

Chris: Oh, ok.

I no longer remember the real denomination that I agreed to in order to end the conversation. It may very well have been Anglican. All I can say is that it gave Chris an acceptable answer and for the rest of our high school career Chris never again asked about my beliefs.

If I could step into that moment again I would be honest with Chris. Our church was influenced by the Vineyard movement of the 90s and when I was much younger previous churches had been Charismatic. Either one would have been more accurate than the unfamiliar denomination.

Why lie? I didn’t want to be pigeonholed. The conversation caught me off-guard. I thought that Christian was descriptive enough.

My labels have changed over the years but the discomfort remains. Yes, one-size-fits-all is convenient and can make communication easier and sometimes thinking inside the box make it easier for other people to understand stuff they’ve never had to consider before.

In no way does this make the label-go-round any less odd, though.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorised