Suggestion Saturday: September 25, 2010

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photos, documentaries and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Cultural-Mythologies. When I was a Christian I was deeply frustrated with how reluctant the institution of Christianity was to listen to or learn from what we referred to as secular society.

Most people tend to think that mythologies only exist in the past, from distant ancient – and usually extinct – civilizations. Mythologies exist in every culture. They are how a society communicates. Literature, movies, music, nearly all forms or art & entertainment reflect the current culture’s – society’s – understandings, philosophy, loves, concerns, and fears.  To embrace the insular, or isolationism, is to disconnect from these numerous and various richnesses of art & entertainment; it is to disconnect with society.

Mother Nature, You’re a Trip: Aurora Photo. A long-exposure shot of an aurora borealis in Norway. Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe it. I long to see one for myself someday!

Do You Know Your ABC’s? How to Counteract Negative Self-Talk. This reminds me of some of the books and articles I’ve read about Buddhism and meditation that remind us that we are not our thoughts. I didn’t know what to think of that idea the first time that I heard it!

Suffer the Little Children. If you have a spare hour this weekend watch this heartbreaking 1968 documentary about the Pennhurst State School. I did not realize that children with even mild developmental delays or physical handicaps were institutionalized so recently in our history.

Field Philosopher. My favourite photo so far from my favourite photo blog, The Daily Coyote.

What have you been reading?

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Scent Pollution

One unexpected advantages so far of not  having cable TV is that I no longer need to argue with the commercials.

Candles. Dish soap. Body wash. Laundry detergent. Fabric softener. Deodorant. Hand lotion. Feminine hygiene products. Shampoo. Mouthwash. Toothpaste. Wood polishers and other cleaning products. Disposable dusting clothes. Everything is scented these days.

If I want the scent of fresh lemons in the kitchen, I will buy some fresh lemons to cut, peel or juice in there. If I want a living room to smell like flowers, I’ll….go admire the fresh bouquets at someone else’s house.  If I want to bask in the scent of  fresh laundry, I’ll head over to the laundromat and wash some of our clothing. (What does fresh smell like, anyway?)

Part of the problems is, I think, that marketers believe that clean has a scent. It doesn’t or at least not the scent of rainwater, fruit, flowers, sunshine or oxygen. Clean dishes/clothes/houses smell like nothing at all. That’s why we wash them. Clean people soon develop a faint aroma unique to their own body chemistry, but that’s nothing to be worried about. Making you smell like you is exactly what your body is supposed to be doing!

On the rare occasion now that I catch advertisements for scented things the entire scented-life-stuff industry seems even more ridiculous than it was before. Especially when one considers that scents mix. It isn’t just one scented product, after all, it’s layer upon layer of them- a noxious mixture of hairspray, cologne/perfume, body wash, mouthwash and shampoo on each person in the room, plus  the aroma of any scented candles/wall-plug-ins as well as a faint whiff of any strongly scented cleaning products that have been used in that area recently-  that were never intended to be inhaled at the same time. Because of this they clash. Sometimes horribly.

I have no love for any of it. Which is why I reserve the right to argue with the faulty logic of commercials who try to convince us that adding extra scents to products that don’t need to be scented to work properly is a good idea by any stretch of the imagination.

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Just Calling to Say…We Don’t Know

A few weeks ago Drew’s mom called to discuss ideas for a possible get-together. His family normally makes plans as the very last minute. As in, it’s not uncommon for them to call us the morning of to invite us over for lunch or dinner that day. We’ve all known for the last month or so that we may get together sometime to celebrate a birthday or holiday, but the when and where often don’t coalesce until a few hours before Drew and I would need to hit the road to get to their house on time. This doesn’t stop us from talking about the various options between We have plenty of time to decide and It’s almost noon, we should decide soon if we’re going to do something today of course.

This is nothow my family worked growing up. We’d generally plan out where, when and at what time we were meeting and who would bring what dish (if it was an at-home meal) several days to a week before the actual shindig.

The purpose of the  call: to see if anyone was ready to pick a date, activity and/or location for the get-together that may or may not be happening a few days into the future. Generally  his family calls when someone on their side of the city has formed an opinion on at least one of those options. This day, though, she just wanted us to know that no one had an opinion on anything quite yet.

Cue headdesk. Intellectually I know that there isn’t one right way to plan a family gathering.  Drew’s family has found something that works for them, my family of origin has other traditions. Not a big deal. But even after six years, there’s still a small voice in the back of my head that says that isn’t how we’re supposed to do this!

I wonder if that thought will ever go away?

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Suggestion Saturday: September 18, 2010

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photos and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Real Life Tao – Wrestling with a Ghost. How not to be a perfect person. It was something I needed to hear this week.

Personal Philanthropy: Twenty Ways to Improve the World, Even If You’re Broke. What a great concept! Too often philanthropy is only discussed in terms of donating money.

Earlier this week my Dad emailed me these photos. The message at the beginning of the email said they were from the Buffalo Bill Dam on the Shoshoni River near Cody, Wyoming. The creatures: Ibex (or are they Bighorn Sheep? I can’t quite tell.) Click on each photo for a closer look. A discussion about  them can be found at Snopes.com and my brother Aaron found another discussion here.

The flaws we have. It is a novel in three sentences. I never thought I’d reach such a thing!

Autism’s First Child. An eye-opening article about the life of Donald Gray Triplett, the first person to ever be officially diagnosed with autism. His life was and is not what I would have necessarily imagined would be the life of someone with this disorder who lived decades before we understood it. Donald’s story also illustrates just how much of an influence a privileged background has on how people who are different are treated in their communities.

Finally, some food for thought:

Reasoning will never make a man correct an ill opinion which by reasoning he never acquired. — Jonathan Swift, “Letter to a Clergyman”

What have you been reading?

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You’re So Brave!

New friends sometimes say, “you’re so brave!” or “I couldn’t live without cheese!” when they learn about my dairy allergy.

I wasn’t always allergic. Until adolescence I ate just about anything and it has only been in the last half-dozen years that my allergy became more serious. It isn’t life-threatening but neither it is something with which I can mess around. Reading ingredient lists and not taking risks on potentially safe foods is my normal. I even take these steps when I dream about eating food;on the rare occasions that Dream-Lydia doesn’t take these precautions, a nightmare about my allergic reaction ensues and I jerk awake heart pounding, touching my lips to see how swollen they are before I realize that none of it actually happened.

When someone says these things I think what they really mean is I can’t imagine living that way. That is, they don’t know what it’s like to ponder cross-contamination issues or to recall all of the sneaky places that milk products or other allergens hide when you’re eating at a buffet restaurant or a potluck.  I’ve had similar thoughts about people with other medical or social differences, to be honest, but what I’ve learned is that courage has nothing to do with how one thinks they might react if there’s a seismic shift in what their bodies need or can handle. There’s only what needs to be done today to stay healthy or what substitutions to make or alternate routes one can take for the best quality of life. Normal isn’t a list of little boxes to check off or a line drawn in the sand between those who have it and everyone else.

It’s just life.

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Poverty Museum

I recently re-visited our local natural and world history museum and was struck by what narrow slices of history were up for public viewing. Imagine if our society was only shown through the homes and possessions of  movie stars and high-ranking government officials a thousand years from now. The picture it would paint of life in 2010, while elegant, would be miles away from how the vast majority of people ever lived. I think many museums are suffering from a similar problem. In every gallery or display, especially within European history, the artifacts presented are almost without fail items that would only be found in the homes of the rich or powerful (or within the four walls of a church or other religious institute.)

Part of the reason for this, of course, is that poor people don’t leave much behind.  Until just a few generations ago almost everyone owned very few material possessions and what they did own was generally used until it was worn out. A coat or chair or pair of shoes that belonged to someone who only owned the one of them is probably not going to preserved for hundreds of years and eventually end up in the possession of a museum. Keeping something safe for all of that time requires money and a fair amount of social/political stability (or a very good hiding spot.) A wealthy family or community is much more likely to access these privileges.

Institutionalized racism, sexism and classism explains another chunk of it. If the ideas and work of wealthy white men is what is valued most in a society then it would make perfect sense for more of their work to survive or even be created in the first place. A slave, a woman who gives birth every other year until  menopause, someone who works six or seven days a week, 12 hours a day in a factory is going to spend much more time trying to survive and what they do create is less likely to be recognized as something extraordinary. Some level of discrimination will probably always be with us but it is becoming much less acceptable to display open prejudice against many groups. It just hasn’t yet really filtered down to how it is we represent our history or traditions in most cases.

Still, it would be so compelling to visit a museum and see gallery upon gallery that showed what life was like for slaves, women, ethnic or religious minorities, the poor, and people with disabilities in various times and places. What did they eat and drink? What did their homes (or institutions, in certain times and places) look like? What sort of clothing did they wear? How did they worship their god(s)? Were they able to access some sort of formal education? How was their career path or vocation determined? What sort of medical care was available to them? How many of their children could be expected to reach adulthood? What happened to their bodies after death?

I am on a wait list at the local library for a book about the history of the common (wo)man by Howard Zinn called A People’s History of the United States: 1492-Present. It won’t cover all of eras that interest me but I am definitely looking forward to reading what Zinn has to say on this subject. Hopefully one day a museum will follow in his footsteps!

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Suggestion Saturday: September 11, 2010

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.


via xkdc. Mr. Rogers is one of my heroes. I wish he was still with us.

The Secret to Forgiving Yourself. Why is it that we’re often so much harder on ourselves than we would be on a friend who made the same mistake?

How to Shrink a City. A Boston Globe article on how cities in the US are coping with – and even embracing –  rapidly shrinking populations. The idea of crops growing next to multi-story apartment buildings in the heart of a city really appeals to me. It seems like it could bring out the best aspects of rural and urban life!

You’re Not Lost So Stop Trying to Find Yourself. Why living in the moment and embracing uncertainty are the only sane options.

Gender and Occupying One’s Own Personal Space. I’ve been trying to do this more and more. It’s hard to break old habits, but the social expectations of how little personal space women are supposed to use in public is fast becoming one of my all-time pet peeves.

What have you been reading?

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Pacifists and Horror Flicks

Despite the title, this isn’t just about watching scary movies or about nonviolence.  It’s about being incongruent.  Yes, I’m a pacifist who loves (certain) horror flicks. Fear and anticipation are a delicious elixir when one knows that they are, without a doubt, absolutely safe. I don’t like blood and gore, torture, or graphic scenes of violence but I love suspense.  The types of horror flicks that interest me, then, tend to be psychological thrillers. I like a little intellectual stimulation and moral ambiguity with my adrenaline. It’s rare to find a horror movie that combines these elements artistically so I don’t watch very many of them.

And yet there’s a part of me that is uncomfortable with this. I don’t always even like to eat meat because  some animal – a cow, a chicken, a pig, a fish, some shrimp, occasionally a deer- had to die in order for me to eat that particular meal. I can’t stand the sight of someone else in pain  in real life, but the threat of it onscreen sometimes is a good thing for a plot. How do I justify these conflicting beliefs? Well, I don’t know that I ever have. I’ll often go a year or so between scary movies because I’m not sure how to, on the one hand, feel just a little guilty for eating meat when I willingly watch movies or TV shows that glorify violent responses to conflict.

The only real defence I can muster of the irregularities in my beliefs and actions in this regard is that stories aren’t real. If someone was actually being chased down the street by a knife-wielding fiend, if the dead really were restless, if aliens actually were on the warpath, I’d protect as many people as possible. Or maybe I’d run and hide with everyone else who doesn’t have super-strenght or a firearm. But I definitely wouldn’t think of it as entertainment in the even most embryonic sense of the term.

So, this is my half-formed thought of the day. What do you think?

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Secular Meditation

Recently I began meditating. I’ve read about Buddhist and other religious-based meditation. I disagree with the vast majority of the religious/philosophical beliefs and assumptions about the human condition but the act of meditation itself resonates to the deepest corners of my consciousness.

Meditation is one of my most effective tools for calming anxiety about things over which I have no control. There’s something about just being in the moment, letting go of the what ifs and if onlys that is so freeing. My natural state is to  analyze everything around me at all times. You may notice me sitting quietly in the corner sipping tea and observing the extroverts among us. Listen closely, though, and one just may hear the whirring of my mind as I compose a poem, wonder how we’d cook, bathe, or keep the floors clean if the house suddenly turned upside-down and everyone had to walk on what had formerly been the ceiling, or ponder the hologram that is our universe.  There’s nothing wrong with any of this – it’s just how I naturally function.

At times it is necessary to turn my thought processes off for a time and live in the moment. Breathe in, breathe out. Nothing in the world exists for that time other than a beating heart, slow breaths.  I’m so new to meditation that I don’t have anything pithy or profound to say about it other than it’s working.

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Making Worry Work For You

A loved one was hospitalized due to a sudden illness recently. This relative is young and otherwise healthy and we still don’t know exactly why  she became so ill so quickly. It’s not easy to know that someone you care about is suffering and their symptoms are leading the doctors to suspect that they may have a life-threatening disease. (This family member is now home and almost fully recovered from her illness, for which I am unspeakably grateful.)

As we waited for more news, knowing that the act of waiting was all any of us could do, I thought about coping with the fear of the unknown. As odd as this may sound, I like to imagine the worst case scenario and then plan in great detail out how I would handle it.  Sometimes it is just my anxiety talking and I need to stop thinking so much, of course. But at other times I am able to beat back dark thoughts and fear over what may come with thorough planning.

You can’t plan your way to good health for a family member, of course; I will break my traditional Monday, Thursday, Saturday posting schedule tomorrow to talk about handling worry and anxiety when there’s nothing anyone can do to fix a situation.

In the meantime, I’ll pick different examples to explain my thought processes for the remainder of this post; let’s say that I decided to spend a week camping and hiking in the most remote corner of my province possible. Some of the things that could possible go wrong on this trip are:

  1. Inclement weather.
  2. An accidental injury.
  3. Getting lost and spending one or more nights outdoors before we’re able to be rescued.

Even though I know that none of the things are likely to occur I’d still begin making plans to deal with them should the worst happen.

Inclement Weather. In an unexpected severe thunderstorm,  we would probably needs stuff like: sturdy tents, extra food, a way to avoid being struck by lightening or knocked over by strong winds, and maybe something to keep us occupied while we stayed out of the rain. So I’d pick the sturdiest tent we could afford, research the best ways to create safe, strong shelters during bad weather and maybe add a pack of playing cards or a book of short stories to read aloud while we waited for the storm to abate. I’d also keep an eye on the forecast. If severe thunderstorms were forecast during our trip I’d stay home.

An Accidental Injury. If I knew about the trip with enough advance notice, I’d sign up for a first aid class at the local hospital or community centre a month or two before we left. At the very least I’d bring along a travel-size basic first aid kit and brush up on wound care and how best to stabilize someone who had burns, sprains or broken bones until they could access professional medical care.  I may also pack a whistle or other signalling device.

Getting Lost. I’d do several things to reduce the risk of this: packing a GPS or compass and paper map, planning out where we want to go (and what sort of terrain to expect) beforehand and, most importantly, sharing the plan with family members or close friends who lived nearby. If someone knows where we’re going and about what time to expect us back, any rescue team would at least have a good place to start if we don’t come home at the expected time.

Being Stuck Outside Longer Than Expected.If we ended up having to spend an extra night or more outdoors, what would we need? This is highly unlikely to occur  but my contingency plans would still include a basic plan for spending more time outdoors than was originally planned. I’d bring an extra sweater or lightweight blanket for chilly nights, water purification tablets and enough dehydrated food for an additional day or two. If anyone on the trip had prescription medication that needed to be taken regularly, I may suggest that they bring along a little extra as well.

Worrying about something that might happen – or even something that is happening – isn’t as easy to do when I’ve thought it through and done everything I can in advance to prepare for something bad happening. This won’t work in every situation, of course,  but I’ve found that putting a little thought into what I’d do in one potential emergency limbers up my brain in the event that something happens that I hadn’t previously anticipated. And, more likely that not, this hypothetical trip would begin and end without a hitch.

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