6 Reasons Why I Don’t Wear Makeup

Reason #1: It’s expensive. The average woman will spend about $13,000 on makeup in her lifetime or about $200 a year. If I instead invested that $200 a year, assuming a 6% compound interest rate,  I’d have $34,866.68 in 40 years (unless the economy implodes, of course. 😉 )

Reason #2: Everyone else is doing it is a descriptive, not prescriptive, phrase.  When I was about twelve my Mom noticed that I wasn’t shaving my legs and told me that it was something I needed to start doing. In her mind it was part of being a woman. “I’ll shave my legs when Dad starts shaving his,” I said. She disagreed. So for a time I listened to her although I never was able to get any real answers as to why I was expected to do these things. Makeup, to me, belongs in the same category of cultural weirdness as expecting women to shave their legs or men to shave their faces. How is it of any concern to other people what sort of grooming or personal care one does or does not participate in?

Reason #3: The Story of Cosmetics.  

Reason #4: Almost every brand of makeup I’ve ever tried has aggravated the heck out of my skin.  After I stopped using anything other than soap and water on my face my acne and other skin issues cleared up almost completely.

Reason #5: I don’t like the way it feels. On the rare occasions that I do walk around with stuff on my face, I notice it all day. It itches, it tingles, and if I perspire it slumps into the creases between my nose and cheeks like half-melted snow in a ditch.

Reason #6: I like the way I look without it.

Ultimately I don’t care whether anyone else uses makeup, perfume, cologne or any of the other 1001 products that the media insists we need to purchase in order to have a happy, fulfilling life. What we need are more options than, “Of course you have to use these products, you’re a (wo)man!” or “It’s unprofessional not to use them,” or “You won’t be taken seriously without them!”

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Street Preachers I’d Like to Meet

One day I ‘d love to be stopped on the street by someone who says, “I don’t know whether or not there is a god. What do you think?” or “God loves everyone and all of us will end up in heaven eventually,” or even “Hello! my name is…”

It’s easier to find the motivation to spread the Good News, I’d imagine, if one genuinely believes that those who don’t convert are destined to be tortured eternally in the afterlife and that the world as we know it could end at any moment.

There generally isn’t the same sense of urgency or fear for those of us who do not share these beliefs.  Of course Theists who believe in hell are going to set up informational booths about Allah or Jehovah outside of my local mall every summer or stand on the corner preaching and giving away rosaries, Jack Chick tracts, or English translations of  the Koran to the people walking by.

While I highly value treating everyone with kindness, respect, and courtesy, I have no interest in becoming Muslim, Christian or anything else but many  street evangelists don’t seem to know how to respect personal boundaries or get to know me as an individual before they share the cure for what (they believe) ails me. If we could become friends first, if we could help one another move and bring over homemade chicken soup when the other person’s entire family catches the flu a week before Christmas, if we could laugh, grieve, and dream together then at some point I would become interested in talking about God, religion and what, if anything, lies beyond this world with them.

If only street evangelism was about asking open-ended questions, not inoculating strangers with one’s version of the truth. If only there were as many Buddhist, Taoist, Atheist, Universalist, Deist, Agnostic and other types of evangelists I’ve yet to meet sharing what they suspect may be the truth as there were hellfire-and-brimstone street preachers.

If only.

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Suggestion Saturday: August 7, 2010

Each weekend I will share a list of  blog posts, comic strips, poems, videos and/or other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

How to Say I Love You, The Equation.

The Algebra of love.

The Difference Between a Democracy and a Constitutional Democracy. This is a short segment from Rachel Maddow’s television show explaining the difference between a Democracy and a Constitutional Democracy. A one-sentence summary of the clip: in the latter we aren’t allowed to vote on other people’s rights.

12 Easy Ways to Use Less Plastic. Items made from plastic have become such an ubiquitous part of modern life. This blog shares a dozen practical tips for reducing the use of these materials without compromising quality of life.

How Has Abandoning Christianity Affected Your Family? Bruce Gerencser recently blogged about what life has been like for him, his wife and their six children since he de-converted from Christianity. It is one of my all-time favourite posts from his website.

The Idea Incubator – Work While You Sleep. This is a short video about brainstorming new ideas and solving business and personal problems while you sleep. I haven’t formed an opinion of this technique yet but I am intrigued by the concept of it.

Daodejing – Other Voices, Verse 78. Here’s a short quote from this blog post. It snagged my attention immediately:

Water doesn’t demand the rock gets out of its way, but it eventually wears it down or finds another route. If you find the essence of who you really are and comfortably follow that course, you’ll end up where you should be. Just be patient. With yourself and with others.

Radiance.  A poem about possibilities.

What have you been reading this week?

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Sharing Information

Drew tends to be very open about his beliefs. A few Thanksgivings ago his mother, a devout Christian, asked him to lead the family in prayer before we ate. We all bowed our heads and he began to pray, “Dear Buddha, please bless this food….” His sisters and I failed to stop laughing before their parents opened their eyes again.

Neither Drew nor I are Buddhist and I don’t know why he chose that particular teacher as the focus of that family prayer. He has always been honest about his convictions with everyone he meets, though, which often leads an ebb and flow of discussions about faith, philosophy and other topics over the years. One of the things I really admire about him is how eager he is to discuss and debate these things with anyone willing to join the discussion.

I prefer to stay out of these debates and to reveal my beliefs and other aspects of myself over time as they pop up in conversation. If a certain topic happens to come up in our first conversation, great! If not, no worries. This isn’t about hiding anything…I’m just much more comfortable letting people figure me out over time rather than handing them the official list of Things You Didn’t Know About Me ™ the first time we meet. Many of us, myself included, carry around strange, preconceived notions about certain groups, especially if they haven’t known very many people from that group before. It’s  easier to dislodge some of these ideas if others can begin to know one as a friend and as an individual before they figure you that you’re also [fill-in-the-blank ].  As always, I reserve the right to change my mind if I find a better way of making new friends. 😉

How do you decide when, where and with whom to share personal information?

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Objections to The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the idea that thoughts influence the chance of something happening. From what I understand of this principle, it teaches that what one thinks about most often is probably what is going to end up happening. If you worry about filing for bankruptcy or being diagnosed with terminal cancer your chances of developing these types of problems becomes much more likely. Conversely, the Law of Attraction also teaches that we are much more likely to become wealthy, healthy and successful if we truly believe in them. Your thoughts, then, become your reality, for good or for ill.

Drew, my significant other, suspects there might be something to the Law of Attraction. It is one of our few areas of friendly yet profound disagreement over the years. I have several major objections to his principle even as certain aspects of it do appeal to me.

Objection Number One: The existence of something doesn’t depend on what we thinks about it. Either it exists or it doesn’t exist, it works or doesn’t work. If my family doctor prescribed a round of antibiotics for me, for example,  she would never say, “Lydia, these antibiotics will only work if you truly believe you are feeling better before you take them!” The success or failure of the antibiotics may be influenced by the type of (hopefully not antibiotic-resistant) infection and whether I take all of the pills on time, but the thoughts I have while taking the medication isn’t going to have anything to do with how quickly it cures me.

Objection Number Two: Is a child who is being abused somehow creating his or her reality by thinking about it too much? If he or she thought happier thoughts would the abuse stop? All of the answers I’ve heard to these questions either assume that the abuse is the result of bad karma from a previous life or claim that child abuse will stop when the rest of us stop thinking about it.

Objection Number Three: Discrimination, whether it’s based on age, gender, social class, race, religion, country of origin, sexual orientation or other factors, is part of the social reality for billions of people on this planet. There are individuals and  groups in this world who will not give you a chance if you’re not part of the right crowd. It isn’t right, it often isn’t legal…but it still happens. The Law of Attraction cannot change this. We’ve been discriminating against one another for at least as long as we’ve had the written word.

Objection Number Four: What happens when it doesn’t work? From what I’ve read on this topic, many practitioners of the Law of Attraction say that people who try it without success weren’t trying hard enough or never really believed that they deserved the things they were attempting to attract. This reminds me of something a Christian family friend once told me: “You don’t really have an allergy to milk products, you just think you do. The devil is tricking you and if you really believe in God you’ll be able to eat or drink anything.” I wanted so badly to believe him that I tried a piece of milk chocolate. Yes, I was still allergic. It didn’t make any sense to me; at the time I was more dedicated to my faith than I ever had been before.

And Yet…there are aspects of the Law of Attraction with which I do agree.   Someone with an optimistic attitude who treats others with an abundance of kindness, generosity and respect is generally going to have an easier time in life than an individual who who expects the worst out of themselves and those around them and treats them accordingly. There are exceptions to this rule, of course, but most people align themselves with the former type of person, not the latter. Believing in oneself builds confidence and when others sense confidence in you they will change the ways in which they interact with you for the better.

In many ways, the Law of Attraction reminds me of prosperity theology. Both of these groups take nuggets of psychologically-alluring (and occasionally even true) information and wraps them in materialism, miracles, mythology, and self-blame.

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Introducing LydiaSchoch.com

Hello! I’m Lydia Schoch.

I wanted to formally introduce this blog and website to everyone.

The tabs at the top of this page will tell you about who I am as a person. They’ll also show you how to submit guest posts and where to find my books.

Today’s post is about this site in general.

What Is lydiaschoch.com about? 

Writing, science fiction, exercise, mindfulness, and the occasional funny story from my personal life.

Why isn’t there a contact form or comment section on this site?

While I deeply appreciated all of the real people who used them to reach out to me, the vast majority of the responses I received through those channels were from spammers and bots. It’s time for my inbox to stop being clogged up with suspicious links or garbled messages from pretty girls who think I’ll make a great husband. 😉

What is Suggestion Saturday?

Suggestion Saturday posts are a compilation of all kinds of stuff I’ve found online.

Typically they include at least some of the following things: poetry, comic strips, artwork, short sci-fi stories, or full-length articles about social issues that have caught my attention.

Three of the links in any given week come from folks I follow or have recently discovered on Twitter. It’s important to promote other people’s work, and this is such a fun way to do it.

If you have something that you’d like to see shared on a future Suggestion Saturday post, come tell me about it on Twitter. I’d love to check out what you’ve found.

Cheers,

Lydia

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