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I am an introvert because my emotional battery is charged up by being alone.
When I was a kid, introversion wasn’t understood as well as it is today. (Or at least not in the rural areas I grew up in where extroversion was a strong social norm and you were considered a little odd if you didn’t fit into that box. Cities might have been different in that regard as one could pick from a much wider range of social circles in such places!)
There are still misconceptions about it, of course, but now I find that most people are totally understanding when I say that I’ve had a wonderful time at massive social event X but will be taking some time for myself the next day or two to recharge my energy levels.
With that being said, I can behave a little like an extrovert under the right circumstances. There are certain people in my life I adore spending time with and who drain my introvert battery much more slowly than other folks do.
These people tend to be quiet, gentle, and kind souls who are also fellow introverts. (I love noisy, boisterous people, too, but it’s easier for me to spend long periods of time with folks who enjoy some friendly silence for part of our hangouts).
Some of us are naturally pretty far on one side of the spectrum or the other, but from what I’ve observed the majority of people seem to have aspects of both extroversion and introversion in their personalities depending on how much socialization they have or have not been getting recently and what else is going on in their lives.
For example, are they currently dealing with an injury or illness that drains their energy? Have they recently had a big change in their life like moving? Are they celebrating something exciting like a promotion, new addition to their family (whether pet or human), or graduating from college?
All of these things and more can nudge you firmly in one direction or the other at least temporarily in my experience.
I have family members who just can’t see how a person can enjoy being alone. I like the concept of an emotional battery.
I’m sorry to hear that, George.
But, yeah, it’s a very useful mental image.
I hate big crowds. A day or two at the Isotopes is enough for my wife and me a season ticket would ruin us if we had to put up with the constant hassle. Going to a small church is better than getting lost in the crowd of a big one. As a teacher I had to be “On” all day long and I needed alone time when I got home to as you say, “Recharge my batteries.”
I’m glad you have more quiet time now!
A close friend of mine is an incredibly charismatic and outgoing person — but on the weekends she prefers spending all day hiking alone, something that’s caused her issues because friends and the ex-husband couldn’t understand why she ‘didn’t want to spend time’ with them. Their hurt is understandable to do a degree, but no one can be “on” all the time.
Very interesting, Stephen! But, yeah, everyone needs downtime.
For some weeks I’ve been answering these questions but neglecting to link them. I’m trying to reform this week…
Good to know. It will be nice to see you on the list in the future. 🙂
I’m definitely an introvert. Even though I like people, my emotional battery is absolutely drained by them, especially certain types of people. Like you, I have an easier time spending long hours with people who are similar to me in personality. I’m glad that introversion is more understood these days. I was always trying to force myself to be more extroverted as a kid and it was exhausting!
Susan
http://www.blogginboutbooks.com
I totally agree with you there. What a refreshing change that has been.
And I’m not surprised that you’re a fellow introvert. 🙂
As a teacher, I’d say that there is greater understanding around introversion than there used to be and how “participation” is handled in assessment (though not by everyone). Misconceptions do still abound and I am always careful in my letter of recommendations for great students who are introverted lest I trigger bias in some admissions reader.
I’m so glad to hear that!