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Saying no to people is my greatest weakness. Sometimes I also have trouble reinforcing boundaries with people who won’t take no for an answer.
This is tied into my strong desire for peaceful interactions and my belief that there is a solution for every conflict out there.
Due to that, I do have a tendency to err on the side of peacemaking at times when I should be sticking up for myself better instead.
I’m working on changing this part of my personality.
It’s hard!
It’s hard sometimes to stick up for yourself when you know it’s going to end in a HUGE confrontation (this happens with my in-laws a lot. I want to stand up and say something, but no one will listen so there’s no point). I get it.
Yes, exactly. Sorry you have to deal with that, but I’m also glad someone understand. 🙂
Sometimes “NO” is the hardest word to use, especially with friends and family. Good wishes on your struggle to balance your needs with the needs of those around you. Being a caregiver is five times harder on you than those you care for.
Thank you! Yes, being a caregiver is hard for sure.
Lydia, thanks for stopping by and I sometimes think we’re sisters from another mister! I so get where you are coming from, and I do believe that the two are tied together. Peace at all cost.
You’re welcome.
Yes, we have so much in common! That’s pretty neat.
I struggled soooooo hard with being a people pleaser in my teens and twenties…even now I still struggle to say “no” because I just hate conflict, but I am getting better at it! It’s definitely a work in progress.
It seems to be a common thing people struggle with! I’m glad you’re improving.
I’m half Portuguese … we live to fight (loudly). LOL. I do choose my battles, but saying “no” isn’t that hard for me, unless you’re someone I love deeply.
In reading today’s posts, it seems you’re not alone in this!
Thank you!
I’m glad you don’t have trouble saying no to people.
Yes, this can be a real problem — I’m prone to extending the benefit of the doubt way too far, myself, to people who clearly didn’t deserve it. I think the basic instinct in both sound and admirable, but I wish I was better at picking up when someone isn’t interested in finding a good outcome for everyone.
I hear you there!
Maintaining boundaries is an ever present challenge. Mine are more fluid than I wish, but I’m working on it.
I wish you the best as you work at this. There are so many of us in the same boat!
I find that saying “NO” is easier the more I work with the public, in part because so many people know how to abuse the good nature of others. Or perhaps I’ve just gotten more calloused and hard over the years. I think my greatest weakness is a lack of vision: I’ve never had a Great Ambition to drive me forward in life, beyond creating a quiet life of simplicity and meaning, so I feel stagnant in some respects.
It’s great you’ve learned how to say no from working with the public!
If you did have a Great Ambition, do you have any idea what you’d pick?
When I was younger I didn’t have any ideas beyond being a husband & father — the job didn’t matter. That’s not a dream that’s panned out. Another identity I could embrace would be a ‘scop’/’skald’ — there’s not a word for it in English beyond the clumsy ‘folk historian’, but I’d like to do my part in learning and passing on traditional stories, knowledge, and skills. A keeper of history — not necessarily a history teacher, though that would be a practical possibility if college weren’t prohibitively expensive, and the educational culture so political and obnoxious these days.
Wow, that sounds so cool! If only there were a word for that in English. It’s definitely something that seems to happen in every culture and society.
Somebody needs to remember the past and pass those stories and lessons onto the next generation.
I had to learn to set boundaries with people, but it’s not something I am comfortable with. Especially with family members.
I’m glad you’re learning to set boundaries. Good for you.
Setting them with family can be hard for sure!
I’m also terrible at saying no. I’ve never got out of that habit.
Sorry you have the same trouble, but I’m glad you get it.
Saying no can be difficult, especially with people you care about.
Absolutely!