April 17, 2017 · 1:00 am

The Top 5 Must-Haves If You Want to Start Exercising

If you haven’t exercised in years, what equipment do you really need to get started? What is optional? What items can be skipped or put off until later? What can be bought second-hand?

All of these questions will be answered in today’s post.

1. Comfortable Shoes and Clothes

Nearly all of my workout clothing is old, mismatched, and basically impossible to ruin. I have one sports bra that I wear when I’m overheated or for activities that work better if my outfit isn’t so loose. There are times when it’s safer to avoid flowy fabrics or fits, although most of my workouts can be done with any kind of clothing that allows a full range of movement.

Since a lot of the exercise I get is in the form of brisk walking, I specifically buy shoes based on how well they can stand up to a lot of wear and tear. I don’t have a problem spending more on them than is strictly necessary because of how much use I get out of them.

If you already have a pair of sneakers, keeping using them until they need to be replaced. If not, this is one of the few things that I’ll recommend getting immediately. You don’t have to spring for the most expensive pair of sneakers, but make sure you get something comfortable that supports and protects your feet.

Don’t spend money on new workout clothes in the beginning unless you genuinely don’t have anything to wear. Once you know whether you’re going to spend most of your time doing, you’ll have a much better understanding of what – if anything – you actually need.

After all of my stuff finally wears out, I will probably upgrade to a matching outfit or two if I can find a good deal on them. There are some cute styles out there these days that I’d like to try. This is definitely not necessary, though. The workouts will be the same regardless of what you wear.

2.  Hand or Free Weights

I’m assuming here that you do not have a gym membership. If you do, consider this one optional.

Yes, you can build up your strength doing nothing but bodyweight exercises. Some of my weightlifting routine each week includes these moves, but it didn’t when I first began because I wasn’t strong enough to do a full pushup yet.

It wasn’t until I moved down to a less challenging set of moves that I was able to actually start making progress with those fitness goals.

The nice thing about a pair of hand-weights is that you can start off at any level of strength you currently have. I’ve known people who began with 1-, 3- or 5-pound weights and moved up from there.

Dumbbells are also useful once you become too strong to be challenged by bodyweight exercises. Someday I’d love to lift weights as large as the woman on the right is. I think I’ll make it there eventually!

This is something that can be bought secondhand if you’re looking to save money. Weights wear out incredibly slowly, so you’ll almost certainly outgrow them before they’ve outlived their usefulness.

3. A Yoga Mat

I’m still using the same yoga mat I did when I first began working out again several years ago.

This isn’t something you need to spend a lot of money on. I picked the least expensive one I could find, and it still looks pretty good after years of regular use.  You can get a pricier one if you want, but the cheap ones are perfectly serviceable.

Comfort is the biggest reason why I so strongly recommend picking up a yoga mat up as soon as possible. I have hardwood floors in my home, so lying or sitting on the floor for any kind of workout routine quickly becomes uncomfortable. This is especially true when I’m trying to hold a difficult pose or support my weight on one leg.

The other nice thing about this piece of equipment is that it reframes the space you’re working out in. When my mat is unrolled, I know it’s time to push myself to finish that workout. After I roll it up again, I feel psychologically prepared to transition to whatever it is I’ll be doing next that day.

4. A Water Bottle

Every year I have to remind myself to drink more water when the temperatures warm up again. It is very easy to get a little dehydrated when you’re exercising outside under the glare of the sun.

One of the few fitness-related items I’m thinking about getting this year is a reusable water bottle. I had one years ago that eventually broke. It’s high time that I replaced it based on how rare it is to find a drinking fountain in Toronto. I can get by with visiting fountains in certain parts of the city, but other sections are sorely lacking in this department.

A water bottle is a good investment for beginners. They are inexpensive unless you purposefully decide to buy something fancy that’s designed for a specific sport like running. Water is also something that everyone needs during or after a workout.

If you don’t happen to need a water bottle after all, great! I do recommend picking one up if you’ll be spending time outdoors or in any place where it’s difficult to find a drink.

 

5. Determination

If only I could sell you an ounce of pure determination!

This sadly can’t be bought in any store, but it is one of the most important things you’ll need as you begin your new exercise routine.

There will be hard days. You might try a new workout and wonder if you’ll ever be able to do the whole way through without needing a break.

They’ll either get easier over time or you’ll find a different form of exercise that suits you better. In the meantime, determination will see you through the rough spots.

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April 15, 2017 · 1:00 am

Suggestion Saturday: April 15, 2017

 Here is this week’s list of links from my favourite corners of the web.

How to Banish Negativity with This Simple Mind Tool via dlhampton. Just because it’s simple doesn’t mean that it’s easy. It does work, though!

Happy Beaster. No, that isn’t a typo. What if the Easter Bunny wasn’t the only animal who brought you treats at this time of the year? Click on the link to read more.

Sadie and Maude. This made me smile. I wish there was more to it.

The Girl Who’s Going to Survive Your Horror Movie. Don’t worry,  this isn’t gory or scary at all. I actually found it kind of amusing.

You Can Now Buy a Calendar Full of Hairy Men Dressed as Fairies.  I saved this to share with you on Easter weekend because I think the next step should be for these guys to dress up as the Easter Bunny. Haha!

Happy Passover via JWilck. Oh, this was too funny.

Why Are Black Girls Missing via VIE_IS_ME. There are heartbreaking stories behind every one of these disappearances. I liked how this post explained what’s happening and how society can try to prevent it in the future.

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April 13, 2017 · 1:00 am

Why I’m Tired of Stories About the Chosen One

I’ve been reading less speculative fiction this year. One of the things that has reduced how much of it I read has to do with the concept of the Chosen One and how overused it is in this genre.

There are a few different reasons why I’m quickly losing interest in stories about people who have been chosen to save their village, humankind, or the entire universe from whatever it is that is threatening their existence.

1. The Chosen One Doesn’t Earn His or Her Place

As I mentioned last month in Scifi and Fantasy Rules That Should Be Broken, heroes in science fiction and fantasy usually aren’t people who have any special training or education. They’re the Chosen One because of who their parents are, what an ancient prophecy foretold, or whether or not Voldemort tried to curse them to death when they were a baby.

If this happened occasionally, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. There is definitely something to be said for showing that heroes can come from anywhere.

The fact that it’s so prevalent, though, makes me feel uneasy. Education and experience are a positive thing. I’d never go to a doctor or dentist who had somehow skipped medical/dental school and was just winging it when it came to diagnosing an infection or deciding if I had a cavity.

So it feels strange for the fate of the entire world to be regularly handed to people who don’t have any unique skills or advanced training whatsoever.

At this point, I’d much rather read about someone who has spent or will spend years studying magic/spaceships/medicine / the dark arts. Show me some of the times they failed terribly and what they learned from it. Let me see them struggle with something that other people in their field generally don’t find difficult like casting a spell or putting on a spacesuit.

I want heroes who have earned the respect they get!

2. The Chosen One Is Often Less Interesting Than Their Sidekicks.

Case in point: Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

There was nothing unlikeable about Buffy. She was generally a kind and courteous girl, and I was fascinated by her adjustment to becoming the most recent Slayer. (That is, a teen girl who was given supernatural strength and healing abilities so that she could save the world from everything that wanted to destroy it. The previous Slayer has to die before the next one is supernaturally chosen).

The problem was that Buffy’s sidekicks were much more relatable and complex than she was. Giles, her watcher (which is like a personal trainer for mystical stuff), was as mystified by teenagers as he was by American culture in general. His very British reactions to some of the biggest differences between the U.S. and England were hilarious.  Willow, her female best friend, was a shy, awkward nerd who had a strong perfectionistic streak. Xander, her male best friend, was a slacker and class clown who hid a lot of painful truths behind his wisecracks and hijinks.

Buffy’s character development simply wasn’t as compelling as the development of those closest to her. She was already athletic, (fairly) popular, self-confident, and tough when the show began. I liked her, but I loved her inner circle because of how much more attention had been paid to the little things that made them unique.

Many Chosen Ones have the same problem. They are so busy saving the world that they often don’t get to develop a well-rounded set of quirks, weird habits, phobias, and/or non-superficial character flaws that their side-kicks get to have.

I want heroes who are deliciously imperfect. Maybe their sidekicks could be stronger, more assertive, or better looking than them. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how a main character would respond to a friend or assistant who intimidated them a little bit or who was better at certain crucial skills than they were?

3. The Chosen One Never Dies in the End

As much as I liked him, Harry Potter really should have been killed off permanently at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

All of the foreshadowing up until that point nudged the readers into this direction. It felt strange to me to see Harry walk away from that final battle. While I knew that J.K. Rowling would try to figure out how to save him because of how rare it is for a protagonist to die in the end, that wasn’t the direction the storyline had been pointing at for all seven books in the series.

After the narrator cut away to show how all of his friends put wizarding society back together after Voldemort is finally defeated, there could have been a beautiful scene showing him reuniting with his parents in the afterlife and realizing that he was finally at peace now.

I could also imagine Harry having a conversation with his parents about wanting to go back to Earth. Maybe his mother would tell him that it was impossible, but that he would be reunited with Ron, Hermione, and everyone else he loved after they’d finished living out the long, full lives that wizards usually get to experience.

There could even be a line in there about how time moves quite differently after death so that the audience would know Harry wouldn’t be missing his friends for as long as we might assume.

Yes, this would have been a tearjerker of an ending, but it also would have tied up all of the foreshadowing in the earlier books much more tightly than technically killing Harry off for a few minutes before finding a magical loophole to bring him back to life again.

I want to start genuinely fearing for the safety of the characters I love. It would be so cool to arrive at the final scene of a story and not know who – if anyone – was going to make it out again. No, I’m not saying that every final confrontation has to be a bloodbath. That would quickly become just as predictable as things are currently.

It would be really nice if there were far fewer last-minute plot twists that allowed characters to live when the first 99% of a book or series foreshadowed their deaths, though.

How do you feel about the Chosen One trope? Do you enjoy it? Do you think it’s been played out? I’ll be talking about this on Twitter today if you’d like to chat about it.

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April 10, 2017 · 1:00 am

Can You Be Mindful and Angry at the Same Time?

One of the things I find most challenging about practicing mindfulness is doing it when I’m angry. While I’m not the kind of person who loses their temper easily, I do have a tendency to ruminate on whatever is making me mad beyond the point where such an act still remains useful.

There was a time when I felt guilty about this. I wished I didn’t feel angry in those situations and that I could find  it easier to brush those feelings aside when they did pop up.  Even though I’m pretty good at responding to those things calmly when they are happening, I saw others looking far calmer than I felt when they were in the same kind of situation.

You see, I was comparing how I felt on the inside to how other people were acting. The interesting thing about this is that I had no idea what those other people were thinking about when they responded so calmly.

How someone behaves doesn’t always match up with how they’re feeling inside. For all I know, they could have been looking at my response and wondering the same thing about me. The first time I realized this, I literally laughed out loud.

The cool thing about practicing mindfulness is that it doesn’t require you to change how you feel. In fact, changing how you feel isn’t the point of it at all.

There’s No Such Thing as a “Bad” Emotion

Anger in and of itself isn’t helpful or harmful. Everything depends on what you do with that emotion and what thoughts you entertain when you feel it.

Do you jump to conclusions about what will happen in the future because you’re mad right now? Do you try to suppress it? Do you look for someone to blame for it? Do you assume it will last forever?

On the positive side, can you embrace the fact that this is how you’re feeling right now? Do you think back to other times in your life when you felt this way and remember how you dealt with them? Does your anger prompt you to do something to improve the situation if that’s possible?

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle every negative emotion that exists.

Mindfulness Isn’t About Always Being Zen

If the only people in this world who were allowed to practice mindfulness were the ones who are always patient and understanding when they were irritated by the people, places, or circumstances in their lives, there would only be about three of them on the entire planet…and I wouldn’t be one of them.

When I’m angry, I do my best to stop and experience that emotion without judging it or making any assumptions about what it means, whether it’s justified, how I’ll feel in the future, or how I think I should be feeling about it instead.

This is a much easier thing to talk about than it is to actually practice. I’m not going to tell you that I always succeed at simply feeling my emotions without assigning value to them or wishing they were different. Like you, I’m a human being. I have days when I live in the moment really well, and other days when I feel much more like this cat:

(I don’t normally include gifs in my posts, but this one was the perfect illustration for this point. It’s fun to imagine that this cat is a master of mindfulness when she’s not pushing everything off of the desk she’s sitting on. Who knows? Maybe she’s even figured out how to live in the moment while being mischievous!)

You’re in Control of the Process

There have been times when I’ve brushed an emotion aside not because I’m trying to avoid feeling it but because I’ve sat with it long enough.

Just because you’re mad right now doesn’t mean you’ll feel the same way five minutes, two days, or a month from now.

This is by far one of my favourite things about remembering to be mindful when I’m pissed off about something.

There is no handbook that says you can’t change your mind or that you’re only allowed to feel mad for X number of minutes at a time. The freedom of knowing I can sit with my anger for as long as is necessary actually makes me less likely to hold onto it.

It’s like telling a child that they’re only ever allowed to have one cookie regardless of how old they’ve become versus slowly allowing them to decide for themselves what they do and don’t eat.

By letting go of all expectations of what you’re support to do, it becomes much easier to stop after one cookie (or one wave of ire, in this case).

What Mindful Anger Looks Like

Mindful anger is…

  • Non-judgemental
  • Not attached to any one particular outcome
  • Open to change
  • Focused on what has already happened, not what might happen in the future
  • Honest
  • Aware and accepting of other emotions like fear or envy that could be the cause of it
  • Not vengeful

I hope you found this post helpful. If you have anything to add to this post, please let me know!

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April 8, 2017 · 1:00 am

Suggestion Saturday: April 8, 2017

Here is this week’s list of comic strips and other links from my favourite corners of the web.

Found a Baby Bird? I can’t remember if I’ve shared this infographic with you on a previous Suggestion Saturday post or not. It is a good reminder of what to do if you find a baby bird at this time of year, though.

If We Survive the Night. The twist at the end of this story was brilliant. (Fair warning: it’s a horror story, but don’t let that stop you if you’re not typically a fan of this genre. It’s fantastic and not at all what you might expect).

Discovering You’re Bi: What People Think vs. What It’s Really Like. I couldn’t stop gigging. This hit the nail on the head.

A Cure for Melancholy: Victorian Medical Advice on Treating Depression via MimiMatthewsEsq. This was fascinating.

The Ugly Industry: How the Beauty Industry Makes You Feel Worthless via WMASLAM63323693. What a great post. When I avoid advertisements, I’m surprised by how much less I think about being beautiful.

Magic Dog Vomits Any Liquid Required for Him via TarkabarkaHolgy. I’m sharing this with you because it is by far the strangest folktale I’ve heard of in my entire life…and I’ve read a lot of folktales! It’s hard to imagine how and why someone came up with it. Did they have a pet dog who vomited a lot? Was it a retelling of a nightmare? We’ll never know, but it’s still fun to think about.

Rainy Day Reading. Toronto has been getting a ton of rain this past week. Yes, this comic strip is an accurate picture of how I’ve been passing the time.

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April 6, 2017 · 1:00 am

The 10 Best Blogs to Follow If You Love Science Fiction and Fantasy

Every once in a while I like to google questions like “what are the best blogs to follow if you’re a huge fan of [fill in the blank]”?

Google will give you hundreds of hits when you search for something like this, but there are a lot of gems out there that are easy to overlook if you’re not willing to scroll through dozens of pages of results. Sometimes they might not even show up at all depending on what keywords you use!

This post is the beginning of a series I’ll be doing on the topic of small(er) sites that deserve much more praise than they’re currently getting. I won’t be numbering my posts because I have no idea how many posts will eventually be included in this category. All of them will be tagged with Best of Lists…, though, so that new readers will be able to scroll through all of them in the future and hopefully find some great new sites to visit.

Today I will be talking about the 10 best sci-fi and fantasy blogs that you might not have heard of yet but should definitely be checking out.

Surreal Situations

This is a  whimsical comic strip by my friend Michael Mock about a small group of action figures trying to survive in a world that is overrun with zombies.

What I like the most about it is how many funny moments Michael has managed to fit into a storyline that’s quite serious overall. He’s good at making me smile one minute and gasp the next.

The first panel of the first strip in this series is on the left.

 

The Setup Wizard.

Okay, so I thought that everyone had already heard of this blog, but every time I mention I meet at least one person who has no idea what I’m talking about. I am including it here to make sure that every fan of Harry Potter and/or tech support culture has had a chance to read it.

Imagine being a muggle who has been hired by Hogwarts to provide IT support. You had no idea that wizards exist, and they still don’t know how the hell the Internet works.

Nearly everything that could go wrong with such an arrangement has gone wrong so far, from students pulling pranks to all kinds of magical creatures wreaking havoc on muggle technology. I can’t recommend this one highly enough.

 

Queer Sci Fi

I’ve read a lot of Queer science fiction that I happened to stumble upon over the years, but until recently I didn’t know there was a specific place for talking about this specific corner of the sci-fi market.

This site has everything from book reviews to interviews to discussion groups that are always open to new members. Now that I know it exists, I am really looking forward to finding some great new reads over there.

 

Biology in Science Fiction 

One of the rules I made for myself when I started working on this post was that every site I linked to needed to have been updated at least once since the beginning of 2017.

Well, I just broke that rule. I’ve been reading the old posts and am fascinated by all of the scientific explanations for how certain science fiction and fantasy creatures would actually behave, live, breed, and die.

And who knows? Maybe there’s a slim chance the author will notice that their blog is still getting attention and decide to start updating it again!

 

Could This Happen? 

This is similar to Biology in Science Fiction except that it’s about the science of speculative fiction in general.

It’s been a long time since I took any science classes, so I often wonder if the chemistry, physics, geology, zoology, or botany in a story is anywhere close to how things would really be if that kind of spaceship/ecosystem/device/planet really existed.

The fact that there’s a site dedicated to answering these questions makes me happy.

 

Tobias Buckell

I’ve never met Tobias, although he is friends with a couple of my extended family members. What I like the most about his blog is how much of his own personality and interests he adds to it.

I love it when people – and especially authors –  mix science fiction in with whatever else they enjoy in their lives. It gives you such a well-rounded understanding of who they are as people.

 

Black Girls Create

I still haven’t had a chance to explore all of the links on this site, but Hogwarts BSU is my favourite part of it so far if you’re going to make me pick only one section to begin with.

Be sure to give yourself a lot of time to look around when you visit. There are so many different sections that you’ll want to make sure you get a good look at everything.

 

Speculating Canada: Canadian Horror, Science Fiction, and Fantasy 

This is another one of those blogs that I only recent discovered. It seem to be a mishmash of all kinds of science fiction and fantasy. I’m assuming that’s because Canada is a much smaller country than the U.S., so our speculative community is also smaller.

I really like seeing everything kept together, though. It’s introduced me to some titles that I almost certainly wouldn’t have otherwise heard of.

 

Good Show Sir

This blog shows nothing but terrible science fiction and fantasy book covers from many different eras.

My first impulse when I see a cover like that in many circumstances is to read the blurb. It would take a much worse set of cover art than most of the things I’ve seen on this site to keep me away entirely, although I will admit to being ocasssionally so turned off by a truly awful cover that I don’t even give the story inside a chance.

With that being said, some wonderful books have awful covers, and some awful books have wonderful covers. You won’t know for sure whether a story appeals to until you take the time to dig a little deeper.

 

Unfridged

Sexism, racism, and other forms of prejudice definitely aren’t new in the sci-fi realm, but times are changing for the better. This site talks about how the SFF community can improve, what sci-fi books and shows are doing a good job at being inclusive, and which ones still need some work.

It’s also one of the funniest sites I’ve come across in a long time.

 

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April 3, 2017 · 1:00 am

5 Fitness Rules You Should Break

One of the most interesting things about fitness culture is how many different rules there are about what you are and are not supposed to do in order to get healthier. I’ve learned so much about the art of staying fit by listening to what other ordinary people find helpful.

There is a lot of fantastic information out there about what you should be doing, but today I wanted to talk about fitness rules that should be broken instead of being followed.

No Pain, No Gain

Of course there are times when I’m a little sore during or after a workout, but I genuinely enjoy the time I spend exercising overall. It feels good to get my blood pumping as I learn a new move or break a new record. Achieving small goals like that are what keep me motivated as I push through tough or new workouts.

If whatever I’m doing starts to genuinely hurt, though, I take it as a sign that I shouldn’t be doing that particular activity for now. Often it’s okay again if I ease back on how quickly I’m doing it or if I move to a lighter set of weights. Over the longterm, I can almost always work up to whatever it was that was too hard to do the first time I tried it.

There’s a difference between pushing yourself to run a little faster or lift harder this time and risking an injury by ignoring your pain.

If it isn’t fun on at least some level, don’t do it.

Work Out No Matter What the Weather Is Like 

Here in Toronto we occasionally get warnings about smog, snowstorms, fog, sleet, snow, heat waves, or cold snaps. As much as I like exercising outdoors, these days are not safe and healthy ones to do anything active outdoors. This is even more true for people with pre-existing health conditions like asthma.

Other areas of the world have different warnings. I have relatives whose lives are occasionally put on hold by haboobs (dust storms). When I say their lives are put on hold, I mean that they have to stop whatever they’re doing, find shelter, and wait for the storm to pass. One time one of them even got stuck on the side of the road for a little while because all of that dust would have badly damaged the engine of their car if they had kept driving through it.

There are times when it can be downright dangerous to go for a jog or do other strenuous activities if the weather in your community is really bad. I have a full repertoire of workouts that can be done in my apartment or other places indoors when the weather isn’t cooperative. If it’s extremely smoggy or humid, I might not exercise at all that day depending on what the air conditioning situation is like and how my lungs are feeling.

Missing one workout isn’t going to make a big difference in the scheme of things. Safety always has to come first.

Make It a Competition

Some people thrive on competition, but I find that kind of motivation to be demoralizing instead of encouraging. I really don’t enjoy pitting people against each other. This is especially true when it comes to something as individualized as how or when you work out.

Part of the reason why I dislike making exercise competitive is that I have a few friends who are living with various illnesses and disabilities that restrict how much energy and strength they have. They are simply not physically capable of doing a lot of things that I can do without a second thought. There are other people I know who are in much better shape than I am. In all of these cases, the competition wouldn’t be a fair one because we’d be coming from such different starting points.

Even when we’re more or less evenly matched in strength and overall fitness, some of my other friends  participate in types of exercise that are so different from what I do that it’s almost impossible to compare them. For example, how on earth would you compare swimming to jogging? What about tai chi to a team sport like volleyball? There’s no easy way to weigh things like these, especially when you factor in the different fitness levels and physical abilities of everyone involved.

The final problem I have with it is that I believe exercise should be fun for everyone. As someone who isn’t competitive, having only one winner at the end of it makes me not want to play at all.

Why not focus on having a great time instead?

It’s cool if other people want to compete with each other to stay motivated, but I’d much rather encourage everyone at whatever it is they enjoy doing and not worry about who “won” in the end. If you’ve found a sustainable way to stay active, you’re a winner in my book!

All You Need Is One Routine

Confession: I was guilty of this one myself when I first started working out. I stuck with the same cardio and light hand weight routine for a long time and was a bit hesitant to try anything new because of how much I liked what I was currently doing.

All of that exercise was still very good for me, but I didn’t realize how much more I was capable of until I started branching out. Dancing and bodyweight videos on Youtube made my muscles ache in ways they hadn’t ached since I first started working out. It was also much more mentally stimulating than doing the same routine day after day. I had to learn how to move my body in new ways and try stuff I’d never considered doing before.

This has become even more true as I explore what yoga routines work best for me. Once again, I’ve been thrown into an entirely new way of working out that’s challenging and exciting.

Food Is Nothing But Fuel

Yes, having a healthy diet is important. One of the things that alarms me about certain parts of fitness culture, though, is how they focus on the physical effects of food so much that they sometimes forget the other meanings it can have.

Sharing food is a sign of love and friendship in many cultures. Some of the best memories of my childhood involved spending time with my extended family as they cooked a big meal. My grandmother has a huge dining room table that gets filled up with family members at the holidays and on other special occasions.

Anywhere between some and most of the food served there would come from my grandparents’ farm depending on what time of year it was and what we’re eating.

There are a lot of fresh vegetables from the garden in the summer, but in the winter we eat more bread and meat instead.

While I wouldn’t recommend doing this every day, eating a specific treat can also be emotionally satisfying. For example, my mom and I used to drive to a nearby city to buy dairy-free chocolate bars when I was a teenager. We lived in a small, rural town at the time that had almost nothing in the way of specialty foods for people with dietary restrictions, so these trips were a wonderful glimpse into how people in more populated areas lived.

Once or twice a year, I’ll buy a couple of bars of dairy-free chocolate and think happy thoughts about that part of my childhood. Those extra calories are easily burned away over the next few months until I treat myself again.

How about you? What fitness rules do you think should be broken? Come over and tell me about it on Twitter today!

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April 1, 2017 · 1:00 am

Suggestion Saturday: April 1, 2017

Here is this week’s list of comic strips and other links from my favourite corners of the web.

Non-Mythical Beasts. If you’ve ever wished that there could be dragons in the real world, this comic strip is for you.

The Water Cycle. This was too funny.

The Non-Complaint Department via notquiteold. I absolutely loved this.

The Myth of Not Aging via RADnursing. The only alternative to growing older is to die young. I like this post’s healthy attitude to aging.

Yuval Harari on Why Humans Won’t Dominate Earth in 300 Years. While I’m not entirely sure that I agree with the premise of this article, it still challenged me to think.

Accidental Therapists: For Insect Detectives, the Trickiest Cases Involve the Bugs That Aren’t Really There. This was simply fascinating.

From A Conversation About Science via MoxieJavi‬:

As an environmentalist and a concerned citizen, it is alarming that science has become so politicized. After all, scientific inquiry is what has brought us into the 21st century and continues to teach us more about the world and universe in which we live.

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March 30, 2017 · 1:00 am

How to Convince Someone to Try Something You Love

One of the first things my spouse introduced me to after we moved in together was the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I don’t remember exactly what he said about it when he mentioned wanting to watch it with me, but I do remember his excitement. He was sure I was going to love that series as much as he did. (Spoiler alert: he was right!)

Last year I felt that same surge of excitement when I heard that one of my favourite books of all time, The Handmaid’s Tale, was going to be turned into a series. While my husband read that story years ago, I wasn’t entirely sure if he was planning to watch it with me when I first brought up the idea. I grinned as soon as he said he was willing to give it a try.

If there’s a book, album, song, TV show, or movie you’ve been wanting to share with someone, keep these tips in mind when you’re explaining to them why you think they’d love it as much as you do.

Clearly Explain Why You Love It

My spouse told me that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was science fiction, horror, satire, comedy, romance, and drama all rolled into one. He gave examples of these elements of the plot that were as specific as they could be without giving away any spoilers.

I was immediately intrigued. Stories often jump between two or even three genres, but I’d never heard of one that tried to be so many different things at once. It was even more interesting to think that this had been a success!

The fact that he could so clearly explain how all of those genres came to be fused into one single tale made me want to give it a try.

Be Honest About Its Faults

Every time I recommend Jean M. Auel’s Earth’s Children series to someone, I make sure to note that the storytelling changes a lot from the first book to the last one. I have a strong preference for the writing style of the first few books, and I’m not afraid to tell people that.

This doesn’t mean I’m any less a fan of her work. There are other stories that I enjoy even though they presented certain groups in stereotypical ways or were a little problematic in general. You can love something and still see things in it that you really wish had been told in a different way for any number of reasons.

If someone can admit that their favourite piece of pop culture isn’t perfect, it makes me more willing to give that book or show a try. There’s a fine line between being excited about something and overlooking any flaws it may have.

Pick the Best Part (or Explain Why You Can’t)

My favourite singers have certain songs that I would immediately start playing if someone asked me why I enjoyed their music so much. In some cases, this would mean jumping back and forth by years or even decades in their catalogue.

There’s always time to go back and fill in the gaps later if the other person happens to like my suggestion and it’s something that can be listened to or watched in any order without messing up the flow of the storytelling

This isn’t possible in some cases, of course. A TV show that builds complex and interrelated storylines over time might not make sense if you jump into the middle of season 4. Sometimes you really do have to start at the beginning. Buffy’s first season wasn’t the best part of that show, but it still needs to be watched in order to understand what happens later and why certain things were foreshadowed early on.

Be Prepared to Accept No for an Answer

Not everyone will become a fan of the new things they try. For example, I watched several Doctor Who episodes before deciding that it’s not my cup of tea and I won’t be watching it again. There were a few specific scenes that I enjoyed, but the storylines in general simply don’t appeal to me.

One of the things I admire in a person is the ability to accept that not everyone will love the same things they do. People’s preferences are complicated. Sometimes those preferences can shift over time, but in other cases someone is never going to love that thing that you can’t get enough of.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Recommending Stuff is a Two-Way Street

There’s something fascinating about getting to know someone by paying close attention to what they do and don’t like. As much as I want to recommend The Handmaid’s Tale to everyone I meet, someone who doesn’t like speculative or dystopian fiction wouldn’t be a good match for this tale.

I appreciate it when others give me this same level of attention. Over the years I’ve tried all kinds of things that I wouldn’t normally read, listen to, or watch. Sometimes I end up enjoying them, and sometimes I don’t. I especially like trading ideas with people who take my suggestions seriously as well.

Recommending stuff is like dancing with someone. There’s a natural pattern of give and take to it that works beautifully if everyone involved understands the rhythm.

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March 29, 2017 · 1:00 am

Interview with Apex Magazine Editor Lesley Conner

This post is part of the subscription drive for my all-time favourite science fiction and fantasy magazine, Apex Magazine. Lesley Conner is one of the editors who works there, and she was kind enough to stop by here today and answer a few questions. I hope you’ll check out the other interviews in this drive as well!

What would you like to see more of in the submissions to Apex Magazine?

Ooo, great question! I would love to see more sci-fi stories in the slush. We get some, but I seem to read a lot more magical realism or fantasy stories than I do science fiction. And we’re not looking for straight up sci-fi, something-is-wrong-with-the-ship, oh-no-we’re-going-down! stories. I read a LOT of those. Give me something more than that, more than man/woman in space in peril. I’d love see more stories like “The Laura Ingalls Experience” by Andrew Neil Gray, “Soursop” by Chikodili Emelumadu, or “1957” by Stephen Cox.

What have been a few of your favourite stories that were published here so far?

Well, I’m a big fan of all three stories I mentioned in the first question. In addition to those, I absolutely love “She Gave Her Heart, He Took Her Marrow” by Sam Fleming, “The Gentleman of Chaos” by A. Merc Rustad, and “Next Station, Shibuya” by Iori Kusano. Each of those moved me as a reader and excited me as an editor.

Oh, and “Blood on Beacon Hill” by Russell Nichols! That story is so much fun to read!

Little bit of a sneak peek: we have a story coming out in the May issue by Evan Dicken called “How Lovely is the Silence of Growing Things.” Read it! You do not want to miss that story! It is amazing!

 Have you ever had a dream about one of the stories that was submitted to you? If so, which one was it? If not, which story do you think would provide the most interesting fodder for a dream?

I don’t think I’ve ever had a dream about any of the stories submitted to us. If I have, I’m not remembering them now, but a lot of the stories have realities that would be make interesting—if not terrifying—dreamscapes. Immediately “Screaming Without a Mouth” by Travis Heermann and “Aishiteru Means I Love You” by Troy Tang come to mind. *shudders* Both of those stories stuck with me long after I finished reading them and I could see them causing a few nightmares.

By the way, Troy Tang wrote this absolutely horrifying story about abuse and self-loathing that questions whether or not doing horrific things to an artificial intelligence is it still wrong and loathsome—after all, they aren’t living—and he is one of the sweetest individuals I have ever worked with. Working with him was a lovely experience and I’m so glad we were able to bring his story to the world, even if it does continue to haunt me to this day. Just goes to show that stories a person writes do not reflect who they are.

How often do you and Jason disagree on whether or not to accept a story? How do you resolve those conflicts when they occur?

Honestly, Jason and I don’t disagree on stories very often. I think that’s one of the things that makes us a good editing team—we have the same vision for what types of stories we want to see in Apex Magazine, so we don’t spend a lot of time arguing over one story or another. We do discuss a lot of stories before deciding one way or the other on it, but that’s usually to talk through one or more aspects that may not be sitting quite right with us. Jason passes on stories that I like all the time, but most of the time if I’m absolutely in love with a story, he likes it too, and you end up reading it in a future issue of Apex Magazine. If he doesn’t, well then, Jason will pass on it. He’s the editor-in-chief, so when it comes right down to it, he makes the final call.

Lesley Conner is a writer/editor, managing editor of Apex Publications and Apex Magazine, and a Girl Scout leader. When she isn’t handling her editorial or Girl Scout leader responsibilities, she’s researching fascinating historical figures, rare demons, and new ways to dispose of bodies, interweaving the three into strange and horrifying tales. Her short fiction can be found in Mountain Dead, Dark Tales of Terror, A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre, as well as other places. Her first novel The Weight of Chains was published by Sinister Grin Press in September, 2015. Best of Apex Magazine: Volume 1 marks her debut experience in anthology editing. She lives in Maryland with her husband and two daughters, and is currently working on a new novel. To find out all her secrets, you can follow her on Twitter at @LesleyConner.

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