Lydia Schoch

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The best cities are full of warm, inviting public spaces like this one. I’ve lived in Toronto for about 9 years and still haven’t discovered all it has to offer.

I also thought this video was a nice follow-up to my last post here.

Photo by Ralf Ostermann.

As I’ve mentioned several times on this blog recently, I’ve been quite antsy for spring to arrive this year.

Combine a long, cold winter with living in a bachelor apartment and one ends up with cabin fever after a few months.

Yesterday was the first semi-warm day we’ve had in 2014. Drew and I celebrated by buying vegan donuts and taking a nice, long walk.

I’d been looking forward to this sort of thing for so many months that it took me a little bit to settle into it. Is it going to get really hot outside in a week or two like it did last April? I wonder if there’s any truth to the theory that cold winters lead to hot summers? 

My mind was so focused on what ifs that I barely noticed the first dog we passed.

And then we saw another one. And another one.

Scruffy dogs and white, fluffy dogs who had clearly recently been to the groomer. Chubby puppies and skinny ones. Toy poodles wearing adorable, fitted jackets and a gentle Marmaduke look-alike who probably weighs more than I do.

Every one of them was gleefully happy to be outside, though.  There was prancing, sniffing, and one cute little guy who got so excited he accidentally flipped himself over after his human tried to encourage him to keep walking. He’d suddenly become mesmerized by a flower planter. The scents that tickled his nose from it must have been glorious.

None of them thought about the future. They were just happy to be outside on a clear, blue day and feel the first tinge of warmth from the sun we’ve noticed in months.

As I watched them I felt all of my other thoughts melt away.  As someone who spends so much time thinking about the future it was refreshing to step away from it for a little while.

Maybe I should take walks more often.

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, poems, comic strips, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

I Think I Was a “Slut” in My 20’s via AwkwardGirlLA. This is a really interesting blog post about what women have to do in order to be considered “sluts.”

Close Call.  Funny stuff.

We Are Not Given a Good Life or a Bad Life. My thoughts exactly.

Narcissus via jdubquca. This feels like the perfect poem with which to celebrate the warm weather that’s finally arrived here in Toronto.

A Message From Narnia, to Those Still in the Dark. Longterm readers might remember how much I loved the Narnia books as a kid. What’s really interesting, I think, is to go back and reread books from your childhood. This poem references some of the messages in this series that are more applicable to adults than they (probably) are to younger readers.

From Green Sunday via joshuamneff:

in the heart of the heart of my head i found:

mosscovered bones & jewelled monsters

Part mystery, part sci-fi/fantasy, Just Gone follows Mother Angelique (who has dedicated her life to running a domestic violence shelter) and the two traumatized kids she takes in when their mother is accidentally murdered. During the course of figuring out how best to help Jamal and Chantay, Mother Angelique begins hearing them talk about Wacky Jacky. At first she thinks Jamal has invented this character in order to help him cope with the chaos and violence that has disrupted so much of his young life.

And then very strange things start happening when Jamal is around.

Mother Angelique’s unique voice is what lead me to recommend this book. She isn’t necessarily someone I’d like in real life, but I appreciate her no-nonsense attitude and lifelong commitment to helping people in crisis. Her straight-laced personality is also a great contrast to Jamal’s colourful stories about where Wacky Jacky comes from and what he does to adults who harm kids.

What have you been reading?

The Saga Of Biorn from The Animation Workshop on Vimeo.

A distant relative I’ve never actually met died a few months ago. Recently another family member gave us a copy of his funeral program. Over nine decades of life were summarized in a few short sentences. His birth, his marriage, his death.

Those three dates, while obviously important, cover an extremely small portion of his life.  As I read the program I wondered what had been left out about him. Not in a negative way at all, mind you. It was more a curiosity about all of those personality quirks and other minor details about any of us that tend to be slowly forgotten after we die.

This short film made me think of the legacy each one of us will leave behind when we die. There’s only so much control we have over when that happens, how it happens, and what others think of us after we’re gone.

Everything else I want to say about The Saga of Biorn contains spoilers, so please go watch it. I’d love to discuss the ending with someone!

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, poetry, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From As I Sketch Each Year via Lael_Lenehan:

As I sketch each year,
I fill the base of a jar, with a
fabricated world of dreams
ranging in realities

Why’s Enough. There’s something to be said for this.

The Elusive Happy Family via CynthiaHarriso1. The unvarnished honesty in this post is refreshing. It takes a lot of courage to talk about such personal matters, especially when everything doesn’t necessarily go according to plan.

I am Bad. I completely understand where this columnist is coming from. Unnecessary, prolonged noise  is a huge pet peeve of mine as well. There is no reason to, say, leave a TV  or radio on when no one is using it or speak loudly when a normal tone is audible. As a preacher’s kid I used to quietly slip out of the sanctuary during the loudest songs. The music was playful, it was just so loud that I could no longer hear myself think. I needed a few minutes of only moderate noise in order to reorganize my mind.

Yard Sale Madness via JamesLEtoile. A clever essay about the dark side of yard sales. I’ve never understood the appeal of driving to someone else’s home in order to haggle over a $0.25 t-shirt. At least  secondhand shops offer a wide variety items in a temperature-controlled environment. Yard sales don’t.

From Huggers Gonna Hug:

What people think about me is none of my business.

The words hit me like a sledgehammer. Such a seeming contradiction, such a paradox, but only because we have it backwards when we allow people’s opinions of us to affect us. We are who we are. Our actions and thoughts define us. How someone interprets those actions is none of our business.

If you’ve ever wondered what your parents or grandparents didn’t tell you about their lives before they had kids, I think you’ll love Rocket Girl.

This biography of an incredibly secretive scientist is written by her son. Mary Sherman Morgan ran away from home at 19 to escape her abusive, poverty-stricken family who never would have approved of her attending college. Little did they know that their daughter was about to become the first female rocket scientist in the U.S. or that she and a colleague would solve a problem that was threatening to completely derail manned space flights

What I liked most about this biography is how honest George D. Morgan was about his mother’s shortcomings. It’s easy to sugarcoat the life of someone you love, but he doesn’t shy away from the details of her life that don’t always put her in the best light.

What have you been reading?

Picture by LinguistAtLarge.

Do you remember the scene in Fight Club where Tyler Durden talks about his single-serving friends? He’s referring to the nice people you meet, say, while travelling and then never see again.

I’ve started striking up conversations with people I don’t really know. They’re not quite single-serving friends as we live in the same city (and sometimes even the same building), but if there’s something friendly to say while we’re waiting in line or squished together on an elevator I’m beginning to say it.

We don’t know each other’s names, but for a few minutes we share camaraderie. Often this works out well. And then there are those other times.

It was one of the last chilly days of the winter that wouldn’t end when an exhausted-looking woman and I boarded the same elevator. Her cheeks were ruddy and her hair looked a bit windblown.

“It is really cold out there?” I asked. I knew the forecast had called for pretty cold temperatures for this time in March, but I didn’t remember hearing anything about a windchill or strong winds.

Her shoulders drooped.

“I’m just so used to working two or three jobs,” she said. “I think I’m going to go back to sleep.” Her fatigue dripped furiously onto the mud-caked floor.

Eventually she figured out what I was actually asking, and we both agreed that Toronto is trapped in an everlasting winter without the promise of Christmas.*

But for 30 seconds I was very amused by the direction of our conversation.

What have you (mis)heard lately?

*Or at least that’s what it feels like.

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As I’m sure you’ve already heard, Fred Phelps died at the end of last week.

My Twitter stream erupted into two basic types of responses once the news broke. I follow a lot of Buddhists and pacifists, so there were many prayers offered for Fred’s family and that his soul would find peace.

A smaller percentage of my social circle was  unapologetically gleeful. Fred Phelps has caused so much suffering that they were thrilled to see him leave this world. He will never be able to hurt anyone again. One of my lingering convictions from growing up in the church is that everyone deserves grace and compassion. The people who need it the most are often those who are the hardest to love because of how horribly they behave.

The funny thing is that certain members from both groups want to stage a protest at his funeral. The former want it to be a positive demonstration of love for the family members and Westboro Baptist Church. The latter want to give them a taste of their own medicine, and I also grok the thirst for justice. Call it karma, fate, or providence, there comes a time in life when your choices come back to you. If nothing else, any abusive or hateful person is going to be remembered quite differently than someone who was consistently loving and kind.

But this is how I will be acknowledging his life and death.

courtesy of Jwild.

Not hatred. It’s never satisfied.

Not love. (Although if I’m wrong about the existence of an afterlife, I hope it is a place of forgiveness for everyone).

Indifference.

Silence.

The slow erasure of someone who failed to make the rest of the world swallow any of his fear.

An empty, white circle that will never react to him again.

There are so many other people in this world worth remembering. Let’s focus on them.

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, comic strips, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

A Wish Upon a Bone via CrispySea. When I was a kid I used to wish I could grow gills while swimming. It never happened, but for a few years I tried very hard to see if it could.

Ideal Cuddle Scenario. Because there are no words in this comic I had a wonderful time making up a story about them as I scrolled down. My ideal cuddle scenario: sitting on the couch with my spouse or a close friend or family member. It’s nice to watch a movie and cuddle at the same time. What’s your ideal cuddle scenario? This page is work-safe, but I can make no promises about the rest of the site.

The Overprotected Kid via kidamon. I’m way too old for this playground, but I still want to visit it.

From the Divide. One of my pet theories in life is that great art gives you a fleeting glimpse of what it’s like to live someone else’s life. This is a fantastic example of how that might work.

Caution – Road Work Ahead via fsouth. This is part three of a really interesting series about grief and death. Links to the first two parts are at the bottom of the essay.

From A Love Letter to Anxious Ladies:

I’m not very good at love letters, so bear with me if I falter. Dear anxious ladies, everywhere, in all ends of campus, and in all ends of the world: I am currently in a state of mind where I hate most things, but know that I feel an intense, solid, strong bond of affection and solidarity for you.

Retinisis Pigmentosa: I’m guessing that most of my readers have never heard of this disease. Beyond Rowing tells the story of a woman named Victoria Nolan who slowly becomes legally blind because of it. The really interesting thing about Victoria’s story is that she didn’t become a record-breaking, award-winning athlete until after she lost virtually all of her sight.

We all have challenges in life. Mine are (probably) very different from yours, but no one is without them. What I love about this book is how the author reacts to the things she finds difficult. It’s not about ignoring the hard times, it’s about refusing to allow them to define you as a person.

And that’s something all of us can relate to.

What have you been reading?

Photo by Abrget47j.

I’ve been too busy writing this week to come up with a proper Thursday topic, so I thought I’d share one of my recent sources of inspiration instead.  Here is the photographer’s description of it:

The photo was taken after sunset at Cape Purakkari. There are glacial boulders in the picture. It was a stormy day at the Baltic Sea. Long exposure makes the waves look like mist.

The amazing thing about it to me is that it was taken of a completely ordinary place on Earth. Estonia to be precise.

When I look at it I see an alien world or a glimpse of what our planet might have looked like tens of millions of years ago. It would never occur to me to assume that the right equipment can make such a big difference in how something as ordinary as waves turns out.

Amazing stuff.