Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever.
– Lemony Snicket
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The anti-bucket list includes everything you never want to experience before you die. I found this idea while on a random google search and thought my readers would like seeing what I put on mine as much as I’m looking forward to reading yours!
How about you?
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Here is this week’s list of blog posts, quotes, and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
Understanding Culture and Language Ethnocide: A Native Perspective via FirstPeoples. The analogy Dr. S. Neyooxet Greymorning uses in this blog post made so much sense to me. I’d never thought about the importance of language to the preservation of a culture. So interesting!
The Man Who Destroyed America’s Ego. A long but fantastic article about the self-esteem movement and the man who questioned the validity of it.
Time Travelers: Don’t Kill Hitler – Kidnap Him. This idea just might work. If you’re ever sitting next to me when I’m in one of my very quiet moods, it’s possible I’m thinking about something like this.
A Quickie on My “Imaginary” Wife via calgarydreamer. My spouse isn’t as shy as this blogger’s wife, but it’s really nice to see how respectful he is of her decision to stay away from social media and his blog. It can be tough to write around someone who is such an important part of your life.
From Do You Suffer from IQS?:
Do you find yourself repeating meaningless platitudes about love, courage, or creativity throughout the day? Do you attribute nearly every possible sentence in the English language to the same half dozen famous people? Do you feel strangely moved by reading the same quote for the hundredth time on Twitter or Facebook? Do you feel an utterance is made more profound by dividing it into lines, pasting it onto a picture of a sunset, and attributing it to a famous dead person?
Why Are They So Angry? An excellent blog post that asks why certain people are so threatened by the existence of poor folks. I think it has a lot to do with stereotypes about poverty that are promoted in the media. Not to mention the fear of ending up in the same place.
Counting the Days Until Spring via everettpoetry. March has been a long, chilly, damp, frustrating month for me so far. I deeply identify with this poem.
“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”― Andrew Boyd
What do you get when you combine Mormonism, Tourette’s Syndrome, and a lifelong love of reading? The World’s Strongest Librarian.
The best part of this autobiography is how effortlessly the author dives into what it feels like to be a child. Certain things that make perfect sense to adults are complete mysteries to people who are new to this world. Discovering the difference between the two adds humour and a touch of charm to what otherwise could have been a very lonely childhood.
This is a great choice for anyone in the mood for a lighthearted read, especially if you’re a fellow bookworm!
What have you been reading?
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Picture by Pumbaa (original work by Greg Robson).
If Nobelium could speak, its first word would be no.
(Don’t quote me on that if you have a Chemistry test coming up, though. 😉 )
Over the past few years I’ve slowly been learning to say no without feeling guilty for it. There are still certain situations that trip me up, but I’m finding a lot of freedom in the idea that few things in life are compulsory.
It’s good to volunteer, spend time with loved ones, or do favours for other people. No one has the right to your time, though. Even if you said yes the last ten times or there’s no one else around to do it.
No.
Sometimes one small word is a full sentence. It doesn’t always need a reason to prop it up.
Just no.
The more you say it, the easier it is to let it stand on its own.
And the easier it is to find space for all of the Yeses in your life.
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ReMoved from HESCHLE on Vimeo.
This is a 12 minute short film about a preteen girl experiencing foster care that I absolutely loved. I think my readers will like it, too. There are (non-graphic) depictions of domestic violence I thought I should mention in case anyone is sensitive to that sort of thing.
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Picture by Gamerforever.
Many of the comment sections in the blogs I follow are slowly growing quieter.
The content hasn’t changed as far as I can tell, but for some reason people are responding to new posts less often. The funny thing is that, at least for me, the number of visitors who come to this site has increased since I started blogging in 2010. Last month alone I saw a 30% bump in visits.
Is it due to readers posting links to stuff they like on social media instead? I’ve definitely been doing that more and more often over the last couple of years. There definitely is something to be said for telling all 5 (or 50, or 5000) of your followers that you loved a certain link.
Yet I think we’re losing a valuable part of blogging culture.
We’re all wrong sometimes. One of the strengths of reading and writing a public blog is that you rub shoulders with people from all walks of life. Yes, there are occasional trolls, but most of the folks I’ve met online have stretched my mind in good ways. The fact that we see things from different perspectives is a strength, not a weakness. There have been times when the comment section of a particular post is ten times more interesting than what originally sparked the conversation.
Which is why this silence frightens me. I don’t want to live in an echo chamber.
Which is why I’ve decided to comment more often on other people’s posts. For every two links I share, my goal is to leave one comment on sites that don’t require you to sign up on them first. (The annoyance of that is an entirely different post 😉 ).
I hope you will join me.
Maybe we can turn the tide.
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Here is this week’s list of blog posts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
A Day in the Life of a Street Kid via Christina_Z13. I blinked away tears as I read this. Be sure to check out part one as well.
How a Convicted Murderer Prepares for a Job Interview. A really interesting piece about a group of ex-cons who are trying to make new lives for themselves.
How to Talk to Anyone (For at Least a Few Minutes). A very helpful post. The rest of the site may be NSFW.
Why We Tweet via alfageeek. I’d argue that this is true about everything we post online.
Inspiration P*rn or Unfit Parent. The title of this piece has been edited to prevent search bots from sending me visitors who are looking for things this blog doesn’t provide. 😉 What I liked the most about this post was how much it reminds me of my own childhood. My parents were always the ones who picked up trash around the neighbourhood to keep it tidy. I haven’t heard of many other families who make this one of their traditions, but it’s a good one!
From Pennies Saved via DJ_Whisenant:
I’ve been
savin’ on up; I’ve been
savin’ on up for a
fit and fine holi-
day…
World War II always seemed like it took up a disproportionate amount of time in my high school history classes. Because of that I’ve purposefully avoided books about that era as an adult. Until now.
Hitler’s Furies: German Women in the Nazi Killing Fields isn’t an easy read, but it’s an important one. I knew that German women who were free from mental and physical “defects” were pushed into having as many children as possible for their country. I didn’t know the extent of the political and social pressure on them, though, or how instrumental they were in the operation of prison camps and hospitals. Nursing was one of a handful of professions open to German women at the time, but many nurses found themselves ending lives instead of saving them.
This is a great choice if you’re in the mood to revisit World War II from the perspective of ordinary German women.
What have you been reading?
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This blog has been so seriously lately that I thought it was time for something silly.
What would most people be surprised to learn about you?
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This is 8 minutes of pure relaxation. I’ve been using it in my daily meditation and thought my readers might like to give it a try as well. If the video doesn’t show up, click here.
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Anonymous asks:
How do I respond to my brother’s request that I forgive our toxic mother?
Something tells me he’s more interested in Kodak moments than forgiveness.
That is, I get the impression that your brother wants the entire family to gather together for birthdays, weddings, and holidays without tension. He wants to make lots of happy memories and dreams of family pictures that include everyone.
The difference between his fantasy family and the one he actually has right now is stark. I’d explain your reasons for not wanting to spend ( more? any?) time with her one more time with him. If you trust him, I’d offer to get together separately with him and any other siblings you two might have.
Sometimes people are so intent on preserving the image of their happy family that they are too quick to gloss over serious issues that can’t be swept underneath the rug. You’ll be able to tell fairly soon if this is something he’s trying to do. Don’t assume it will happen, but do think about what kind of relationship you’d want to have with him if he continues to press the issue.
And go read Susan Forward’s Toxic Parents. Despite the title, this is a great book for successfully handling just about any type of relationship with manipulative, controlling, or abusive people.
Do you have a question for me? Submit it through the contact form, in the comment section or by emailing postmaster AT on-the-other-hand DOT com.
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