“Un gatto interrogativo- A question mark” by Mauro
Bruce Gerencser recently asked his readers for ideas for upcoming posts.
I love this idea so I’m stealing it.
What topics would you want to see at On the Other Hand in the future? Is there anything I’ve written about that you’d like to revisit?
What do you think Interrogative Cat is questioning? 🙂
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Photo by Lotus Head. Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa.
I loved the first Backstreet Boys song I heard on the radio. It was catchy and fun to listen to as I rode my bike around our neighbourhood in the summer of 1997. And then I figured out that the Backstreet Boys were a boy band and instantly stopped admitting I liked their CD. I was a serious poet, you see, and could not be seen earnestly bopping along to guilty pleasures like pop ballads.
One of the unexpected surprises of growing up was learning how freeing it is to stop believing in hierarchies. Scrambled eggs and ketchup were made for one another. Jodi Picoult’s body of work and almost every dystopian novel ever written are so much fun to read I’d rather stay up an extra hour to learn how these stories end than feel well-rested tomorrow. Sometimes the best way to wrap up a long day is by dancing to The Hits: Chapter One.
You may or may not agree with my taste in food, books or music. That’s ok. I have an aversion to olives, Inspirational fiction and Bluegrass but that doesn’t make any of these things objectively good or bad. Feeling guilty for liking the “wrong” things is counterproductive and silly.
For example, I absolutely abhorr F. Scott Fitzgerald’s writing style in The Great Gatsby. I had to read it in high school and it was all I could do to not fling that silly book out the window every time Nick pined over not being married to his snotty, deceitful (second) cousin.
Beowulf has been one of my all-time favourite tales because the poetry was beautiful and I immediately sympathized with Beowulf’s fierce desire to protect his community. Some of my classmates loved The Canterbury Tales but The Wife of Bath was the only character I found particularly amusing in that book.
Classic music or novels become classics in large part because ordinary people find universal truths in their subject matter and continue to seek them out decades after they were originally released. Today’s classics were often yesterday’s bestsellers and may have been considered “lowbrow” entertainment when they first came out.
Does this mean that I’m the final authority on what’s good in life? No, not everything can or should appeal to everyone!
Just keep your stinky olives away from me. 😉
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Photo by Jacek Cisło.
Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
This Man Thinks He Never Has to Eat Again. The man profiled in this article has almost completely switched from eating food to drinking a fortified smoothie he recently invented. Even if this is shown to be safe I like food too much to give it up entirely but with my milk allergy it would be wonderful to keep a serving or two of human “kibble” on me for those occasions when it’s difficult to find safe stuff to eat.
Years. How many years does it take for the horrors of slavery to fade?
From I Wore Red Today:
I have been on this journey of coming out, acknowledging who I am, and looking to live my full life for almost one year. I have been scared at times. I was depressed enough to briefly think about suicide earlier in this journey. I was frustrated. And then I felt something I almost never expected to feel – the joy of loving and being loved by someone who I could fully bond with emotionally.
The Case for Getting Married Early. I’ve known teenagers who are ready to get married and people three times that age who haven’t even figured out how to be a good friend yet so I’m puzzled by (white) Toronto’s deep aversion to getting married young. If you’re in love and both feel ready to make that commitment why allow something as arbitrary as age stand in your way?
The Vital Importance of Having a Flossideegibbet.Now I want one!
Remember This Lady? I Didn’t Either. Irena Sendler saved the lives of 2,500 Jewish infants and children during World War II. And then the Nazis figured out what she was doing…
On Missing Childhood. The further away you are from childhood the easier it is to romanticize it. Kids have little to no control over what happens in their lives and they can be terribly, remorselessly cruel to one another. These are two facts I think many grown-ups forget when they gush about how nice it was to be age X. I actually had a wonderful upbringing but was still thrilled to grow up, take responsibility for my own life and choose who remained in it.
The Adoration of Jenna Fox isn’t an easy story to promote without giving away major spoilers. Sufficed it to say Jenna is a teenager recovering from a nearly fatal car accident whose family has been acting quite strangely since she began regaining her short and long-term memory.
This is the perfect book for anyone who found the world more confusing than ever before when they were seventeen. At that age I knew just enough to realize how much I hadn’t figured out yet and not having all of the answers felt like walking around with a pebble in my shoe.
What have you been reading?
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A reader recently found this blog through this search phrase: life brings you? poem.
This is my answer to the question. Leave your version of this poem in the comment section. If you blog about it I’ll edit this post to include a link to your site.
Life brings you…
surprises. Some stories end too soon, others
are resolved just when you think it’s impossible
to squeeze in one more syllable on the page.
pain. It can be so sharp it takes your breath
away, so long-lasting you forget how it began.
But anyone who says it will never end is lying.
co-conspirators. You may find them right away
or gather a few at a time but the world is full of
kindred spirits. The lucky ones realize it early.
Taxes. Need I explain more? 😉
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Here is this week’s list of blog posts, I Care messages, six word stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
I Care. Count me in!
Porn for All, Not a Ban, Is Better for Women. Not all sex work is exploitative and not all mainstream jobs are dignified. Most porn doesn’t actually appeal to me but I don’t have any issues with other adults watching it.
The 30 Happiest Facts of All Time. The best ones were 7, 17 and 21.
Too Many Pets and Not Enough Animals. I know I’m guilty of this.
Black and Bengali. Have you heard of the historic district of Tremé? As genetic ancestry tests become less expensive and more well-known I suspect there will be a lot of people surprised by the actual ethnic origins of their ancestors. For many years avoiding horrific but often legally-sanctioned consequences was an excellent reason to lie about your identity. And of course there have always been secret adoptions, affairs, and women who don’t or can’t know who the father of their child is due to a wide variety of circumstances!
The Photograph. A challenge for my creative readers: write a six word story about what you think is happening in this photograph and then post it in the comment section. (This picture is work-safe but the rest of the site is not.)
My entry:
After the sacrifice we smelled rain.
Ripple. A story about rippling kindness from my new Twitter friend, Ani Sangye.
If you’ve ever wished books didn’t have so many words Talking Pictures is what you need to read! It is a charming book full of vintage pictures, postcards and short messages to and from ordinary people. I loved thumbing through it and imagining what the lives of the subjects were like 40, 60, 80 or more years ago.
What have you been reading?
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“Quiet” by Елена Ильина.
A few weeks ago a new reader found this blog by searching for this phrase.
The answer is quite simple: occasionally share the delicious thoughts you prefer to keep to yourself.
Those of you who have met me in person know how quiet I usually am in large social gatherings. Some folks have the irrepressible urge to share every single thought that flitters through their mind.
It’s great to listen to them but I’m not that kind of person.
I’d rather listen while I figured everyone else out than reveal too much information about myself prematurely. It’s better to be seen as a little mysterious than to throw all of your cards on the table before you even know which game everyone is playing.
At times I’ve attended a gathering, thoroughly enjoyed myself and gone home without talking more than ten minutes the entire night. I don’t believe in speaking for the sake of speaking or in sharing a premature idea. Better to mention something a little too late than to say what you’re thinking before you’ve decided what your opinion is on the topic!
Every once in a while, though, when everyone else least expects it I’ll pick the ripest thought and share it.
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A response to I Don’t Like Kids. There, I Said It.
I actually agree with much of what Nissa has to say on this subject. Many years ago I decided to never become a mother for the same reasons she mentions: a complete lack of interest in parenting, a strong preference for a quiet, orderly adulthood and a desire to not add to the seven billion+ humans already in existence. To be honest I don’t think life on earth is going to be pleasant for anyone in 50-100 years and I’d rather not be responsible for creating one or more people who would still be alive if and when ecosystems collapse.
It makes me cringe when other Childfree adults say they don’t like children, though. Let’s substitute a few other groups in that sentence. Is it ok to say you just don’t like black people? Bisexuals? Women? Mormons? New Democrats?
Any group will include members who do things others find irritating but it’s counterproductive and unethical to punish everyone for something one person said or did. Not all children are noisy or distracting. My favourite activity as soon as I learned how to read was picking a good book and curling up to read behind the couch or underneath my grandmother’s piano while the adults talked.
Occasionally new grown-ups treated me like a nuisance because they assumed I couldn’t sit still and be quiet. Nothing could be further from the truth and being treated differently based on their pre-conceived expectations hurt. Now that I’m an adult I see no reason to say, “I don’t like kids!” (Or the equally inane, “I love kids!”)
Specific behaviours may be annoying or endearing but there will always be children in this world who are nothing like your ideas of them.
A few years ago a romantic dinner with my husband was marred by a table full of demanding, shrieking…businessmen. Every man at that table was so drunk he didn’t realize how loud their table was or that not everyone found them amusing.
Kids are individuals. I adore some of them, like others, and have met a small handful that I never want to meet again but the same can be said for Christians, lesbians, bloggers, cyclists, and librarians . 😉
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Here is this week’s list of blog posts, quotes and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
Before I send you around the web can you guess what one of the most common search terms for this blog was over the winter?
on-the-other-hand.com and christianity.
I have no idea why so many of you like that phrase but if you’re one of the people who found this blog that way I’d love to know how you thought it up!
Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating. – Anneli Rufus
Why Are We So Ashamed of Our Women Heroes? One of the unexpected bonuses of moving away from Northwest Ohio was getting away from this attitude. Toronto isn’t perfect but blatant sexism is much less socially acceptable here. In my experience the (non)reactions of other people to discrimination or prejudice can be just as damaging as the actual incident. I’m saying this as someone who has also been the bystander who should have spoken up.
How Should Men Act Around Children? The saddest thing about stranger paranoia in North America is that we’re blaming innocent men when 30% of sexually abused kids are hurt by relatives and 60% are hurt by family friends or authority figures.
Lovecraftian Playground. I hereby reserve the right to play here someday. Sometimes the most mature option in life is whooshing down the slide with a grin on your face.
From I am the 47%:
As it turned out, government cheese is Helluva Good. We ate it for four and half years, and I really did see it as part of God’s provision for our family. Uncle Sam’s chick peas floated us through the lean seasons, which lasted from autumn until tax time.
Romantic Wisdom From Rap Genius via Jason Oberholtzer. Do you over-think lyrics? Have you ever stopped liking a song once you realized it’s actual message? I have a tendency to extrapolate way too much information from pop music. Maybe that is why I enjoyed this post so much!
Animals Made Out of Food. Yes, this is as adorable as it sounds.
We need more people like Amanda Palmer in the world:
To be honest with my readers the character development was weak and there were a few snarled plot threads but the premise of this book is so chilling I think you should read it anyway. Modern society still treats certain people as inherently less valuable than others and has encoded these prejudices into law at many different times and places in human history. It doesn’t stretch my imagination to envision it happening again.
What have you been reading?
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“The Moon Terraformed,” by Ittiz.
One of my favourite blogs, Paleofuture, shows us what people in the past thought life would be like in the future. Some predictions are quite accurate, others are laughable off the mark.
In the spirit of Paleofuture here are my predictions for the biggest controversies of 2113:
Should android-human relationships be legally recognized? How do you construct a fair marriage contract between a machine and person?
If dolphins have been granted human rights why not expand the same privileges to other animals?
Now that we have universal antibiotic resistance how do we keep the gravely ill alive? Is it ever worth performing surgery knowing that act carries serious risk of post-operative infections we can no longer treat?
Can humming a song without paying the appropriate royalty fees be considered a copyright breach?
Is it ethical to cut off someone’s Internet access if they can’t afford to pay for it? Isn’t the Internet as crucial to modern life as electricity or running water?
With new, fertile land opening up and settlers moving in should Antartica be chartered as her own country or function as a colony of an existing nation?
How would you answer these questions? What do you think will be the hot topics of 2113?
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Here is this week’s list of blog posts, street art, photo essays and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.
Pedro Lujan and His Dog via Cathryn Wellner. I’m blown away by how realistic Pedro, his dog and the giant turtle are in this outdoor art piece. Gorgeous.
The Scarlet Plague. What would life be like if an epidemic killed all but a few hundred people on earth?
16 Ways I Blew My Marriage. My theory about long term relationships: we learn how to perform them by observing adults interacting with their spouses/partners decades before we have any personal interest in the topic. This is not to say that people who grew up in dysfunctional households are doomed to live out their parents’ lives but creating and maintaining a healthy relationship is a hell of a lot easier if you have good role models.
Recovered Suitcases from an Insane Asylum. An article and photo essay about suitcases full of personal belongings that accompanied patients to the Willard Asylum. The photographs were particularly noteworthy as a few generations ago they were much more expensive keepsakes than they are today.
No One is Watching. Just Go Ahead and Do It. What a playful idea! I’m tempted to give it a shot one of these days. This link is safe for work but the rest of the site is not.
From Handicapped Son via OliviaMagdelene:
isn’t that what we came for:
to feel for spots of warmth in icy caves?
I have so many more thoughts about this book but I don’t want to spoil it for my readers. Please let me know if you decide to give it a try!
What have you been reading?
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