Grammar Matters

Scrabble_tiles_enGrammar matters.

Fourteen years ago when I first joined in on Internet conversations I was surprised by how often the people I met online ignored basic punctuation, capitalization and spelling rules. Over time this lax approach to the English language has only grown worse.

When I read a blog post or article riddled with errors I assume the author doesn’t take his or her work seriously. If the author won’t take five minutes to proofread his or her words I’m probably not going to finish reading them. The written word is one of the most powerful tools humans have developed over the past five thousand years and we should strive to preserve its rich history, not ignoring the rules in order to save a few seconds.

It’s more difficult for me to read articles, blog posts and emails that don’t follow the basic rules of grammar than the ones that at least try to obey the rules of standard English. Sometimes commas save lives, and I’d much rather keep reading than pause to figure out if a certain word is purposefully misspelled or if it’s a new slang term.

Of course we all make occasional mistakes. I don’t expect perfection from myself or anyone else but it’s troubling to see such a rich, beautiful language morph into endless abbreviations and ambiguous meanings.

I’ve known people who learned English later in life and take the memorization of irregular verbs and plural nouns quite seriously. Someone else I know has a mild learning disorder that makes reading and writing difficult. They still try to communicate effectively.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask everyone else to do the same thing.

 

 

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Would Using Real Names Make the Internet Friendlier?

Anonymity on the Internet seems to be quite a large factor in the troll’s game. Essentially, the ability to be anonymous can free us up to express some things we would never openly express in public.

From the basal bigoted ideas we harbor, yet tell no one about, to the insecurities we’ve learned to collect throughout our time in society and on planet earth, trolling seems to be a stream for a number of these personal prejudices to come to the surface without our identity being known.

This quote from How to be Moral on the Internet has been bouncing around in my mind over the last 24 hours.

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Photo by Stefan Krause, license CC-BY-NC-ND.

Would the Internet be a friendlier place if everyone used his or her real name?

Would you say and do the same things online if you knew that your boss, parents, neighbours or friends might be reading over your shoulder?

From what I’ve seen strongly encouraging the use of real names online would weed out most trolls. There are people in this world who find gristly pleasure in anonymous Internet battles. I don’t understand their thought processes but this seems to be something that happens to every website, chat group and message board that has ever existed!

While the vast majority of my readers are thoughtful and respectful occasionally I have had to edit the comment section on certain posts to weed out less savoury replies. So far it has not been frequent enough for me to disallow anonymous comments or moderate any readers but the experiences of some of my friends on their sites have been much more conflicted.

Not everyone is comfortable using their true identity online, though. I know people who have created a pseudonym for commenting on blogs and message boards and participating in social media that remains stable for a long period of time. Some of these individuals eventually reveal their real name to trusted friends. Others don’t. All of them maintain dignified, kind personas, though, and would not benefit from social pressure to reveal who they really are to the world.

Even with the use of real identities there will always be aggressive individuals in a place as unregulated as the Internet. After all, We haven’t even figured out how to stop them in real life yet!

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Suggestion Saturday: March 2, 2013

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, short stories, quotes and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.- Winston Churchill

When I am a Dog I am Barking. Readers, this is one of those rare links that I share without fully understanding what it is I’m sending you to check out. I can’t decide if this poem/essay is meant to be intellectually deep or intentionally silly. Is it telling us to cherish our true selves rather than try to hammer our interests and personalities into labels or is it a private joke for people who live with golden retrievers? I’m not ashamed to admit I don’t know the answer to this. Click on the link anyways!

True Friends Ask How the Sex Is. NSFW. As a rather private person I have mixed feelings about this. I’m shy about discussing sex in groups especially if the conversation shifts to include graphic details of what everyone is (or isn’t) doing in bed. Call me old fashioned but I think there’s something to be said for keeping the rest of the world out of your most intimate moments. I definitely see the value of honest discussions with a small circle of close friends, though. Hollywood’s ideas on this topic do not always correspond to what it’s actually like to lose your virginity or be in a longterm relationship. 😉

From Armless Maidens of the American West:

There’s no telling what the armless maiden did.

It doesn’t matter now. To her father, it was offense enough to warrant what happened. To anyone else, what happened was a crime beyond measure; what happened to her was a horror.

(Where they were when her father picked up the axe, there’s no telling.)

She’s been living in the woods as long as you can remember, though no one talks about it much where you are. Live and let live. If she stays off the golf course, no one minds her.

What Do Grown Children Owe Their Abusive Parents? This author’s estimate that 20% of children are abused or neglected while growing up is depressing and (un)believable.

Two Body Interactions: A Longitudinal Study. A paper written by a physicist in order to propose to his girlfriend. Drew and I became engaged after discussing how much we loved one another.  He asked me to marry him and then I asked him to marry me!

Dancing Through Life: Six Years Later. A powerful essay about loss, forgiveness and finding peace written by someone I know in real life.

Imagine living in a world without trees. Banyan is literally and figuratively Rootless, having been separated from his father and surviving on the only “food” mankind has left, genetically modified corn. To make ends meet he builds metal trees for wealthy benefactors.

Whether you’re interested in stories about universal malnutrition, how a teenager survives on his own in a dangerously libertarian society, the long term effects of global warming, or what happens when the government can no longer protect the poor from severe exploitation this book has something for every reader.

What have you been reading?

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Wild Card Wednesday: Winter 2013 Questions

Search engine questions from the winter of 2013. 

Why is it hard moving away from the city? Many people prefer to stay in the same environment they knew growing up. There are very real cultural differences between living in a small town and a big city and not everyone is comfortable leaping from one to the other.

What other hobbits had adventures? The ones on the Isle of Flores.

[Does] access to internet allow people to think? From what I’ve seen the Internet amplifies existing personality traits. Someone who asks intelligent questions in real life will almost certainly be the same way online.

How do you like the idea of celebrating family holidays in a restaurant? The concept is intriguing but I’ve rarely seen it executed smoothly. Restaurants are quite busy on the holidays which decreases food quality and customer service.  I participate in these dinners occasionally because other people like them but would never organize one myself. There are so many better ways to spend time together.

Is a Craiglist strictly platonic relationship with a married man okay? Only if his husband or wife is ok with it. Craiglist’s definition of that word seems to be friends with benefits.

How do you to get your elders to love you? Smile and nod when they repeat the same story over and over again. Buy them dark chocolate. Pose for pictures. If they don’t like dark chocolate share it with me instead. I love anyone who goes out of their way to find dairy-free desserts! 🙂

Do I have to apologize for blocking someone? Of course not.

Has the Internet negatively impacted society by allowing people to anonymously spread misinformation? Only in the sense that it’s easier to share lies online. There have always been slanderous people in this world. I hope they keep gossiping if only so the rest of us know whom to avoid!

Preacher’s kids behind closed doors… are just like anyone else. It’s the pressure for us to be perfect that causes some PKs to rebel. The best thing you can do is to expect the same things from them as you would from anyone else that age.

 

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Why I’m Giving Up on The Walking Dead

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Warning: this post contains mild spoilers for season three of The Walking Dead.

When I first heard the announcement that The Walking Dead comics were going to be made into a TV show I was thrilled. Zombie movies always end just as the story begins to grapple with how one survives psychologically and physically in such a terrifying environment over the long term and this franchise was created specifically to answer that question. While I’d recently given up on the comics when they crossed the gore line I assumed the TV show would tone down the gross out factor and concentrate on the lives of the (un?)lucky survivors.

Growing up my church taught us to be selective about the types of media we consumed. My youth group leaders warned that some images are tough to get out of your mind. They were thinking of sexually explicit content, of course, but rarely violent video games or movies would be trotted out as examples as well.

As I slowly deconverted from Christianity I started testing all of the things I’d been taught about human nature and the world. Some assumptions turned out to be true, others didn’t.

It came as a surprise to learn that, at least for me, violent, gory content matters. Without giving away spoilers for fans of this show, seeing people tortured and killed every week – even if it’s obviously a situation that could never happen in real life – raises my adrenaline levels and provides fodder for vivid nightmares. Rather than marvelling at the special effects, makeup or stunt work that went into making that scene possible I imagine myself rushing to help the victim and watching them either die or recover slowly over several gruelling months. The ability to jump into what is in this case such a bloody narrative changes the way I interact with the world…and not for the better.

Incidentally I have no problem watching graphic sex scenes on shows but the despair these characters feel after months of ceaseless violence isn’t entertaining to this viewer.

So I will stop watching The Walking Dead this spring. They have a few more episodes to change my mind as I prepaid for the entire season but given the dark places the comic books have gone I don’t think the TV show is going to stray far from that path.

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Suggestion Saturday: February 23, 2013

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Heart of Glass (This post is work safe but previous entries on the site are not!):

Sometimes even just a little bit of progress takes a lot of time—way more time than we maybe think we have to spare.

Sometimes just the fact that you’re trying, reaching out, again, to say “I’m here when you’re ready, I’ve been here the whole time” is what finally makes a difference, even if the message has been rejected over and over again in the past.

25 Surprising Facts You Might Not Know via KenKaminsky. I can’t vouch for the truthfulness of any items on this list but I found #1 to be quite interesting.

Shunned. What happened to one woman after she accidentally became pregnant at 16 in 1966.

Deep Inside: A Study of 10,000 Porn Stars. Before you click on this link take a few seconds to imagine the “typical” porn star. Immediately I thought of a blonde woman with large breasts. Boy, was I wrong! It’s invigorating to learn the truth even if that means admitting you have blind spots.

What Blogs Do You Read? I picked up a few new favourites from this post. The comment section is full of even greater suggestions on a wide range of topics: LGBT, skepticism, the emerging church, humour, science, sex, and (U.S.) politics.

From Afterlife:

Mary pushed her black, dime store bifocals to the back of her nose. “Afterlife is existence after death. And you are all dead.”

The kids faded inside their seats. Their seven bodies turned translucent. Mary pointed again at her lesson. This was a disturbed group. Recalcitrants, every one of them.


A few years ago Westlake Soul suffered severe brain damage in a surfing accident. He can no longer speak or move but his mind can visit any or time place on earth, including his favourite memories. While his family debates whether to remove the feeding tube of a son they believe is in a persistant vegetative state Wes gears up for the battle of his life with the evil Dr. Quietus.

This was the best fantasy novel I’ve read so far in 2013. Wes’ thoughts are at turn funny, depressing, erotic (he’s quite, um, vividly heterosexual in his assessment of certain home health care aides), snarky and irreverent. Love him or hate him he’s the kind of guy every novel wishes it could attract.

What have you been reading?

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Can People Change?

INFPBarring a serious brain injury could you wake up tomorrow, decide to change your personality and successfully go through with it?

There was a time when I thought this was possible but with every passing year I believe more and more strongly that we might be able to change our minds about specific issues – religion, politics, the most delicious combination of pizza toppings –  but no one can change his or her personality.

I have always been deeply introverted, compassionate, creative and a little shy. It would be about as easy for me to stop being an INFP as it would be to command our planet to switch to a 25-hour day.

Assuming this is true for everyone why bother to set boundaries with anyone? Because behaviours can change. Not easily, of course, and not always but if the consequences are serious enough it’s surprising to see how quickly change can occur.

Last year I very assertively set boundaries with someone who was violating my personal space. I’m generally quite laid back – sometimes to excess –  so the personality switch from, “please stop,” to “back off now!” was dramatic. Did it change who this person is as an individual? No, but our relationship has shifted as they know pushing those boundaries again will get them the opposite of what they actually want.

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What do you think? Can people change? Has your personality changed over the years?

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Suggestion Saturday: February 16, 2013

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Photo by Alchemist-hp.

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, videos, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

From Life is a Theatre – Who Is in Your Front Row?

Observe the people who are close to you and with whom you spend a lot of time.  Which ones uplift and inspire you?  Which ones bring you down? Which ones encourage you?  Which ones discourage you?  Which ones are growing, positive, enthusiastic and supportive?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?

How Old is “Too Young to Die”? A Straight Dope thread that attempts to answer this question. In general I’d say anyone under the age of 65-70 fits this description but it really depends on how well you take care of yourself and whether you adapt to or are emotionally paralyzed by change. I’ve known ancient 40-year-olds and youthful 75-year-olds.

What They Say, What They Mean. The truth about feminism. This link is work-safe but the rest of the tumblr may or may not be appropriate.

Wild Things. A short story about a woman and her unusual lover.

The Bitch is Back. What happens after menopause. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to that stage in life? I started puberty earlier than most of my peers and it’s difficult to remember what life was like before menstruation. It will be an adventure when that part of my life cycle ends in a few decades!

 

 I never grew out of reading young adult fiction. Bog Child is a good example of a book written for teenagers that may actually appeal more to adult readers. It is the story a girl who dies violently as well the tale of the troubled Irish boy who finds her body almost 2,000 years later while digging in the peat bog where her body was dumped.

What have you been reading?

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Every Day is Valentine’s Day

BigPinkHeartConfession: I’ve never celebrated a traditional Valentine’s Day. Drew and I have been together eight years without once giving or receiving boxes of chocolates or bouquets.

If he ever sent me a sappy card I’d wonder what secret code was hidden behind the mushiness. Rather than cooing over the sentimental message I’d see how quickly I could figure out what Drew was really saying.

Yet we express our love for one another every day. Sometimes we even use words.

Last week I was on antibiotics. He texted me every afternoon to remind me to take them and to see how I was feeling. Before the medicine kicked in he woke up every time I had a bad coughing fit during the night.  Life wasn’t ok until I went back to sleep.

A few years ago I started steaming green beans for dinner in an effort to eat a healthier diet. Drew quickly learned that he loved green beans that were properly cooked and seasoned, and it just so happened that there were always enough beans for two on my plate. As his appetite grew so did the servings. 😉

We don’t celebrate February 14 because every day is Valentine’s Day. Love isn’t affection, romance, or sex (although those things are wonderful!), it’s the thousands of tiny decisions you make that show the person you’ve chosen that they matter.

By all means, go out to dinner or buy a fuzzy, pink stuffed animal if your significant other likes that sort of thing. Just remember that how you treat them the rest of the year sets the tone for your relationship.

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Orange Peels in the Snow

The first snowstorm of the year had just ended.

In slushy, sloppy streets my sneakers squished 

through snow half-melted until tonight’s refreeze.

Tomorrow the sidewalk will reveal icy patches so

smooth and clear one misstep leads you to Oz.

 

Today the orange peels fly. One, two wavy sections

plop into the snow. The man in front of me tucks

wavy grey hair into a grey toque, his tan overcoat

flapping in the breeze as he throws out more peels.

It is only then I notice the scent of fresh oranges.

 

This poem came to me a few weeks ago as I was walking down the street behind a middle-aged man eating an orange and throwing peels over his shoulder.

I don’t know yet what this poem means. Sometimes I think it’s better if we don’t know what it is we’re writing although if you have an interpretation of it I’m all ears!

 

 

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