Tag Archives: Boundaries

A One Hour Trip? That’s Too Far Away!

Seven years ago when I moved from Ohio to Ontario travelling wasn’t a burden. I’d spent the previous eleven years living in a small town. Going almost anwhere – church, the grocery store, school, the gas station – required a vehicle. Sidewalks existed mostly in the older sections of town and not all of them… Read More

You Are Not a Guru

  I really don’t like wearing it but I have to do it… she said with a soft sigh. Somehow the conversation had tumbled into all of the stuff women do to look presentable – high heels, makeup, shaving. What I wanted to say: So stop wearing it! It’s your body, your decision. Why waste… Read More

Is Forgiveness Without an Apology Really Forgiveness?

Is forgiveness without an apology [really] forgiveness? Someone recently found this blog by typing that question into a search engine. I know I’ve mentioned this here before but the answer is yes. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. At the bare minimum reconciliation requires an apology, a commitment to change and stitching your relationship – professional, romantic,… Read More

It’s Never Just Gossip

Originally posted on January 13, 2011. I haven’t been feeling well lately and am taking a short writing break while I recover. Let’s begin with a one-sentence working definition of gossip for the purpose of this post: saying or listening to information (true or otherwise) about someone that you wouldn’t feel comfortable participating in if… Read More

That’s (Not) Just the Way It Is

That’s just the way s/he is. This [organization, group, charity, etc] has always operated like that. You’ll get used to it. Time for another rant. 😉 Well, that’s just the way it is isn’t an excuse. It isn’t even a real answer. And that’s just the way it is so easily slouches into I can’t do anything… Read More

How to Forgive Without an Apology

Imagine that someone you know just stepped on your toes. “Ouch! That really hurt.” Most of us would say something like, “Oh, I’m sorry. Are your feet ok?” Sometimes, though, the response is, “I’ll walk where I want to walk. It’s up to you to keep your toes out of the way.” What happens when… Read More

When Is a Topic (in)Appropriate?

Recently someone stumbled across On the Other Hand by googling this question: What topics are off limits for most people to express? A contentious debate with a friend who is firmly lodged on the other side of a controversial issue can be absolutely acceptable while bringing up something as ordinary as what someone else is eating or wearing could be… Read More

How to Avoid Emotion Dumps

Last week this blog had a series of search engine hits on what to do when other people dump their emotions onto you. I’ve seen this type of behaviour take many forms: extreme anxiety, anger, passive-aggressive comments. A few thoughts on preventing emotion dumps: Mark a Line in The Sand. There is definitely something to… Read More