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If any of you secretly own a nightclub and are looking for people to work late hours and pressure your patrons into buying watered-down alcohol while the DJ blares eardrum-rattling music all night long, I am not a good candidate for the role for the following reasons:
1) I am a morning person who needs an early-ish bedtime and a stable sleep schedule in order to function properly and stave off ugly sleep-deprivation migraines,
2) Migraines give me horrible noise sensitivity, so I would not be able to remain in a noisy environment if I’m at any point in the migraine cycle. I also really don’t want to suffer permanent hearing loss from dangerously noisy work,
3) Sales is not something I’m naturally good at,
4) When I worked roles that involved sales in the past, I only said truthful things to my customers and respected their boundaries if they didn’t want to upgrade to a more expensive model of whatever they were shopping for or add extra items to their order. I never pressured them to buy anything they weren’t interested in and actually got in trouble sometimes for not selling stuff that my customers never wanted or needed in the first place,
5) I haven’t touched alcohol in years, wouldn’t know what to recommend other than telling everyone to go drink a strawberry margarita*, and would be perfectly honest every time someone asked if the drinks were watered down or otherwise deceptively advertised.
*Back when I did occasionally drink alcohol, it was at most two or three glasses of it per year, and strawberry margaritas were one of the handful of drinks that might entice me. I liked the fruit and the fruit juice in them a thousand times more than the alcohol, though, so now I just ask for a freshly-squeezed orange juice or something for rare celebratory moments instead.
So there it is. You now all know my weaknesses and what sort of job I’d be terrible at. Please make your hiring decisions accordingly. 😉
I’m with you on that! Modern bars are much too noisy. Some people are night owls, though. I know a guy who goes to bed at 9 am and wakes up at 4-5 in the afternoon. He’s retired, though, so he can do that.
Yes, some people are wired for those hours for sure!
I too would be awful in that job, Lydia for most of the same reasons, especially the early bedtime. I go to bet at 10 pm and get up at 5.30 am. Never thought I was a morning person until I started sticking to a sleep schedule.
We have very similar sleep schedules! It’s cool that we have so much in common.
I wouldn’t be a good nightclub hostess either.
Good to know. 🙂
I’m with you on any sort of sales positions. I used to enjoy nightclubs, but that was years ago and — weirdly — I’m not as young as I was then. Maybe if I got to be stationed in some kind of back room where it wasn’t so loud…
I wouldn’t have guessed you liked nightclubs back in the day.
I’ve never liked them and have sometimes felt like quite the oddball for not seeing the appeal in them. 😄
A quieter back room in one might be fun, though.
I wouldn’t want to be a disco DJ either. Sales suck.
I’m glad you get it.
I would also be too honest and not push enough for a sales position. I think I would be especially bad at sales jobs that relied on commission for a salary…
It’s cool we have that in common 🙂
Agreed! Even I in college that was never me scene, and I definitely couldn’t handle a job there now. Plus migraine are horrible, and I hate pushing sales, lol. (Pushing credit cards is one of my least favorite things about working retail, yuck.)
We have a lot in common! 🙂
Same! I’m a life-long member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons) and we don’t drink alcohol, so aside from an accidental cocktail in Jamaica (that was definitely NOT the virgin daiquiri I’d ordered), I’ve never imbibed. Funny story, though: When a non-Mormon friend of mine was getting married, he hired his son’s buddy (a member of my church who was about to head out on a mission) to bartend at the reception because he knew the kid wouldn’t sneak sips of or steal any of the booze! LOL.
Susan
http://www.blogginboutbooks.com
I love those stories. And, yeah, hiring a Mormon to bartend makes a lot of sense!