Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Funniest Things That Have Happened To Me

Hosted by Long and Short Reviews.

Click here to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and here to see the full list of topics for the year.

Wooden sign with polka dots and the words "did you smile today?" written on it I can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories! This is one of those WWBC topics I’ve been looking forward to all year long.

Story #1

My extended family is interracial and multiracial. Various versions of this conversation have happened multiple times over the years, and I hope I always see the amusing side of them.

(Yes, I do share relevant details with medical professionals or friends. I simply choose not to explain the intricacies of my family tree to every nosy stranger in the world).

Them: Who’s that person?

Me: They’re my <cousin, etc.>

Them: But they’re Black! <Cuban, etc.>

Me: They sure are.

Them: Okay, I get it. You’re biracial.

Me: No, I’m Caucasian.

Them: Are you sure about that? I mean, you do have curly hair.

Me: Yes, white people have curly hair, too.

Them: So are they biracial then?

Me: Nope. (Well, not in most cases).

Them: I’m confused. Are they your real <cousin, etc.>?

Me: Yep.

(repeat ad infinitum).

 

Story #2

This happened at the end of an exhausting holiday shift right before Christmas at a retail job I had years ago. Normally, I would have been much more responsive, but my brain was fried from the long hours, rotating shift work that made it impossible to get enough sleep, and frantic workflow for retail workers in the weeks and months leading up to Christmas. This customer had been inspecting our pans for a few minutes before she waved me over.

Customer: Excuse me, do you sell adamantium* pans?

Me: Sorry, we don’t sell them.

Customer: Do you know where I can adamantium pans?

Me: I honestly have no idea!

*That is to say, the fictional metal alloy used to coat Wolverine’s skeleton and claws in Marvel comic books. (And I still have no idea what she meant or why anyone would want to make baking pans from that material if it really existed).

 

 

Story #3

The most recent story of them all. A few years ago, I noticed a weird-looking mole slowly growing bigger on my body and decided to ask my dermatologist to take a look at it.

The dermatologist asked me a few questions about the history of the mole and then brought out some specialized tools to peer more closely at it.

He was silent for a moment and then exclaimed, “your mole is bland!” It looked a little odd,  but it wasn’t cancerous like I’d feared it might be.

I still chuckle at this memory ever so often. My name is Lydia, bearer of bland moles. Ha!

19 Responses to Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Funniest Things That Have Happened To Me

  1. I worked in retail in high school, college and before teaching. When anyone in the teachers lounge would start griping about the problems of teaching I’d always, “Yes, but it still beats working for a living.”

  2. …I thought moles were blind, not bland.

    Ahem. Pardon that.

    I don’t know, I think an adamantium pan would be awesome. Doesn’t rust, doesn’t get banged up or bent or scratched… sounds great!

    My answer is here.

  3. Working in a library I encounter a lot of….odd requests. Some woman was shopping online and asked me if I thought the item was really truth serum. “I can almost guarantee you it’s not,” I said. She then asked me, where might she FIND truth serum. I could only say in vino veritas and reccommend a little hooch.

  4. Lydia,

    Story #1: I love that you don’t explain. Family is family and you’re blessed/stuck with them and it doesn’t matter from where they came. You’re lucky to have grown up in a family that looks like the world.

    Story #2: Really, Lydia: you haven’t thought this through. What if you’re cooking dinner and Mystique assumes you’re too preoccupied to notice that she’s sneaking up on you, but of course you’re perfectly aware she’s almost at your shoulder, but you don’t want to give away that you’re on to her by saying, “Excuse me, Mystique, but would mind hanging on for a moment while I find a proper weapon?”? If you’re cooking with an adamantium pan, you can simple grasp the handle a bit more firmly, twirl around at the last moment, bonk Mystigue on the head, and — if you’ve been careful not to spill the contents of your pan — go back to cooking. I like my Revere ware, but it gets so dented when I have to deal with nemeses who arrive unexpectedly when I’m trying to get dinner on the table. Villains are so rude.

    Story #3: How did your dermatologist know your mole was bland? Did he cook it in his adamantium pan?

    Thanks for the smiles. Those are wonderful stories.

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