Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Worst Advice I’ve Ever Received

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I have a relative who isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box and who often speaks before they think. They have known about my milk allergy for 17 years, and yet we’ve had versions of this conversation over and over again.

“This is delicious. You should try this <food that is overflowing with milk ingredients>, Lydia!”

“No, thanks. You know I’m allergic to milk, Relative, and that food is filled with it.”

“Oh, a little bite won’t hurt you. You should take a break.”

“Yeah, that’s not how allergies work.”

“But it’s just one bite!”

Photo of a person's face half-covered in shadow. Their eyes are visible. The words "what part of no don't you understand" is written on the bottom half of their face.Needless to say, pressuring someone to eat something you know will make them ill is awful advice.

In case anyone is concerned, I stopped eating or drinking anything this relative offered to me many years ago unless I’ve personally removed it from it’s factory-sealed package and can double-check the ingredients to make sure that a little bite is, indeed, safe for me.

And, yes, they have had allergies explained to them in many different ways at multiple times by a wide variety of folks, This isn’t a case of an otherwise reasonable person accidentally mistaking allergies for a mild food intolerance or simply disliking a certain ingredient. I’m understanding of genuine errors like that.

My relative has been given all of the medical facts about how allergies work and why repeated exposures can lead to life-threatening emergencies with no advance warning even if all of your previous reactions were mild enough to be treated at home.

Their illogical refusal to listen is one of many reasons why this person and I are rarely in the same vicinity and why I always keep my guard up and my allergy meds close by when I must be around them.

On a positive note, it does make for a funny story now that I have some emotional distance from those experiences and that person. Can you imagine how much easier life would be if we could all just “take a break” from any medical conditions we may have whenever it’s inconvenient or we feel like it? If only!

14 Comments

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14 Responses to Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Worst Advice I’ve Ever Received

  1. I… just… like, that’s not just wrong-headed and disrespectful, it’s an attitude that actively endangers people.

  2. “But it’s just one bite” Wow isn’t it something how family members can be so dismissive of a known problem? I’ve had that in my family too, certain people just disregard your wishes when it comes to food that you eat or don’t eat for absolutely valid reasons.

  3. I’m sorry you have had to deal with that. Relatives should be supportive.

  4. Ah yes. I had a friend who was allergic to dairy and eating out anywhere was a nightmare for this reason.

  5. That’s up there with offering a drink to an alcoholic or a donut to a diabetic.

  6. Yes, that’s a dangerous one. I don’t blame you for being extra cautious with food around them.

  7. Kel

    My middle son has what we believe is a soy allergy but it has not been properly diagnosed by a doctor – we’ve had some issues there as well (long story). So we are careful with soy and lechtin (which is in EVERYTHING) and I have people in my life that are like “Oh it won’t hurt him” and I’m like “it could kill him”. So I feel your pain here.

    • I’m so sorry your family has to deal with the same sort of thing. I don’t know why people act this way!

      I hope you get more help from your family doctor soon.

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