A Response to Nothing is More Important

800px-Nothing_stoneLate last year my friend Zora blogged her replies to what a search engine came up with when she typed in the phrase, “nothing is more important.”

A few weeks after she posted this entry I kept finding articles about how google filters what we see on the Internet. You and I can enter the exact same word or phrase into google and get quite different results based on our previous browsing and search term history.

With this in mind let’s all search for Zora’s phrase and compare our results. Zora listed 7 items so I will stop at that number as well.

Here is what I ended up seeing:

1. Nothing is more important than money. Assuming you have enough money to pay for the basics I completely disagree with this.

2. Nothing is more important than a fair trial. This is pretty important.

3. Ain’t nothing more important than the mula. These are apparently lyrics from a Big Sean song. I am so out of touch with mainstream music nowadays.

4. Nothing is more important than relationships. Depending on the relationship, absolutely.

5. Nothing is more important than educating girls. This PDF would agree with that statement.

6. Nothing is more important than teaching compassion. This is tied with #2 for being the closest to the truth.

7. Nothing is more important than editing. For writers this is crucial. Poor editing can destroy an otherwise amazing concept. While great editing can’t make an unlikable character or terrible plot suddenly worth your time it will make you wince less as you read it.

Respond

What were your results?

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Paraphernalia: A Short Film

We’ll go back to discussing serious topics on Thursday. In the meantime this is a fun short film about a boy who desperately wants to lose his robot. Enjoy!

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Suggestion Saturday: December 29, 2012

Here is the final list of blog posts, quotes, poems, paintings, charts and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web for 2012.

I know this quote is talking about individual human beings but it’s thought-provoking to apply it to our species as a whole (or even to the year that we will soon bid farewell!)

We die containing a richness of lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we have plunged into and swum up as if rivers of wisdom, characters we have climbed into as if trees, fears we have hidden in as if caves. I wish for all this to be marked on my body when I am dead. I believe in such cartography – to be marked by nature, not just to label ourselves on a map like the names of rich men and women on buildings. We are communal histories, communal books.- Michael Ondaatje 

Mermaids of the Canary Islands. This painting is a great short story prompt if any of you are looking for such a thing.

How an ENFP Celebrates the Holidays: AKA Why You Should Invite an ENFP to Your Holiday Party. If I were planning to throw a New Year’s Eve party I’d invite this blogger in a heartbeat. She sounds like a delightful guest! Hopefully she wouldn’t mind this INFP writing a few poems about her the next morning.

The First Rule of Hug Club. I like this idea but I have complicated feelings about hugging. I’m cuddly with my spouse and love hugs from family members and friends but social situations in which one is expected to give physical affection make me quite uncomfortable. Hugs should always be given and accepted freely. They should never be an obligation.

The Basement. Go take a look at this photo essay. Everything I want to say about it will spoil the surprise but you’ll like it more if you have no idea what to expect. Don’t worry, it’s nothing frightening!

The Meaning of Life Illustrated. The 9 pleasures of stimulation chart is a tongue-in-cheek look at the meaning of life. My favourite combinations are AG, DH, EH and HI.

From Lights Out:

a child’s question

pulls my attention

from a book to his questing eyes

‘did you ever fall in love?’

Althea’s family only looks rich. Since the death of her stepfather they’ve rapidly been running out of money. Her home is rotting away and the only way a woman of her generation can come up with the money to restore it is for her to marry a rich husband – and fast! One of the bloggers I follow recommended Keeping the Castle. Initially I was skeptical as I’m usually uninterested in love stories. What can I say, I’m not very romantic. 😉

I’m not ashamed to admit how much I loved this book, though. It was funny in a deliciously snarky (although never cruel) way and the interactions between Althea and her beaus reminded me of the pitfalls of modern dating and relationships. Too often we think more about making a good impression than actually getting to know the person sitting across the table from us.

What have you been reading?

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Books You Should Be Reading

Comic by Liz Climo

As I mentioned on Monday blog traffic is quite slow around here this time of year, but I would like to talk about books with those of you who are still around.

Here’s my list of must-reads:

After: Nineteen Stories of Apocalypse and Dystopia by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling. These genres shine in the short story format. As much as I love dystopian fiction sometimes entire novels focusing on the same ideas can be overwhelming. This is even more true for the creepiest stories.   If you only have time to read one of these stories make it “The Segment.” The twist in it was chilling in large part because I can see how easily it could actually happen in our world.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. At first glance Hailsham appears to be a typical English boarding school but as Kathy and her circle of friends grow older they begin to unravel the mystery surrounding the only home they’ve ever known. I figured out what was happening early on but the ethical questions this book raises are chilling and based on how I interpreted the ending are not at all resolved in a typical manner. Online reviews are split as to whether Ishiguro intended to write these characters that way. Some people think he was actually trying to make the opposite statement but didn’t write certain scenes clearly enough. I disagree with this theory.

Stitches by David Small. An autobiographic graphic novel about a teenage boy who is treated for cancer without being told his diagnosis or that he isn’t expected to survive. I’m hoping his mother’s life is the focus of a future book as her experiences haemorrhaged into so much of David’s suffering. Some people respond to horrific trauma by doing everything they can to end the cycle for good. Most folks I’ve known who chose this path were extremely successful at protecting the next generation. Others recreate the terrible circumstances and play the role of the abuser this time. Often they succeed.

Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotypes of the Promiscuous Young Male by Andrew P. Smiler. Abstinence-only sex ed taught me that men can never be trusted completely because they’ll say and do anything to get you in bed. While I don’t agree with all of the assumptions in this book I’m so glad to see more people pushing back against this stereotype. There will always be individuals who take advantage of others but they are not the standard by which entire groups should be measured.

Gwinna by Barbara Helen Berger. I first read this story 20 years ago and still lull myself to sleep some nights wondering about these characters. The plot in a nutshell: a lonely infertile couple asks Mother Owl to give them a child. She agrees under the condition that the child be allowed to return home on her 12th birthday. As their daughter grows up her mother binds her wings in order to prevent her flying back to Mother Owl. This works…until it doesn’t. What happens to Gwinna after she discovers her destiny is why this is the best children’s book ever written.

Delights and Shadows by Ted Kooser. A book of poetry Sabio Lantz recommended. Ted Kooser’s affinity for the written word shines through his work. This is the kind of poetry that seeps into your bones. A week, a month, a year passes and then one day these words bubble back up again in a quiet moment.

My favourite lines from this collection include:

The bright wire rolls like a porpoise in and out of the calm blue sea – “A Spiral Notebook”

and

I was that old man you saw sitting in a confetti of yellow light – “That Was I”

Respond

What are you reading over the holidays?

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Wild Card Wednesday: Holiday Advice

This list is (mostly) for folks who celebrate the upcoming holidays, and are fortunate enough to have people and resources to celebrate with; if you don’t fit that group, skip to the bottom. If you do fit, then even if your family are your favorite people and you look forward all year to the holidays, you still may find useful hints here.

A Bit of Holiday Advice.

I love this list.

Drew and I don’t exactly celebrate Christmas but last year and this one we made a point of having a quiet day at home on the 25th.

I cook whatever we both feel like eating and we watch movies or give my parents a call. It’s incredibly relaxing and we’ve ended up following a lot of the ideas on the above list even before Laurie and Debbie posted the list. Most of the suggestions are common sense but it’s nice to see other people coming to the same conclusions about what one “ought” to do this time of year.

I hope your holidays – whatever you celebrate – are just as wonderful as ours.

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Christmas Eve 2012 Search Engine Questions

Merry Christmas (Eve)! Traffic usually slows down dramatically here this time of year so I won’t be introducing any serious topics until after the new year. Instead I’ll share search engine terms that have lead new readers to On the Other Hand. Feel free to leave your own responses to them in the comment section.

Dogs don’t care about your politics.  Nope, probably not.

Why [don’t] anthropologists wear makeup? They’re too busy figuring out why you do.

My friend is stealing my personality. Step one: figure out what topics annoy, bewilder or bore your friend. Step two: develop a sudden interest in that area of life.  Ensure that every conversation drifts back to whatever it is your friend normally dislikes. Step three: sit back and watch his or her head explode.

Should you respect your elders when they are being mean? Yes, but sometimes the most respectful thing you can do is call someone out on their bad behaviour and/or spend less time with them until things improve. Age isn’t a free pass to do anything you’d like, and actions have consequences whether you’re 5 or 105.

Does a winter solstice mean more snow? I once read that we get twice as much snow during the years in which the winter solstice fails to arrive.*

When did you first grow up?  When I was four years old mom read a book to us about how babies are made. She was pregnant with Aaron at the time and Jesse and I had a lot of questions about her condition. One of the pictures in the book showed a man and woman gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes as they embraced. I remember thinking it looked like such a boring way to spend an afternoon and wondering why adults bothered with it.

I changed my mind about that eventually but it was my first glimpse into one of the many differences between childhood and adulthood.

Can I go see a movie alone on Thanksgiving afternoon? Yes. For the sake of the people working there I’d recommend renting a movie and watching it at home, though. Movie theater employees need holidays just as much as the rest of us.

 Do quiet people get married? Only when our dark lord demands it.*

What [should I] tell extended family when asked for gift ideas for child? Depending on their budget, the kid’s age and how close you live to one another I’d recommend stuff like:

  • A day or family pass to the zoo/aquarium/museum/theatre.
  • A tin full of homemade candy.
  • An offer to teach the child a new skill – baking, fishing, woodworking, underwater basket weaving, etc.
  • A recording of your favorite childhood memories. My grandfather did this for us once. It was the best gift he ever gave to his first three grandchildren.
  • One of those obnoxiously loud musical toy…but only if you offer to keep it at your house.

Should you forgive a player?  Readers, how would you answer this one?

*not intended to be a factual statement.

 

 

 

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Suggestion Saturday: December 22, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

The 45 Most Powerful Images of 2012. A worldwide 2012 digital photo album. Some pictures are inappropriate for younger or sensitive readers.

Average Life Satisfaction Score By Age. 50+ readers, how accurate is this chart in your experience?

Eyewire. So apparently this game helps to map neurons. Knowing more about where and how neurons are connected will give the neuroscientists who created it a better idea of how human neural systems work. Of course, if this was the opening scene in a horror movie we’d quickly discover that Eyewire turns its users into zombies or something so I can’t be held responsible if you wake up undead tomorrow. 😛

From 10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know Before She Turns 10:

 It is almost never about you. What I mean is that when people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you.

Atheist Census. Do any of these labels apply to you?

  • Atheist
  • Agnostic
  • Freethinker
  • Humanist
  • Rationalist
  • Secular
  • Non-religious
  • Other

If your answer is yes please fill out this census. At 5 questions it’s incredibly short and the results are tabulated almost instantly.  So far most of the respondents have been college or university-educated men under the age of 35 who live in the U.S., identify as Atheists and grew up in Christian homes.  It will be interesting to see the final results.

 

Is there a dark side to Mother Teresa’s work? In The Missionary Position Christopher Hitchens takes a closer look at the politics and ideology of a woman revered by millions. I don’t know enough about Hitchens or Mother Teresa to determine the validity of his claims but the book itself is well-written.

What have you been reading?

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Hobbits and the Nasty Business of Adventures

Last weekend Drew and I watched The Hobbit. I’ll try to review it without sharing spoilers but stop reading now if you don’t know the basic storyline.

The cinematography is breathtaking. Rivendell and The Shire in particular were amazing well done. I felt like I was standing next to the characters as they explored both areas. We didn’t pay extra to see it in 3D so I can’t contrast the two. Just know that the regular screening of it is still lush.

There are a few scenes in The Hobbit where Bilbo talks about how unsuited he is for this quest. He isn’t tall, strong and brave like his companions and his timidity and compassion definitely don’t fit the archetype of a traditional hero.

Someone whose life revolves around books, the food and the company of a few good friends isn’t the first person most of us would pick to take on a dragon. It’s easy to root for a shiny-armoured knight rolling out into battle. Even if few of us can identify with what feels like to swing a sword or walk in full body armour everyone knows knights stand a good chance of surviving fantasy battles.

Nobody expects the same thing from a  short, awkward guy who thinks adventures are too long, sweaty and dangerous. I grok this fellow and suspect he’s so beloved because far more people identify with hobbits than with the elves or dwarves. (Sorry, Thranduil!)

Yes, there were some changes made to the story as the original book does not include enough material to flesh out the plots of three movies. While I think everything could have been compressed into one or two movies I was mostly happy with how the new material was integrated with what I was expecting to see. Honestly, though, it’s better to go into The Hobbit without any intention to compare the movie to to the book. As far as I’m concerned they’re two different stories and deciding which one is better is like asking your parents which child they love the most.

The major concern I had with the new material is that some of it is so dark that The Hobbit is no longer appropriate for children. This movie truly earned its PG-13 rating and I would strongly recommend against ignoring this guideline. Even as an 11 or 12-year-old I would have had nightmares from certain battle scenes.

Respond

What did you think of The Hobbit?

 

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Wild Card Wednesday: Zero

A short film about discrimination, bigotry…and love.

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How to Restore a Broken Relationship

On Thursday I’ll be blogging a review of the new Hobbit movie. In the meantime this search term lead new readers here recently. I’m not a psychiatrist or psychologist but I challenged myself to answer the question in exactly 50 words. What have I missed? 🙂

  • First you have to figure out what isn’t working about it.
  • The only person you can change is yourself.
  • Everyone involved must be committed to fixing it.
  • Not every relationship can or should be repaired.
  • Three words: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. If nothing else check out a library book on it.

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