Suggestion Saturday: January 14, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, paintings and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Mary Cassatt’s The Bath has always been one of my favourite nineteenth century paintings:

Heart Potato, Face Potato. A surprisingly shaped vegetable.

A House Divided: Science Fiction vs. Fantasy. This doesn’t only happen between literary genres – I’ve seen people argue (and misinterpret one another) about everything from religion to the best way to do the laundry.

Ten 100-Year Predictions That Came True. Many of John Elfreth Watkins’ predictions did not come true…but some of the ones that did were eerily prescient. Click here to read John’s original article.

From January Blues? Or As Good a Month As Any Other?

It’s a popular myth that one particular “Blue Monday” in January tops all others for being the most depressing day of the year. This year it’s tipped to be…16th January. It makes some sense on the face of it – in the UK at least it is cold and dark; people may be in debt from Christmas excess; and who likes Monday mornings at the best of times?

Kaye Gibbons’ Ellen Foster tells the story of an eleven-year-old orphan’s journey through several foster homes.

What have you been reading?

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What If You Are Wrong?

Originally published on December 30, 2010. I have not been feeling well this week and am taking a short writing break while I recover.

Commander Locke: Damnit, Morpheus, not everyone believes what you believe.Morpheus: My beliefs don’t require them to.The Matrix Reloaded


Here’s something to consider as we slip through last few days of 2010:

What if you are wrong?

What if your most strongly held beliefs or codes – religious, political, philosophical, ethical, moral – are false?

This is a question to which I return from time to time not because I seriously doubt my own beliefs but because there is always the possibility that I could be mistaken. In the past I have been known to switch opinions on a variety of topics after thoughtfully considering new ideas. It isn’t something I expect to happen again but I also never thought it would occur in the first place.

Everything that I’ve experienced so far has led to my current beliefs but I’m not omniscient. Religiously speaking, for example, there could be something that I’ve missed that obviously points to the:

  • Muslims
  • Christians
  • Neopagans
  • Atheists
  • Buddhists
  • Hindus
  • Jews
  • Taoists
  • Sikhs

having the corner on the truth.

Ultimately it is as important to know what one believes and why we believe it as it is to hold those convictions with a gentle reminder that I, you, we could be wrong.

My Rule of Thumb:

If someone cannot admit that there’s a possibility, as slim as it may be, that they don’t have the unadulterated truth I will take everything they say from that moment on with a few teaspoons of salt. One blind spot has already been uncovered. Of how many others are they also unaware?

There is a deep, quiet strength in ambiguity-flecked beliefs, in following hunches, assumptions or even convictions without the zeal of absolutism. Grey is not always a cobbled road between the black and white villages of truth and fairy stories; sometimes it is its own destination.


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It’s Never Just Gossip

Originally posted on January 13, 2011. I haven’t been feeling well lately and am taking a short writing break while I recover.

Let’s begin with a one-sentence working definition of gossip for the purpose of this post: saying or listening to information (true or otherwise) about someone that you wouldn’t feel comfortable participating in if that person was standing next to you.

Between a difficult half-dozen or so years in school and growing up as a preacher’s kid in a series of small, insular towns I spent a good chunk of my childhood avoiding the ridiculous stories other people shared about me and my family.

The most important lesson I learned from those experiences is that it’s never just gossip. Listening to or spreading the latest juicy earful, even if it seems to be harmless speculation, can permanently damage your relationships for the following reasons:

It erodes trust. Most people consistently exhibit the same types of behaviours over time. If someone wants to share the latest titillating rumour about so-and-so I can only assume that they’re saying equally unflattering things about me when I’m not around. This makes it extremely difficult to share anything with them that I’m not ready for the entire world to know and if I can’t trust someone with at least some private or highly personal information we probably won’t be spending much time together in the future.

Words have sharp edges. They can destroy reputations and annihilate a lifetime of trust in one conversation. If I’m going to influence someone else’s life I want to build them up instead of tearing them down. Destruction is easier and faster but the only thing it leaves behind is emotional rubble. I want to be and do more than that.

You don’t know what you don’t know. Outward appearances and our assumptions about what is going on should never be taken as substitutions for the truth. They can point towards it but ultimately we can never truly know what is in the heart or mind of someone else unless and until they tell us.

Criticism is a habit. The more you practice it the easier it is to view others, the world and yourself with a critical and unforgiving eye. We need more grace and acceptance in our lives, not nitpicking or condemnation so this is how I try to treat both others and myself. Criticism does have its place in certain situations…but I believe it is a far smaller one than most people think.

I’d include celebrity “gossip” in this as well. Hearing that so-and-so is getting married, having a baby or won a prestigious award is fine. Rumours about alleged personal problems or nit-picking someone else’s appearance, family status or religious/ethical beliefs are activities that I find rather offensive. If it isn’t something I’d want to be said about me or someone I love why would it be somehow ok to do it to a stranger?

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Suggestion Saturday: January 7, 2012

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, paintings and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

This is What Happens When You Give Thousands of Stickers to Thousands of Kids. I have one question about this art exhibit – who scraped all of those stickers away when it was finished? 🙂

Protocell Shoe Mends Itself. The design isn’t great but what an idea! Imagine only having to buy shoes once.

Dear Customer Who Stuck Up for His Little Brother. The world would be a better place if there were more people like this big brother in it.

From How Does the Brain Perceive Art? 

We want to believe that pleasure is simple, that our delight in a fine painting or bottle of wine is due entirely to the thing itself. But that’s not the way reality works…We only see the beauty because we are looking for it.

What have you been reading?

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2012 Questions

Almost all of us have made a New Year’s resolution at least once.

This year I’m asking New Year’s questions instead:

  • When and why did people first start making resolutions on New Year’s eve?
  • What do lychee taste like?
  • Does the Mayan calendar end on December 21 because the world is going to end or because someone forgot to finish their assignment a few centuries ago? 😉
  • Can you make a dairy-free version of flan?
  • Is hiking more enjoyable when you add extra people?
  • What was daily life like for the average person in Europe a thousand years ago?

And probably many other questions I’ve yet to think of.

2012 is going to be a year of curiosity for me, though. There’s so much out there I haven’t learned yet!

Respond

Have you made a New Year’s resolution? What questions will you be asking in 2012?

 

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4 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

December wasn’t an easy month for me. To be honest by the end of it I’d grown pretty grouchy and wavered between feeling guilty for letting stress affect me so much and bristling against the forced cheerfulness of the season.

Sometimes, this process can be very subconscious. We won’t know why we’re being mean or angry or greedy or jealous—we’ll just do it.

From 4 Ways to Be Kind When You Don’t Feel Like It.

I loved this blog post so much I thought I’d write a companion article to it. Sometimes it can be as difficult to be kind to yourself as it is to be kind to others.

Here are a few things that have helped me over the last several weeks:

1. H.A.L.T. Are you feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired? It’s amazing how much low blood sugar, fatigue or interpersonal problems inflate a small problem into a huge one.

2. Say no. You don’t have to accept every invitation or continue all of the traditions you participated in before. I won’t lie – you may ruffle a few feathers in the process. But there’s nothing wrong with saying “no, thanks!” to something you’ve really been dreading.

3. Ask for help. Need a sympathetic ear? Advice from someone who has been through the same thing? Practical assistance with chores or a special project? Something else? Ask for it! I’ve found that most people love to help out if they know what would (or would not) be appreciated.

4. Recharge. You might need to do this more than usual after a particularly stressful event or period.

 

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Suggestion Saturday: December 31, 2011

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, quotes, documentaries, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

New Year’s Day:  Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.  ~Mark Twain

Chocolate: a Complete Beginner’s Guide. Who would have guessed there were so many steps to the process of making it?

‘Tis the Season. Cleaning out your closet? This link is full of good advice on what clothing should and should not be donated to homeless shelters, used clothing stores and other charities.

Nana and Betty. It’s amazing how much can be forgotten about the life of one person after just a couple of generations. I wonder if it will become easier to track down what actually happened to people in 50 or 100 years (assuming that we still have the Internet and that the records are preserved!)

The complete lyrics to Auld Lang Syne. I, for one, will be singing the entire thing tonight. 😉

From A Saturday Story:

I’m not sure if this will work, but it might be fun to try. We’re going to tell a story.

I’ll start, then we’ll take turns continuing from there in comments. Whoever goes next adds a sentence or two and together we’ll find out where the story goes from there.

 

What have you been reading?

 

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The Upside of Being a Hypocrite

Confession:

I participated in a gift exchange this year.

No, I still don’t celebrate Christmas (unless baking chocolate chip cookies somehow counts!)

It was with a small group of people. Bowing out was not something that could have gone unnoticed.

And I didn’t want to be the different one again. Too often I say no to:

  • homemade treats (stupid allergies),
  • church services,
  • get-togethers when I’ve made other plans…

After a while you don’t want to bow out any longer. So I said yes.  The amount we were to spend was small enough that a dollop of creativity was required to come up with a good gift and it was gratifying to figure out what would appeal the most to the recipient in that price range.

Will I do it again next year? No idea.

What I do know is that there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind or bending the rules. Just because something – a label, a belief system, a hunch, a way of doing things- worked really well last time doesn’t mean it will continue to do so tomorrow, next year, or in 2042. And that’s ok.

 

 

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So You Want to Avoid Awkward Conversations

It’s that time of year again.

Families are gathering together.  Christmas can be a wonderful chance to catch up with relatives you don’t see as often as you’d prefer. But sometimes awkward questions about what you are or are not doing with your life wiggle down the table and take root next to the mashed potatoes and dinner rolls. 😉

A more traditional OTOH post is coming on Thursday. Today I thought I’d share some youtube videos to distract all but the most persistant “why aren’t you..?” and “you shoulds!”

The Barking Cat:

Baby Rap:

Emerson and the Scary Nose:

How to Make a Baby Stop Crying:

How UPS Deliveries Actually Work (this one has a few bleeped out curse words):

 

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Suggestion Saturday: December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Here is this week’s list of blog posts, photographs, comic strips, short stories and other tidbits from my favourite corners of the web.

Gifts for the Baby.  I’ve always assumed the gold, frankincense, and myrrh were either used as forms of currency or sold to generate funds. Can anyone confirm this?

Mysterious Paper Sculptures. Ok, which one of you has been leaving ornate paper sculptures at the Scottish Poetry Library? 😀

100 Most Beautiful Words in the English Language. We should find more ways to include these words in everyday speech.

Ancient Graffiti. It turns out that graffiti from a few thousand years ago is not that different from what one stumbles across today.

From The Fir Tree:

Out in the woods stood a nice little Fir Tree. The place he had was a very good one: the sun shone on him: as to fresh air, there was enough of that, and round him grew many large-sized comrades, pines as well as firs. But the little Fir wanted so very much to be a grown-up tree.

I’ve never understood how this story became so popular. It has such a gloomy ending!

What have you been reading?

 

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