Tag Archives: Abuse

Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Like or Dislike True Crime? Why?

Hosted by Long and Short Reviews.

Click here to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and here to see the full list of topics for the year.

A drawing of a magnifying glass that has a dark yellow handle. The glass is magnifying three fingerprints that are on a white background. Content warning: domestic violence and murder. I am only including details that are 100% necessary in order to understand my feelings about this topic.

I dislike True Crime because of:

1) the way this genre can exploit the victims of violent crimes and re-traumatize their loved ones by sharing these stories without consent,

2) how some True Crime programs exaggerate or even make up details about certain cases to make them more interesting,

3) how some True Crime programs lionize murderers and abusers,

4) which victims are and are not discussed. That is to say, pretty, young, straight, white women are far more likely to be featured on them from what I’ve observed. It feels deeply wrong to me to overlook people from other races, sexual orientations, ages, sexes, etc. for these stories. The grief all of their families and friends feel is the same no matter what the victim looked like or how they identified.

Now to dig into a more personal reason why I avoid this genre.

Someone I attended high school with was murdered by her abusive ex (who was also a student at our school) in front of their small children a few years after graduation. He is still incarcerated so far as I know.  Their kids survived and are safe with relatives now.

What happened to my classmate and her family was horrible. I think of her story every time I overhear discussions about this genre. I’m sure it feels like a harmless hobby for many fans, but a lot of True Crime stuff can take on a sinister tone if you have personal experiences with the topic and see how uninformed and unkind some folks can be about the cycle of abuse and how dangerous it is when a victim tries to leave.

I cringe when I hear people talk about what they would have done differently in certain cases or how they thought someone should behave when faced with a homicidal ex. It makes me feel like they’re dissecting a book or tv show instead of talking about the tragic deaths of innocent people who could have easily been any one of us instead.

If you’re going to consume this genre, please speak respectfully about the victims and be careful about the assumptions you make about what you would or would not do in their shoes. You may know far more people who have been through something similar than you think. Kindness and compassion are key.

There’s so much important work that can be done to reduce suffering in these situations. I wish the True Crime community would focus much more of their energy on crime prevention, assistance for victims of abuse and their loved ones, and honouring the dead in whatever ways they have the time and/or money to do so.

Wouldn’t it be a relief to live in a world where the True Crime genre comes to an end because there are no new murders for them to talk about?


Filed under Blog Hops, Personal Life

Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Do You Believe in Karma? Why or Why Not?

Hosted by Long and Short Reviews.

Click here to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and here to see the full list of topics for the year.

Content warning: Brief references to physical and emotional abuse.

I believe in karma if the term is used to describe natural consequences for your behaviour and why it’s important to help others when you can and build warm, loving relationships with a core group of people.

A three-paneled comic strip that features three white figures carrying a log over a grey patch of land that has a gigantic hole on it. In the first panel, the first person nearly falls into the hole while carrying the log, but the two people behind them support them and keep walking. The second panel shows the second person in the same predicament, and likewise with the third person in the third panel. It is meant to illustrate the importance of community and we should all take care of each other during hard times because hard times happen to everyone. When I called the people white, I mean their entire bodies were white, they weren’t wearing clothes, and we only saw little back lines to represent their mouths, noses, and eyes. Let me give some examples.

My maternal grandmother has been kind, generous, and welcoming for her entire life. When she needed knee surgery years ago, she was surrounded by love and support. Some of her adult children travelled long distances and gave up scarce vacation time to look after her. Friends and local family members stopped by with food, to help with chores, and/or to give her some cheerful company during her convalescence. (She’s doing great now, by the way).

A different relative of mine has been emotionally and sometimes physically abusive since the 1970s. They talk about how lonely they are now, but they also refuse to stop being abusive or to take even the slightest bit of responsibility for the serious harm they’ve caused.

(I do not mean to say that relative #1 is perfect or that relative #2 has never done anything good, by the way, but their lifelong patterns of behaviour have greatly influenced their reputations and their relationships – or lack of relationships – with others now that they are senior citizens).

For the past decade, I have only seen relative #2 rarely, briefly, and when I can’t possibly avoid it.  Our conversations are only about the weather or similar topics because they have a long, ugly history of twisting even the most innocuous information into fodder for more abuse. This is one of those situations when small talk is a lifesaver!

I believe that both of these people are reaping and will continue to reap the consequences of their actions. How you treat those around you is important in and of itself even if the specific people you help are never personally in a position to return the favour. Others notice how we all behave, too, and this can affect what kinds of help you will (or won’t) receive when you need it.

So, yes, I do believe in karma to a limited extent.

With that being said, I do not assume that everyone who is going through a difficult time (or, for that matter, is wildly successful) is any worse or better than the rest of us. That’s too simplistic in my opinion. Both positive and negative things happen to all of us eventually no matter what sort of person you are.

Being kind and good will not automatically protect you from everything, and people who choose to harm others terribly are not doomed to face immediate consequences. Some of them prosper for many years.

Life is complicated, and you never know what’s really going on behind closed doors or what someone might be privately struggling with. Sometimes it takes karma a long time to kick in, and not everything has been accounted for yet by any means.

I have seen people suddenly reap the consequences of their actions in both positive and negative ways years or even decades after those deeds were done. You never know what the future holds, and I choose to believe that people who quietly help others will reap the rewards of their kindness someday.

Even if I’m wrong about that, I’d still rather do what I can to make the world a better place in the small ways I can than to twiddle my thumbs and do nothing at all.

But I’m still never going to be a caregiver or regular visitor for relative #2 if or when they live long enough to need assistance. That bridge was burned to the ground many years ago metaphorically speaking, and I’ve planted a peaceful, healing garden in the ashes of it that only safe people are welcomed to enter.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you subject yourself to more abuse, friends. Ironclad boundaries are an excellent thing for unfortunate situations like these.


Filed under Blog Hops

Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: A Documentary I Liked

Hosted by Long and Short Reviews.

Click here to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and to read everyone else’s replies to this week’s question and here to see the full list of topics for the year.

A photo of a dinosaur skeleton against a black backrgroudn. The skeleton has been pieced back together and is standing up straight and tall as if the dinosaur is still alive. You all may remember how much I like nonfiction. I enjoy watching documentaries about science, history, medicine, and other topics just as much as I do reading about them.

I think documentaries are the perfect thing to watch whenever you need a distraction for any reason. You can learn so much about the world through them!

I’ve been anticipating this week’s topic so much that I’m going to give two answers to it. (Honestly, I wanted to give like a dozen…but I won’t overwhelm all of you with my enthusiasm for documentaries).



I recommend Prehistorical Planet to dinosaur fans age 5 and older

Poster for season two of the documentary Prehistoric Planet. It shows a close-up drwaing of a dinosaur’s eye. The dinosaur has blue feathers and a yellow-brown iris. You can see the reflection of a flying dinosaur in this dinosaur’s eye which is cool.Prehistoric Planet is a 2022 and 2023 British-American miniseries about what life was like for dinosaurs and other animals in the Late Cretaceous period. It’s based on the latest scientific research of that era and was filled with information about how those creatures hunted (or tried to avoid being hunted), found mates, built nests, and raised their young.

If there are any elementary-aged or older kids in your lives who love dinosaurs, this is something they can enjoy just as much as adults do. The second season just came out in May, and the writing felt like it was meant to appeal to viewers from a wide variety of ages and backgrounds which is delightful. This one is for everyone!


I recommend Shiny Happy People to teen and adult viewers only.

Poster for the documentary Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets. Image on cover shows a photo of the Duggar Family that has a happy smiley face covering the actual face of every single member of the family.

Shiny Happy People is a 2023 documentary about the Duggar family and their relationship with the Institute of Basic Life Principles which was founded by Bill Gothard.

The Duggars have been a staple of reality TV programs on The Learning Channel since the early 2000s due to their frugal lifestyle and having 19 children.

They cultivated a wholesome image, but there were years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse going on behind the scenes both in this family and in Gothard’s organization in general.

This was not an easy thing to watch by any means, but it was educational. I especially appreciated the sections that pointed out some of subtle signs people can inadvertently give off when they’re being abused but trying to hide it as other programs on this topic will often only mention the biggest red flags of something like that going on.

There were so many people who could have reported these crimes but either never did it or were not listened to when they did. I think there’s something to be said for being aware of what to look for and alerting child protective services when warranted. Sometimes it takes more than one report for the authorities to take action.

Anyway, these are the two most recent documentaries that I loved. I hope you all like them, too, if you watch them!


Filed under Blog Hops