Top Ten Tuesday: Humorous Book Quotes

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

Okay, so technically this week’s prompt was “favourite book quotes.” I tweaked it a little to become humorous book quotes because the world needs more laughter at the moment in my opinion.

1. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt


2. “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


3. “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time


4. “Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


5. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs


a drawing of the sun that includes a smiley face on the sun

6. “You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth


7. “Are you always a smartass?’

Nope. Sometimes I’m asleep.”
Jim Butcher, Blood Rites


8.“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
George Bernard Shaw, Immaturity


9.“We’ll never survive!”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
William Goldman, The Princess Bride


10. “No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?”

“They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer.

“And what is hell? Can you tell me that?”

“A pit full of fire.”

“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?”

“No, sir.”

“What must you do to avoid it?”

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: “I must keep in good health and not die.”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre



112 Responses to Top Ten Tuesday: Humorous Book Quotes

  1. Hahaha great list! I love “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” The Princess Bride and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland are endlessly quotable, too, and I love that Blood Rites quote.

  2. Hi there Lydia! I only have time and data for a few visits today and I am so glad that I’ve picked you! This was sooooo funny! I have to mark it to get back to it when the data situation is better. Or Wifi!

    Great great job! But then again, you are great at all your posts.

    I took an old one and just re-published as time and data are not on my side! At least we are having a wonderful holiday…

    Keep well!

    10 Favorite quotes from books

  3. Lovely! All of your quotes had a bit of snark and sass. I’d no memory of the Jane Eyre quote, and finding something from GB Shaw is always wonderful. And let’s not get started on the deadline; my boss would love that too ;D

  4. These are all great quotes, but I especially love the Douglas Adams and the Princess Bride quotes! I’ve only seen the Princess Bride movie, I’ll have to check out the book sometime.

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