Top Ten Tuesday: Humorous Book Quotes

Hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl

Okay, so technically this week’s prompt was “favourite book quotes.” I tweaked it a little to become humorous book quotes because the world needs more laughter at the moment in my opinion.

1. “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt


2. “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


3. “Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.”
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time


4. “Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


5. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs


a drawing of the sun that includes a smiley face on the sun

6. “You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth


7. “Are you always a smartass?’

Nope. Sometimes I’m asleep.”
Jim Butcher, Blood Rites


8.“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”
George Bernard Shaw, Immaturity


9.“We’ll never survive!”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”
William Goldman, The Princess Bride


10. “No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?”

“They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer.

“And what is hell? Can you tell me that?”

“A pit full of fire.”

“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?”

“No, sir.”

“What must you do to avoid it?”

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: “I must keep in good health and not die.”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre




Filed under Blog Hops

112 Responses to Top Ten Tuesday: Humorous Book Quotes

  1. Hahaha great list! I love “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” The Princess Bride and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland are endlessly quotable, too, and I love that Blood Rites quote.

  2. My favourite is the one about the family skeleton! Thanks for the smiles, Lydia.

  3. Thanks for the laughs. I feel the Douglas Adams quote on a personal level!

  4. Ah, brilliant quotes and they did the job of making me laugh! I now want to add all of these books onto my TBR because I have yet to read any of them 😅 Some of these are really so spot on 😂 Great picks!

  5. Lovely! I forgot that Jane Eyre quote!

  6. I’ve heard that first quote, about deadlines, before, but I hadn’t realised it was a Douglas Adams gem. I probably should have though, his books are so quotable!

  7. This was a really nice list. It surely made me laugh especially number 3 the Terry Pratchett one. 😂

  8. Hi there Lydia! I only have time and data for a few visits today and I am so glad that I’ve picked you! This was sooooo funny! I have to mark it to get back to it when the data situation is better. Or Wifi!

    Great great job! But then again, you are great at all your posts.

    I took an old one and just re-published as time and data are not on my side! At least we are having a wonderful holiday…

    Keep well!

    10 Favorite quotes from books

  9. I love these! The Douglas Adams quote is one I saved a long while back, and it still makes me giggle. I love the Jane Eyre and Jim Butcher quotes too!

  10. omg I love all of these! lol love the one about the paint not having time to dry on the end of the world switch – pretty relevant these days!

  11. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” I really appreciated that one today. I enjoyed many of the quotes you picked, but this one especially. Great list!

  12. I feel like reality is ruining all of our lives right now. You couldn’t have picked a better quote these days.

  13. A list of humorous quotes wouldn’t be complete without Douglas Adams. 🙂

  14. Great topic choice, I love that Douglas Adams quote!

  15. Love Jane Eyre! She’s the sass queen.

  16. Lex

    Lovely! All of your quotes had a bit of snark and sass. I’d no memory of the Jane Eyre quote, and finding something from GB Shaw is always wonderful. And let’s not get started on the deadline; my boss would love that too ;D

  17. That Princess Bride quote made me smile. I am very fond of the movie and the book. Great picks!

  18. Some of these made me laugh (see Jim Butcher)!

  19. Ah, that conversation in Jane Eyre is so perfect. A lovely list, as always!

  20. Terry Pratchett wrote some brilliant witty lines!

  21. Ahh! Such good quotes. There are some favorites here. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!

  22. These are all so great! The Watterson, and the Adams, and the Willems! Will definitely be adding these to my own notebook of quotes. 😀

  23. Hehehehe, I love the thief of time quote XD

  24. I mostly just got hung up on the book title Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs! I have to look that up now. 😀

  25. Ha, several of these made me laugh.Great pics and happy Tuesday!

  26. These are cute. I can’t do humor that well, but I appreciate those who can.

  27. “If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
    ― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

    Aw! Mo! Love it.

  28. I feel like almost every Douglas Adams line is a great quote. He was quite extraordinary.

  29. I love these, but #1 and #10 are my favourites. Being a lifelong procrastinator, I laughed so hard at the first one.

  30. Oh, I love the spin you took on this one. And yes, they put a smile on my face so thanks! 🙂

  31. I love that you did funny quotes. We definitely all need more smiles and laughs these days. Thanks for that!

    Happy TTT!


  32. Great post! Really smiled at these. Loved the Percy Jackson one!

  33. That Douglas Adams one made me smile. 🙂

  34. Lovely quotes. Yes, humorous but also thought-provoking. Thanks.
    And thank you for visiting my TTT earlier.

  35. verushka

    Reality continues to ruin my life seems to encapsulate my world right now LOL!

  36. These are all great quotes, but I especially love the Douglas Adams and the Princess Bride quotes! I’ve only seen the Princess Bride movie, I’ll have to check out the book sometime.

  37. Love these! I’d encountered a few before, but it’s always nice to be reminded of how funny authors can be…dead or alive! 😀

  38. These are great! I especially loved the Blood Rites quote.

  39. Most excellent quote. Some I’ve heard. Others I’m memorizing now!

  40. I love your take on this week’s topic! We could all definitely use some laughter right now…

  41. Excellent take on this week’s theme! I agree, the world needs more humour, and I very much enjoyed these quotes. The last one was just the icing on the cake. 😀

  42. Great list – I think we all forget how many slyly humorous quotes are in Jane Eyre, loved reading the one you picked!

  43. Love your take on this week’s topic. The quotes you selected all gave me such a great laugh, especially the one about deadlines whooshing by, lol.

  44. RS

    Many of these did make me chuckle, thanks! I especially love the second one.

  45. Ahh so cute that you themed this! Such a great giggle.

  46. We do indeed need more laughter right now, so I appreciated these immensely! I adore Douglas Adams, so it’s wonderful seeing him right there at the top.

  47. HAHAHA.. Yes, this was a great list!!! 🙂

  48. The Princess Bride has so many great quotes! <3

  49. The Princess Bride is so quotable.

  50. These are some awesome quotes! I especially love the Princess Bride and the Douglas Adams quotes!

  51. the eight one is awesome!! can imagine skeletons dancing. hahaha

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *