Tag Archives: Humour

Today I thought it would be entertaining to talk about the assumptions we made as kids. My story has strong religious tones because Christianity was such an integral part of my first two decades of life. Feel free to share stories on any topic, though!

Growing up I was taught that doves were a symbol of the holy spirit. For years I wasn’t exactly sure what a dove looked like in real life. All of the pictures I’d seen of them were fairly stylized and we never lived in areas with high pigeon or dove populations.

Somehow the idea that the holy spirit was symbolized by a dove morphed into a private conviction that the holy spirit occasionally appeared in the form of a dove to see what us humans were doing. Using kid-logic I inferred that the holy spirit probably reported back what she had seen to God and that one should therefore be on his or her best behaviour whenever one of these creatures turned up.

One day I noticed an elegant little bird sitting by the side of a road.

“What type of bird is that?” I asked.

“A dove,” one of my parents said. I was in awe. God was watching us! For the rest of the day I tried to be on my best behaviour in the hope that a good report would soar back to heaven.

I kept this belief tucked away in the back of my mind for an embarrassing number of years. It wasn’t orthodox theology but it made far more sense to me than some of the official teachings.

Respond

What misconceptions about the world did you have as a child? What was your reaction when you learned the truth?

Here are some of the most memorable questions that have recently lead new visitors to On the Other Hand through search engines queries. A few have been lightly edited for clarity. Once again I’m happy to add links at the top of this post to blogs who continue this meme!

1. How to keep track of reasons? Intangible ideas feel more real to me when I write them down.

2. Is there a cure for nostalgia? No.

3. Is it unprofessional not to wear makeup? Only if you’re a time traveller from the 1950s and/or also expect male employees to lipstick up.

4. What is a whimper? The official answer: a soft cry. I prefer this bit of Ogden Nash poetry, though: “Hark to the whimper of a sea-gull./ He weeps because he’s not an ea-gull./ Suppose you were, you silly sea-gull./Could you explain it to your she-gull?”

5. In today’s world why do we treat others differently because of what religion they are?It’s easier to make up (or to believe) stories about someone you don’t understand than it is to step into their shoes.

6. Is there too much violence in the media? Rhetorical question? Yes. Rhetorical answer.

7. Is nontheism wrong? No. Non-rhetorical answer.

8. What to say when a girl compliments your strength? Thank you.

9.  Love stories about quiet people? I’m not romantic enough to write love stories.

10. Shouldn’t sex be more acceptable? Assuming it’s consensual – yes.

11. Is celebrating Osama’s death wrong? It is according to my moral code. Your results may vary.

12. What does fresh paint smell like? I’ve always thought it had a sickly-sweet undertone. It makes me feel ill after a little while, though, so I haven’t had a proper whiff of it in years.

13.  Benefits of eating animal products? Bacon.

14. How to have faith when you’re suffering? I didn’t even know how to answer this question when I was a Christian. If I knew who you were I’d offer a warm hug and a sympathetic ear, though!

15. What body wash makes you smell like fresh air? Fresh air doesn’t have an aroma.

16. What parents can do to teach their child about discrimination? Don’t be afraid to talk about your own experiences. Genuinely listen to the stories of others even if what they have to say is hard to hear.

17. How much does Bruxy Cavey earn? I don’t know.

18. Why is nudity more offensive than mutilation? Our society is seriously messed up.

19. How to silence someone with only your mind? At times I’m so focused on meditating, writing or reading that I’m unaware of anything else. Try this with your favourite activity. It won’t stop them from making noise but it will help you not to hear it!

20. How the mind of a talkative person differ[s] from a quiet person? Talkative people share 82% more of the thoughts* tumbling through their minds.

21. List of one word compliments? This sounds like a homework assignment. I hope it went well.

22. Is it true that quiet people are always thinking? This one is.

23. Skills we get from the Internet? It depends on what sites you visit. A few examples:

Twitter: brevity.

Message boards (any): patience.

Youtube: the ability to be easily amused.

24. With my friends I am the most quiet, they are all very talkative. How to be more like them? Massage the conversation in the direction of topics on which you have a strong opinion.

25. Is silence better than talkativeness? It depends on what you were planning to say.

*Not a real statistic. It would be fascinating to know the real number, though!

Please Rephrase Your Inquiry in the Form of a Question

This is a new section for amusing search terms or phrases not written in the form of a question. In no particular order:

Chatter like a magpie. On rare occasions you can actually catch me doing this.

Evil non-theism. I don’t know if my visitor wanted examples of non-theists who did horrible things or if s/he wanted to know what we have to say about other people who do horrible things. Any guesses?

Sights and sounds of my youth. If only memories could be whipped into more tangible things. I’d love to do an Internet search on some of my childhood haunts based on how I remember them.

Draw out the quiet ones and control the more talkative ones. I hate it when well-meaning people try to draw me out or thump down the cheerful conversationalists. Not everyone needs to be squished into the middle of the bell curve.

There are many kids in the park playground. As long as no one is being hurt this is wonderful. Playgrounds were the backdrop to some of my happiest memories growing up.

The quiet person is the one that usually knows the best. Yeesh, no pressure there! 😉

 

 

Earlier this week my friend Bruce posted answers to 30 questions that have lead people to his blog through Internet searches. Today I’m borrowing his idea. The questions have been minimally edited for better comprehension. If you continue this meme leave a comment and I’ll add a link to your post at the end of this one.

1. How do you tell a charity not to ask for donations anymore? The next time they contact you ask to be taken off their list. If that doesn’t work speak to the highest person in command you can contact or block their telephone number or email.

2. How to solicit charitable donations? Don’t exaggerate the truth but do be cheerful and respectful of those who don’t want to contribute.

3. Techniques on how to get donations over the phone? This is one of the most irritating ways to solicit. Don’t do it.

4. How frequently to solicit donors? I’m not an expert on these matters but I vote for annually. It’s predictable and just infrequent enough that I’ll (probably) at least listen to your spiel.

5. Is everyone born with privileges? No but the vast majority of us have at least a few.

6. How does our privilege contribute to injustice? It contributes in a few different ways: 1) it’s easy to forget that not everyone has the same advantages, 2) it can make some people so fearful of losing privileges when injustice ends that they fight to keep it going, and 3) sometimes our comfort numbs us to the suffering of others.

7. Why can I only wear makeup occasionally? I don’t know.

8. Any really really quiet people out there? Yes!

9. Are quiet people snobs? No more so than any other group.

10. Do really quiet people have social anxiety? Some do but there are also talkative people who are socially anxious and quiet and talkative people who don’t have any social anxiety.

11. How to get to know what people are thinking? Asking them is the most obvious answer. For a more subtle approach, listen to what they talk about and observe what they do and who they associate with in their spare time. People with similar ideas are often drawn to one another.

12. What is an omnivert? Someone who is energized both by spending time alone and by being in a crowd of people. Some people switch between the two while others need both kinds of interaction regularly to be their best selves.

13. Why are quiet people quiet? It’s part of our natural personalities. Not everyone is born with an endless stream of words pouring out of his or her mind. 🙂

14. What do people mean when they say “it’s always the quiet ones”? It refers to the idea that people are often surprised by what  quiet people say or do because so much of what is going on in our heads is never expressed to the outside world. This phrase has a slight negative connotation in my mind as it is sometimes used to infer that quiet people are more likely to be violent.

15.What cognitive disability does Lennie Small have? I know he was mildly mentally delayed but to the best of my knowledge Of Mice and Men never mentions a specific syndrome or diagnosis.

16. Can one be too skeptical? Yes.

17. Are pets excluded from heaven? It wouldn’t be heaven without them.

18. How to stop reading the news? Unsubscribe from your local paper and cable provider, remove all news sites from your RSS feed and plan to do something else with your newfound free time.

19. Why people should receive compliments? Assuming that they’re sincere and don’t come with any strings attached they can make you feel better on bad days.

20. What is a non-theistic person? Someone who doesn’t believe in the existence of any gods.

How we form and what we do with our assumptions has been on my mind lately. This story illustrates one of the most interesting (and wrong!) assumptions I’ve ever made.

Soon after I moved up here six years ago Drew’s parents invited us over for dinner at the house they had lived in for nearly 25 years. Their kids had grown up there and it was the only home Drew’s youngest sister has ever know. Before we ate Drew took me on a tour of the place.

The Name on the Wall

The most interesting part of Drew’s tour was the room that had once been his bedroom. I couldn’t help but to notice that there was a name  on one of the walls there that didn’t seem to belong to anyone in the house:

Jeremy.

No one mentioned it and our tour continued. I wondered if there had once been a fifth sibling in his family. As a child and young adult I’d known too many families who had lost a child and every one responded to it differently. Some talked about their deceased family member(s) openly and with anyone who would listen, others I knew for years before hearing a word about that part of their history.

Later, in the privacy of our own home, I asked Drew about Jeremy. It was ok if he didn’t want to talk about it but I thought it was better to know about a potentially painful topic than guess whether something bad had happened or if it was something the family was comfortable discussing with an outsider.

Drew laughed and told me that the room had been decorated like that when they first moved in. It had nothing to do with their family.

I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved that Drew hadn’t lost a sibling after all or amused that over the past two and a half decades no one had decided to take those wall decals down.

Lessons learned:

• Not everything in life has a complicated explanation.
• Sometimes the truth is more mundane than fiction.
• Redecorating isn’t as common as I had originally assumed.

What assumptions have you made recently?

Most of the posts here so far have been rather serious. This blog is a reflection of my personality in that I definitely tend to err on the serious, contemplative side of life.  Today I’m going to share some of the things that make me laugh and talk a little about why each one appeals to me.

Here is my theory about humour: knowing what makes someone laugh is a fantastic gauge of their personalities, values and beliefs. Once you’ve figured out a few things about me from this post, share your favourite jokes, comics, links to videos or other material in the comment section. I look forward to checking them out!

*Or, conversely, knowing what they find offensive, off-putting or even just not funny!

I love puns almost as much I do reading and writing and the latter are among my favourite activities of all time!

Jungian type prayers I am such an INTP!

My Little Golden Book About Zogg. As a child I adored the Little Golden Book series. Some of the pictures in the books were a little odd, though, which one reason why I find this parody so entertaining.

Unauthorized Trader Joe’s Commercial. Fun fact: I’ve never actually visited Trader Joe’s! This video does remind me of the local health food store, though, which carries a similar array of unconventional products.

Donald Duck Meets Glenn Beck in Right Wing Radio Duck. This is the most clever mashup I’ve seen in quite a while. Donald Duck was the perfect cartoon character to be shown reacting to some of  Glenn Beck’s most fear-inducing ideas. It would be even funnier to remix this clip for, say, the people I discussed a few weeks ago on Suggestion Saturday who don’t believe in germ theory.

Poly Interview. There are times when I am sorely tempted to make up ridiculous stories when people ask me the same questions again and again about what it is like to be agnostic, childless by choice, or bi. If only there was some sort of official FAQfor these things! 😉

Fumbling Toward Ecstasy. I’ve mentioned the Vag magazine series before here. This is their debut episode and is a great example of how to maintain a sense of humour and playfulness about one’s beliefs, whatever they may be!