Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Funny Things I’ve Googled

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A distinguished little Yorkshire Terrier is lying on a white surface. The puppy is wearing black glasses and a black and yellow striped scarf. There is an opened book in front the puppy, and he is looking up as if we’ve just interrupted his reading. Here is a quick snapshot into the funny sorts of things I look up online.

This post is making me miss the search engines from years ago. I feel like the results these days are so tainted by ads and content written by chat bots that it’s much harder than it used to be to find genuine content, especially from non-commercial sites like blogs or small, quirky websites about hobbies, local news, favourite authors, and the like. May that change someday soon!

 

What I Asked:  Why are some people so argumentative online?

Why I Asked It: I’m a peacekeeper by nature, so it’s odd to me to run across folks online who not only seem to enjoy getting into arguments about often inconsequential matters but also actively seek them out. Sharing cool nature photos or telling Dad jokes seems like a much more amusing way to spend your free time in my opinion, but I accept the fact that not everyone is wired the way I am.

With that being said, I also reserve the right to step away from fruitless conversations about, say, what the best condiment in the world is.

 

What I Asked: Do pigeons hold grudges?

Why I Asked It: Toronto has a pigeon problem. They are so well-fed and have so few predators that their population is much larger than it would be if the land up here was all still swamps, meadows, and forests. This means that not every interaction a pigeon has with a person, a dog, or another pigeon is necessarily going to be a positive one.

Seeing them fight over dropped food or fly away in a burst of energy when an untrained dog lunges at them makes me wonder if they remember who bothered them in those moments and if they feel a little grumpy the next time they see that particular pigeon or dog in the future.

(So far as I could tell, pigeons are not like crows in this regard).

 

What I Asked: Why does Google think everything is a symptom of a terminal illness?

Why I Asked It: The first time I googled a minor symptom and this happened, I was a little nervous. Now I just roll my eyes and try to find results for a hangnail, headache, runny nose or other temporary annoyances that don’t assume the worst. You’d think the algorithm would choose the most likely answers, though, instead of focusing on the tiny percentage of people who might be far sicker than they think they are.

 

What I Asked:  How can I stop dreaming about stressful high school math and science tests?

Why I Asked It: I was curious because I keep having dreams about surprise math, biology, or chemistry tests I am in no way prepared to take despite the fact that I graduated from high school quite a while ago. (I was an average student in math and science, but they were not my favourite subjects by any means). Brains can come up with such vivid dreams sometimes, although sadly there doesn’t seem to be any scientific answers about why we dream about the things we do.

 

What I Asked:  Do pets know that they are adorable?

Why I Asked It: Because this is obviously critical information that all animal lovers must know. Also, I was curious to find out if other people’s dogs understand it when I tell them they’re cute and wonderful little creatures. I hope they do.

 

What I Asked:  Will the United States ever take over Canada? Will they enjoy poutine if they do?

Why I Asked It: Your population is about ten times larger than ours, after all, and we do have large swaths of land in Northern Canada that are filled with fresh water lakes and wildlife but are only very sparsely populated by humans due to how cold it is up there. With droughts happening in so many parts of the world and growing seasons lengthening in colder areas now due to climate change, it makes me wonder if the U.S. is going to decide that 50 Nifty United States isn’t enough for them.

As for the poutine question, all of the Americans I’ve known who have tried it have loved it. But I promise you can enjoy it without invading us. 😉

8 Comments

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8 Responses to Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: Funny Things I’ve Googled

  1. Haha! I love ‘do pigeons hold grudges’. I also think people are way more argumentative than they used to be. At least it certainly seems that way.

  2. Stephen

    Honestly, I hit Google with so many random queries that I can’t even remember them — sometimes random thoughts, sometimes things prompted by what I’m reading or watching.

  3. Heh! A great selection of searches. I do think the search engines have been overrun by ads and AI written crap

  4. Interesting questions…I’m pretty sure Google is predisposed to look for serious diseases first because someone might think it might save someone’s lives and in any case it will give the advertisers a temporary thrill, trying to sell medications for the serious condition. Why self-test for lactose intolerance before you’ve paid for 49 blood tests and a coloscopy!

    I’m pretty sure cats have some sort of sense that they’re adorable. I don’t know whether they have a concept of adorableness but they do instinctively fawn on anyone whose attention they want with all those displays that clearly say “I’m harmless, I need help and protection and affection and food.” So they must perceive something similar to cuteness. And use it.

    Cultural invasion is considered better style than the oldfashioned kind, these days. Why fight for what you can buy. From here it looks as if Canada has more cause for concern about invasion by China. I’d put nothing past our government but at least our people do, by and large, hate war, think most if not all Canadian people we’ve met were nice, and want to be in places that are warmer not colder than our homes. At least the eastern States have seen a real modern war on our continent and don’t want to see another one. And, at least since annexing New Mexico, we’ve managed to show some respect to Mexico. Not enough to suit me, but some.

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